Oliver Anthony’s Country Song – The Guitar, the Grit, but No Girls

Oliver Anthony has basically become an overnight sensation with one of his songs, it’s called “Rich Man North Of Richmond.” If you’re kinda fed up with Washington politics in general, this song is for you. This is the country music the founders intended. I’m sure it’s in the constitution somewhere. In the future, will famous people be singing this song through Artificial Intelligence, kind of like these timeless AI hits?

It’s so encouraging to hear music like this in a genre that’s been giving us shallow stuff like HARDY “Truck Bed” (I dish out my 2 cents on that one here) or virtuous songs like Brad Paisley’s “Same Here” (I explain how dumb it is here). Oliver Anthony calls a spade a spade, which is what sets country (or bluegrass, blues) music apart. I’ve said it before in a post called “Rap Music vs. Country Music, Polar Opposites” and it’s still true today. Country music, at its core, is about being relatable to the common American. Singers are singing our story. Oliver is a gritty example of the beauty of this type of music. And he did it without tan-legged girls! The horror. Somewhere Tyler Hubbard is rolling over in his Chevy Silverado.

I would’ve called it something like “Men Who Want More… South of Baltimore” but that’s why Oliver has the Gretsch Resonator Acoustic guitar and I’m in my camper typing on my computer. The sentiment would be the same, though: Politically, Washington, D.C. sucks. Doesn’t matter if you’re a Democrat or a Republican, the ones who are representing us (allegedly) seem to be slightly out of touch. And by slightly I mean there’s a giant chasm between what an every day American experiences and what a D.C. politician thinks an every day American experiences.

That’s a big part of why this song is everywhere right now.

This is the country music country music stations haven’t been playing on the radio in the last however many years but I sense the tide is shifting to songs with lyrics that are less phony, less shallow (songs like Zach Bryan “Oklahoma Smokeshow” and Tyler Childers “In Your Love”) It’s also pretty cool that one genre of music can have such a wide array of songs. On one hand, there’s Luke Bryan’s “But I Got A Beer In My Hand”, a song with more typical country clichés like a breakup, beer, and partying. There’s a time and a place for a song like that (ever heard of the “White Trash Bash” in north Florida?). Then there’s Oliver Anthony ripping into our elected officials with the struggles of blue collar people all across the nation. It won’t be played at your next kegger but can we all stop now for a moment of silence, showing our gratitude that the bro-country songs about tan legs, ripped blue jeans, trucks and truck tailgates, might officially and forever be over? It was real. It was fun. But it wasn’t real fun. Somewhere Cole Swindell is rolling over in his topless Chevy Blazer.

Some people will hate “Rich Men North Of Richmond,” that’s just how the world turns. But one thing is for certain, Brad Paisley’s song is pretty dumb.

-Out of the Wilderness

A cool, new old watch

I have this watch I found and a consignment shop, bought it for $5. The band was hanging on by just a thread because I’m almost sure it was the original band and the watch had to be a couple of decades old. I wore it a few times before the band broke, so I put it in a drawer where it got shuffled to the back over the course of many months. Then in dawned on me: stores sell watch bands. What a crazy idea!

I found a band I liked and I’ll save the hysterics of putting on this new watch band for another post (the whole process was extremely humbling 🙃) but now that the new band is on, I take every chance I get to wear the watch when I’m going just about anywhere.

Oh yeah, I should mention that the watch doesn’t tell time. But since when does that matter!? I’m guessing its battery has been dead for a long time. I just like the way it looks so if you see me walking around with this watch on, don’t hold your breath that I’ll be able to give you the time if you ask. 🙂

-Out of the Wilderness

Baby steps forward in triathlon training

I think I’ve finally accepted that the bike I love, my 70s commuter bike, will need to be upgraded if I want to keep doing sprint triathlons. It’s not that the bike can’t help me finish a race, because it most certainly can. I’ve done two sprints with it and it held up well, zip ties and all. But if I were to get even a little more serious about improving my overall time, it’s time to get a bike manufactured after the turn of the century.

With that in mind, my dad and I went out to the local Trek store. I knew bicycles had changed and improved, heck I had a new (at the time) mountain bike I used in college and it was great. But the quality of the bikes I tried out at the Trek store, I was almost overwhelmed and speechless. Of course, the price tag reflects the experience, too, so I’m not jumping into something right away. In fact, I found a great bike on eBay and watched it for days until it sold. It was colorful, looked fast and if the scenario was a little different at this point in my life, I might have put in a bid.

I’m also thinking about joining a local triathlon group but I’m not sure showing up with my current bike would be endearing or embarrassing? It has a bell. Things are developing though, and I’m kind of excited to see how this whole new world of sprint triathlons plays out in the short term and long term of my life. So far, it’s been fun and I know I can improve in each of the three sports: swimming, biking, and running.

-Out of the Wilderness

But deep down we know Megan Rapinoe isn’t going away

Is anybody else tired of talking about Megan Rapinoe? I’m officially retiring the subject… after this post, of course. Maybe I should’ve retired the subject a long time ago, just like Rapinoe retiring from soccer a few years too late. I’m not saying she cost the U.S. the World Cup title, but I’m also not saying she didn’t cost the U.S. the World Cup title. It was like 11 v 10 every time she was on the field. Just terrible. From the evidence in the U.S.’s 4 games, it’s clear she should’ve stepped away from the game before the tournament, but that’s all history now. We can now leave Rapinoe in the past… or can we?

A dog returns to its vomit. Proverbs gives us such a great metaphor with this verse. Except this time, the vomit (Rapinoe) is returning to the dog (soccer fans). In other words, she ain’t going anywhere. Like a spider in your car that you’re absolutely sure you swooshed out. You didn’t actually see it on the ground but you can’t find it in the car after frantically brushing it from the floorboard out of the open door on the driver’s side. It’s gone, you’re sure of it. And you gotta get to work so you close the door, buckle up, and get on the highway. Sudden consternation when you feel the spider CRAWLING ON YOUR NECK WITH IT’S BIG BODY AND A HUNDRED LEGS!!!

This is Rapinoe.

You’re visiting a beach for the first time in your life. You set up your chair, umbrella, spread your towel on the sand. Waves steadily crashing on the shore. A few hours later you observe the weirdest thing. There’s a whole bunch more sand on the beach. The water has receded and it boggles your mind. You concede, “This is how it is now.” The thing is, you’ve never heard of tides and what you’re seeing is just low tide. You think all that water that just went away is the new normal.

This is Rapinoe.

Narcissists who love the spotlight find a way to stay in it. I predict she’ll end up being a commentator for the Olympics or the World Cup or women’s professional soccer. She’s a legend, after all, right? So don’t be surprised if she pops on your TV and you know what, be grateful you sexist, bigot!

She’s the vomit. She’s a spider. She’s the tide. Those things are as constant as the sun is bright. We haven’t seen the last of Megan Rapinoe and the popularity of women’s soccer will suffer for it.

-Out of the Wilderness

Is Barack Obama Gay, Pansexual, or Neither?

You know how people are gay sometimes? Well, I’m not saying Barack Obama is… but he dresses well and he’s got a lot of female friends. You do the math. Either way, conspiracy theorists who think his wife Michelle is a man are going to have a field day with info that just “came out” about Barack.

Rumor Has It. All kidding aside, the rumor mill is going full-tilt after the Obamas chef woke up dead the other day. Of course, a high profile family like Barack and Michelle will be in the news if someone just sneezes awkwardly in their presence but when someone dies, that’s definitely going to make the news even if neither Obama had anything to do with it… allegedly.

Why is the chef’s passing significant? Well, almost simultaneously, there was news about Barack’s romantic history with men.

Cloudy With A Chance of Men. News flash, he doesn’t really have any public history with men in a romantic sense. But a piece of info was revealed recently that a former girlfriend allegedly received a love letter from Barack back in his college days. Allegedly, he wrote about wanting to be romantic with men. Barack wasn’t our first black president, but could he have been our first gay president without us even knowing it? If that love letter is genuine, I actually applaud Obama for showing restraint. Especially as part of a party that says embrace all of your deepest desires. Perhaps he had goals and things he wanted to achieve (like being president one day), and he thought indulging in any type of homosexual behavior might jeopardize that for him.

Yes, Chef. Conspiracy theorists question that if the Obama’s personal chef is/was spending a lot of time with the lovebirds, how much did he know about their comings and goings? Did he see or hear something he shouldn’t have? It’s a far-fetched idea and if they were going to eliminate him because he knew too much, I have serious doubts they’d concoct a story about something as fun, and by all means safe, as paddleboarding. Maybe they should’ve taken some creative notes from this Train song.

Don We Now Our Gay Apparel. Since Barack had a girlfriend at the time, the new info would mean less that he was gay and more that he was bisexual in a time of American history where bisexual was very taboo, especially for men. Kind of like current news about comedian Wayne Brady. In the most interesting news since your neighbor’s colonoscopy, Wayne Brady announced he’s pansexual. Which means, let’s just be honest, he’s into dudes. B-List celebrities coming out as gay, bi, pan, trans, poly, non-binary in 2023 is like telling us what your favorite color of backsplash is in a kitchen you’re remodeling. It’s boring but people are usually nice enough not to tell you how much they don’t care. You’re an adult, Mr. Brady, do what you want. We don’t really need to know about it, right? Like the “Stranger Things” actor who recently said he’s gay. Umm, OK, thanks for the info, I guess?

True Colors. Entertainment celebrities declaring their sexual preferences is one thing, but a (current or) former president hiding or possibly being someone we didn’t think they were is pretty relevant. If Barack were to just address this love letter situation one way or the other, it would headline the news for about 5 minutes until the next ludicrous thing came along. That’s kind of what the truth does. It deflates anything that isn’t the truth. Imagine, though, having Barack as the poster child for your progressive movement (if news broke that he STILL was interested in men)? Barack riding on a pride parade float down the streets of Los Angeles next year would have people across the whole spectrum of genders (I know, there’re only two) openly weeping between twerking sessions and naked bike riding.

It would be a whole thing.

Tell Me Why? In 2023 America, coming out as gay, pansexual, bisexual, trans, or whatever else has been invented this week is one of the most brave things you can do, according to liberals everywhere. It really just looks like a cry for publicity. If you really want to make waves, come out as a straight man who believes there are two genders and see how your name gets smeared. The horror.

-Out of the Wilderness