Excuse Me While I Pull Up My Window

Every day I enter and exit a parking garage. I’m quite accustomed to this routine. I pull into the garage, roll my window down, scan the card, roll my window up, and find a spot. Except lately the routine has been modified. I pull into the garage, roll my window down, scan the card, pull my window up, and find a spot.

“Wait, what’s that? You pull your window up?” you say.

I say “Yes, yes, I do.” I wait until there are no people around so it’s less embarrassing and, while pushing the button for the window to go up, reach over with my free hand to pull the window up. It’s like an aging dog that just needs some “encouragement” to get out of bed. “Good girl! You did it!” I’m adapting quite well, thank you very much. To avoid this setback, I now roll my window partially down (because then it will go back up with the button) and awkwardly extend my arm up and out to scan my card. There. Done. Easy fix.

So the next time you roll your window up, pat it on the side, and say, “Good girl! You did it!” That way you’ll look more embarrassing than me. Thanks!

-Out of the Wilderness

Puppy Breath

pupIt’s time to come clean. I love puppy breath. In fact, I’ve been tempted to adopt a 3rd dog for it’s breath alone. I can’t exactly explain why, but then again I also can’t explain why I like the smell of skunks, either. There’s something sweet about puppy breath. Like it hasn’t been polluted by food, poo, grass, sticks, fur, or anything else that a dog might eat and/or lick. A friend of mine recently got a Rottweiler puppy. When I finally got to meet him, I nosed around hoping for a wiff of his breath, and just when I was about to give up, a yawn. Highlight of my day. The only thing that could make it better is hitting a skunk on the way home. Fingers crossed!

-Out of the Wilderness

Merry Christmas from Out of the Wilderness!

Too bad they didn’t have cameras thousands of years ago. I would love to see footage from a GoPro mounted to one of the wisemen’s camels! Or Joseph wearing a chesty as he marvels at the newborn baby. Instagram would’ve completely shut down, along with Twitter, for that matter. #innkeeperfail
joseph with chestyjoseph with headmount

Hope you have a super Christmas day filled with laughs, family, and full hearts! To that end, here’s a video I came across that’s full of Christmas magic!

My Current Playlist

I figured now is as good a time as any to fill you in on my current playlist. That is, everything that’s not The Head and the Heart. Most of these are tagged through the awesome app, Shazam. Ronnie Milsap “You Don’t Know My Love”… I believe this country song is from 2006. Not sure how I missed it since I worked in country music that year. It’s catchy and just makes me feel good. Probably thanks to the harmonica. Plus I’ve waited around a phone that won’t ring, so I latched on to that verse. The Wild Feathers “The Ceiling”… first heard this on Lightning 100 in Nashville, which over the course of the year has become my favorite station. This song reminds me of a few other songs that I’ve loved, so obviously I love it, too. The 1975 “Chocolate”… I can see this song becoming my favorite very soon. Another Lightning 100 spin and I’m thankful I heard it. Something about how they say “petticoat” makes me want to dance. Deitrick Haddon “He’s Able”… heard this one day driving around Nashville. Gospel music like this cuts right to my soul, and at the same time, I think it’s the musical interpretation of how it would feel to be hidden under the wing of a protector. Know what I mean? Plus it makes me wish I could sing, and that I was black. Bad Actress “Guide Us Home”… this song plays at the end of Tyler Perry’s movie Temptation. The movie was forgettable, but the song is not. It’s haunting and yet, encouraging. Plus some of the lyrics could be about me! Jason Isbell “Cover Me Up”… my first experience with Jason Isbell was through a free song from iTunes. That one was called “Alabama Pines.” I make a point of listening to it every time I drive through Alabama. That one was free but both are worth buying. “Cover Me Up” is soulful, heartfelt, and Jason’s got a great voice.

Meeting the Ex’s Next

I’ve always thought our relationship was like Tom and Summer’s in (500) Days of Summer. When we were together, we weren’t ever quite on the same page. And there was a time after our breakup I really wanted to find (spoiler alert) Autumn first, like it was a competition. Honestly, what I really wanted was for her to find out I was with someone else, as if her jealousy would gratify me. That was a long time ago.

handshake
an example of a handshake

But I still didn’t know how it would feel to find out she had a new boyfriend. And in a dramatic twist, not only would I find out she did have a new boyfriend, I’d have the chance to meet him within the same hour! Holy I-Hope-This-Isn’t-Like-the-Dream-Sequence-In-Dumb & Dumber-When-Lloyd-Meets-Mary-(Samsonite)-Swanson’s-Husband, Batman! It was a curveball I wasn’t expecting. But hey, I’m a heck of a baseball player!

I was standing by the chili station at the company Christmas party and suddenly, there she was. And there he was. After the quick let’s-not-make-this-more-awkward introductions, I turned to the pot of chili. My buddy later asked, “On a scale of 10, how weird was that?” The answer is so refreshing. It was a zero. And it really was.

But if anyone had the expectation that I’d be happy for her, they’d be disappointed. I’m not upset or jealous either. I’m somewhere in the ballpark of indifference. And in reality, that’s a win.

-Out of the Wilderness