Perfect night for a weenie roast

I recently met up with a few friends for a bonfire. You see, here in Nashville it’s cold. And when I say cold, I mean it’s colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg. We even moved the bonfire up from 7pm to 4pm, which had me as happy as a hound dog with two tails. Speaking of dogs, it was a “perfect night for a weenie roast,” as someone said.

Also, there were real dogs there, too.

However, I could tell when it was time for me to go. It was when I started making comments about how nice it is to have a warm home to go to. It was also when my fingers were feeling like frozen weenies. Great night, though! I’m thankful for friends I can spend time with who are adventurous, outdoorsy, and dog people.

-Out of the Wilderness

Things you don’t say to women – Bible edition

Abraham and Sarah

Romans chapter 4 talks about Abraham and Sarah in regards to the promise God made to Abraham. The writer mentions that when the couple was blessed with children, Abraham was about 100 years old. The writer DOES NOT mention Sarah’s age.

Take-away – Never ask or say a woman’s age out loud or in writing or ever.

Mary, mother of Jesus

We all know the story of Mary being the mother of Jesus, although she was a virgin. There was a period of 9 months where Mary had to be showing… a big stomach, and all. The Bible never mentions anyone commenting about this.

Take-away – Never, ever, under any circumstances ask a woman if she’s pregnant.

Rahab

Rahab is credited with helping Israel take over the Promised Land of Jericho. Also according to the Bible, Rahab might have been a prostitute. She is considered one of the most beautiful women in the Bible. There aren’t any verses about the Israel men talking about her job.

Take-away – It’s OK to notice a beautiful woman, but never ask her if she’s a prostitute.

Mary and Jesus

When Mary, Jesus’ mother, told Jesus to do something at the wedding when the wine was all gone, Jesus hesitated at first. But one thing He didn’t do was hesitate twice.

Take-away – Do what your Mama tells you.

Ruth

Ruth’s story is a good one. In a nutshell, after becoming a widow she found Boaz and eventually became his wife. It started late one night when she uncovered his feet and laid there all night.

Take-away – Women always make the first move. Men, never suggest otherwise.

Esther

Esther was credited with saving the Jews when the king was going to have them all killed. Mordecai (Esther’s cousin), asked her to approach the king to ask him to spare the Jews. Mordecai went to her twice for this, but never asked her, “Are you able to do this?”

Take-away – When you want something done, ask a woman.

Eve

After Adam and Eve ate from the forbidden tree, they recognized their nakedness. They made clothing out of leaves. If Eve ever asked, “Does this fig leaf make me look fat?” I hope Adam knew the right answer.

Take-away – Never tell a woman, under any circumstances, that they need a Peloton stationary bike.

Thanks for stopping by!

-Out of the Wilderness

An old soul or a spring chicken?

There are probably lots of tests out there you can take to find out how old you feel. Sometimes you are in your 20s and feel like an old soul. Sometimes you’re in your 60s and feel like a spring chicken.

Well, this is how old I am. I’m “when you wake up ready for a new day and it’s 10:30pm on still the same day you went to bed” years old.

Yeah, that’s right. I woke up ready to win the day and then checked my watch. 10:30. Why is it still dark out? Ohhhhh, it’s PM not AM. It felt like I had slept for hours, though! Ohhhhh, I had. Exactly what time did I go to bed, anyway? 8:37pm. Yeah, I’m old. It won’t be too long till I’m waking up, eating a bowl of oatmeal, and checking where the hopping estate sales are this weekend.

Oh wait. Dang it. I already do that.

-Out of the Wilderness

Favorite non-Elvis, Elvis performances

In honor of Elvis Presley’s birthday (tomorrow, Jan 8th), I thought I’d compile a short list of performances that have stuck with me over the years. These are from movies, YouTube, and TV, and feature songs made famous by Elvis. I’ll just be honest, they’re mostly “Can’t Help Falling in Love” performances, except for this first one…

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in The Game Plan (2007)

Kina Grannis singing in wedding scene from Crazy Rich Asians (2018)

YouTubers Powerfox and Poneymane, one of whom tried out for American Idol years ago (2010)

Lisa Donnelly during Ashley and JP’s Bachelor Wedding Special (2012)

Do you have any to add to this list? Chime in with a comment below!

Thanks for stopping by…

-Out of the Wilderness

Amen and awoman ….my nit-picky thoughts

The U.S. might have lowered rock bottom because I thought we already there… until this. Aside from the lunacy of changing a word that has nothing to do with masculine or feminine forms, I have another gripe with what this guy said.

Am I being nit-picky that what annoys me more is his use of men-plural and woman-singular?

“Amen and awoman”

Totally inconsistent! If you’re going to be stupid, at least be smart about it. He should have said, “Amen and awomen.”

Now you are free to go check the other million comments about how idiotic his statement was. I just had to chime in with my two cents.

Thanks for stopping by!

-Out of the Wilderness