Personalities: Justin Texterlake

The cool guy that texts all the time. He’ll text you when he’s with other people, and text other people when he’s with you.

“Justin Texterlake” is a flirt. Let’s just get that right out there in the open. If there’s a way to communicate with a girl, whether it be texting, Facebook chatting, or face to face, he’s got little fear of putting himself out there. For the most part, JT is friendly with everyone and, therefore, has a lot of friends, both guys and girls. He’s a likable character and definitely has qualities shared by “The Party” and possibly “The Indiana Jones of the South.” What sets him apart, though, is the constant flirtation and the oblivious disregard for conversational etiquette. This is glaringly obvious when you’re with Mr. Texterlake. In trying to have a conversation with him, you’ll notice him checking his phone. He’ll ask you a question and during your answer, he’s typing into his device. You want to believe he’s taking notes on your informational answer, but deep down you know he’s trying to score a date for the weekend. Then you ask him a question, and he answers with a question, “What?” You begin to wish of a simpler time, like ten years ago when the only device “Justin Texterlake” had was a Startac phone which he, of course, upgraded to include a long-life battery. Or fifteen years ago when all he had was a beeper and a 143 charm on his necklace.

This label is based on a popular entertainer for good reason because “Justin Texterlake” is popular, even with his faults, ie. lack of attention, ADD, short attention span, whatever you want to call it. The strengths of a Texterlake is his ability to network. Whether it’s for a weekend grill-out, or a Habitat For Humanity house build, he can be the go to guy for rallying a large group.

Now these characteristics I’ve attributed to a guy, but I’m curious if there’s a girl version of “Justin Texterlake.” In my circle of friends as they are now, I don’t know that there is one. What are her characteristics? Does she text a lot? How does she flirt? What sets her apart from other girls? All these questions will remain unanswered on this posting, because, quite frankly, I don’t know the answers.

I’d like to write more, but I just got a text from a Texterlake, so I need to go.

Personalities: The Dark Horse

Quietly munching on carrots in the back of the Super Bowl party, “The Dark Horse” is mysterious, but funny when it counts, and lends a hand when needed.

The Tennessee Titans are down by two with one second left on the clock. Jeff Fisher takes a timeout, then sends Rob Bironas in. The center hikes the ball as whistles blow. The opposing coach called a timeout. To make a long fake story shorter, Bironas kicked the winning field goal on the next play. The game is not the point here, because first of all, I made it up. You celebrate the win by high-fiving the thirty friends who are with you watching the game. Make that thirty-one. Behind couches and fold-out chairs, over near the dip and orange soda, you reach over to extend a high five to… “The Dark Horse.”

This person is often quiet. They don’t draw attention to themselves by what they say, it’s more about what they do. I knew a guy in college, Justin, who was a “Dark Horse.” Not only that, he was a work horse! He tirelessly served his fellow students in many ways, mostly doing jobs that were undesirable (cleaning toilets, taking trash to dumpsters, etc). His quiet nature added a bit of mystery to his appearance, but if you were to talk to him, you’d find yourself really liking him. He was genuinely one of the good guys.

“The Dark Horse” is one of the good guys (or girls).

While people are chatting about the game, “The Dark Horse” is sweeping up crumbs from a piece of pie someone dropped at halftime. This separation from the group will sometimes get “The Dark Horse” lumped into the label of “The Weird Guy.” It takes conversation to realize that’s a mistake, well, conversation or simple observation. As a career choice, people with this type of personality will most likely never be the president of a bank or a principal of a school. However, they will be leaders. And they will effectively get things done. “The Dark Horse” also shares characteristics of “The Database” and “The Thinker.”

Personalities: The Party

In a make or break scenario, this person always makes. When they arrive, the party starts.

I was walking my dog the other day and I saw two young boys playing in a neighboring yard. As I passed, one of the boys said, “Hi, this is my friend Wilson!” I responded and kept going on the walk. I have never talked to this boy before, but he addressed his comments to me as if we go way back. He was so excited for me to meet his friend, so much so that he never even told me his name! The young boy is a classic example of “The Party.” Very friendly, outgoing, the type that have never met a stranger. A cool person, for sure. These are the people you invite to parties you’re throwing. The people you hope are at the parties you’re going to. In fact all great parties have one single thing in common, the attendance of “The Party.” You can have good food, entertainment, all the right music and it will be a good party. But when “The Party” walks in, then, as a host, you can sit back and relax. You’re party just became an event. There are some drawbacks to inviting these people to your party, especially if you invite more than one. You’re undoubtedly taking a bold risk because having two or more show up at one party is like having too many cooks in the kitchen. Picture Jim Carrey in the same room as Jim Carrey. A sure bet would be to invite one far out enough that if it’s determined they can’t make the party, you have time to invite another one. I wouldn’t double up on these personalities because chances are they would butt heads, and the event suffers for it. Alone they are entertaining, fun, outgoing, and quick to make a clever remark. When there are two, nine times out of ten they become competitive, controlling, and loud. If you’re willing to take the chance on inviting more than one, and “The Party” is able to coexist with another, it’s called “They Party.”

“The Party” is a curious character. It’s hard to pin down which career most likely suits these firecrackers because they’d fit very easily in the entertainment industry. They’d also fit in the hospitality industry. But again, they may be the suit and tie kind of person from eight to five, which is why they let loose off hours.

Personalities: The Satellite

Whether you know it or not, and whether you like it or not, they’re always hovering around.

Often mistaken for “The Weird Guy,” T-Sat’s well-known for social awkwardness, especially around the opposite sex. The major difference in these two, however, creates a gigantic chasm. Satellites rarely communicate for fear of rejection. This is quite the opposite of “weird” people, who are known more by their excessive communication (sometimes in spite of rejections). Even with the low dose of communication, Satellites deliver a high dose of presence. A few weeks ago I was chatting with a friend of mine (who may or may not live in Tennessee). This person was telling me of a dinner planned with a few friends. The event was announced through a private invite on Facebook (so of course, even if I was invited, I didn’t know it). My friend put much emphasis on the secrecy of the invite, how it was meant for a select group so the party remained small and comfortable for those attending. Made sense to me so far. At the conclusion of the event, my friend noticed someone sitting close by, but not a part of the original group invite. It was a Satellite. My friend was shocked and bewildered on how this person knew where to be and when. Perhaps Facebook’s privacy settings dropped the ball and the event leaked out? Did someone accidently mention the party when they weren’t supposed to? Questions like these often arise when Satellites are visible. It’s as if they’re receiving data from an an unknown signal source, data that keeps them up-to-date in real time about social events around town. For their ability to stay informed, I have to applaud these social orbiters. They are resourceful, mysteriously mobile, and operate with little to no noise. While they’re presence isn’t always desired, they must be admired for their commitment to the game. Satellites are consistent, a strength and quality with plenty of room for improvement for friends we call “The Indiana Jones of the South(west Airlines).”


Personalities: The Weird Guy

Girls are uncomfortable around him because he’s either asked three or more of them out on a date, or one of them more than three times. That or he uses his eyes when he should be using his words, ie. he’s staring.

The reason I labeled this “The Weird Guy” is because in my conversations with girls, the title is very common, and widely understood as to what it means. Among my guy friends, we rarely, if ever, call a girl weird. So when these characteristics fit members of the female gender, they’d be labeled differently. If I were to ask my guy friends who they think a weird girl is, they’d suggest people like Lady GaGa, Michelle (from the Brad Womack season of the Bachelor) or Tori Spelling as Violet on Saved By The Bell. Odd certainly, but not creepy or uncomfortable (jury’s still out on Michelle here), ie. what a girl means when she calls a guy weird. In fact, she’s using “weird” to sum up a longer sentiment: “That guy has problems! I never want to be alone with him because he’s all kinds of creepy.” See how the word “weird” is easier to use? During my senior year of college, a “weird” guy came onto the scene among my friends. I was unfortunately talked into the middle of a little situation. He found one of my friends attractive and came to me asking about her. Perhaps I should’ve lied and said she was a gold digger, immature or married because the next thing I knew he asked her out. Bad got worse when she came to me asking about him! Not good. The end result was that she found out he was one of the weird ones. Guys like this get a bad wrap because somewhere along the way they missed the lessons on people skills, what to say, what not to say and when not to say it. Into adulthood their dating relationships (or lack of) pay the price of the social uneducation of their youth. With all the discomfort these characters may bring to an environment, they do also have some qualities, qualities that are admirable and even sought after. “The Weird Guy” is ambitious. He sees something, or someone, he wants and goes for it. Secondly, he takes rejection well.

“The Weird Guy” can be a Jekyll & Hyde of sorts, possibly doubling as “The Sattelite” or even “The Dark Horse.”