Posting daily at 1pm central about all kinds of things. One day it's dating, the next it's TV commercials. I hope you're entertained. Professional photos on SmugMug – https://benwilder.smugmug.com
She. She. She.
She turned his world upside down.
Walking around
Thinking about the best thing he ever found.
His life the glass, her life the rock.
Shattered faster than a plastic lock.
To an ocean dock,
She tied him up and began to heal
more than the idea, it was his heart, his ability to feel.
She was a steal.
He was willing to be a part of the deal
That kept her around day and night.
She. She.She.
She gave him a new definition of good.
The hand he held, it was good.
The smile he saw, it was good.
The plans they made, they were good.
He could and she could became they would.
She changed him for good.
She. She. She.
Different than the ones before.
A friend and so much more.
So pretty and barely knew it.
With an attitude and the ability to prove it.
An international improvement.
His heart beat faster at her slightest movement.
She fills him up like a breakfast bowl.
A peace to the restless soul.
He loved himself the most,
He’d often toast the single life.
It was nice being free,
But he’d agree
Freedom’s not nearly as pretty as she.
The lucky guys are still in Thailand trying to win Ashley’s love and devotion, this time, in Chiang Mai, Thailand. I liked how last week when Ashley announced they’d be going to Chiang Mai, Thailand all the guys cheered. Come on, no one besides Ames really knew where it was. But that’s where they found themselves and so they settle in to the Mandarin Oriental dadada Hotel. Ashley’s monologue about how she’s ready for new beginnings was accompanied by the music of Crystal Pepsi. I became inspired, and thirsty.
This is the first episode featuring a two-on-one date, but first, let’s see who got the one-on-one date. It went to Ben F., the winemaker from California. Their date included two pink shirts, a rickety 3-wheeler and a trip to the downtown market. I was expecting the Thai version of a flash mob, but they made umbrellas, instead. Wouldn’t it be cool if every episode had a flash mob from now on? Anyway, Ben had pink striped shorts on, too. I think it worked but what do I know? I do stuff like this:
After the umbrellas Ben F. and Ashley view an ancient temple. They aren’t allowed to kiss near the temple, so they close their eyes and kiss, Representative Weiner style, a.k.a. in their minds. Later, Ben F. and Ashley eat dinner at a breathtaking picnic setup including candles, flowers, and well, food. Ben F. opens up about his dad dying. Ashley replies with a “rhhhhhhhhhlly” which is a breathy way to say “really.” I suppose that means she was extremely moved by Ben’s story. So when you want someone to know you’re sympathetic, add h’s to the words you uhhhhse. Ben F.’s fan base is sure to grow after this date, so does his chances with Ashley. She gives him the rose that was at stake, then they kiss.
The group date included Constantine, Ames, Nick, Blake, Lucas, Ryan P., J.P., and Mickey. They guys take part in Muay Thai boxing which is basically kickboxing. The guys boxed each other in short one-on-one matches. The matches really could’ve went either way, but there were some winner and losers. Ames lost his match to Ryan P. and actually went to the hospital. He later caught up with the gang at dinner. Ashley pulled him aside to make sure he was alright. Ames explained the doctor said he was suffering from being totally in love… and a mild concussion.
Did anyone else notice the excessive use of cell phone video camera footage? I guess no one’s safe from the budget crunch, eh, ABC? Cheer up, you still have “101 Ways to Leave a Game Show” game show.
Blake gets the rose from the group date, which he accepts and then kisses Ashley. The first two-on-one of the season went to William and Ben C. and one of the guys will go home at the end of the date. William comes across awfully arrogant in his interviews, a side we haven’t really seen before. The three take a log raft ride down a river and I’m suddenly having flashbacks of the one time I watched Deliverance.
William talks separately with Ashley and proceeds to throw Ben under the bus, something he said he wasn’t doing. He told Ashley what Ben said to the guys about wanting to get back to online dating. In a shocking twist, Ben C. is sent home immediately. Ashley and William sit down for dinner where Ashley took a longer than comfortable sip of her drink. Why? Because she was about to send William home, too. Bam. William’s now wondering “…what was Ben C. saying about Match.com again? Or was it OKCupid?”
Later Ashley meets the guys for the cocktail party. She has some ultra boring talks with the guys, sponsored by my DVR. Fast forwarding to the rose ceremony, roses went to: (Ben F. and Blake earlier), Constantine, Lucas, JP, Ames, Mickey, Ryan P. The men sent home were (Ben C. and William earlier), Nick.
Quote of the episode… Ashley: “hhhhhyy gyyyyys” (a breathy “hey guys”)
Thanks for reading! For a relationship that has a better chance of surviving, and is simply more real, check out these two people getting married:
First, I have to throw in that she rolls around on dead snakes, also. Nasty, but fair. On any given neighborhood walk, my beagle Piper undoubtedly finds an animal that has recently passed away and because her sense of smell is better than mine, she finds it long before I do. Here’s what she does: she sniffs it, then backs up and beginning with the side of her face, she dips down and rub in it all the way to her hind legs. Unless, of course, I can halt the behavior in time to avoid a bath later. She’s not unlike a stubborn child but why does she want to make my life more difficult? Well, that’s where the story gets interesting. [also check out my blog about why dogs curl up in a ball when they sleep]
She’s acting on ancient instincts when she baths herself in the scent of those poor creatures that have bit the dust. The behavior can be linked to the wolf. To hide it’s own scent, the wolf rubs in a dead animal carcass, making it easier to approach it’s prey before the prey realizes what’s happening. The wolf is badass… and hungry no more. Hunting breeds of dogs are more prone to rubbing in dead animals, so that’s why Piper does it. It’s jungle league. My dog automatically knows how to get down and dirty and stalk her prey. I’ve got a badass beagle.
Are we all just hungry like the wolf?
The idea behind this hunting behavior is so similar to human behavior it’s scary. First dates, resumes, job interviews, first impressions, meeting a spouse’s parents, making friends at school, politicians, wanting to be liked… we take on some or a lot of the characteristics of the intended target. We do this to be accepted, to arrive with no drama, to make others believe we’re the person they see in front of them, and someone that should be liked and accepted. It’s about finding common ground, in a way. None is more obvious than “the politician.” When election time comes around, politicians roll around in society so the members of that society will believe the politician is one of their own. A wolf in sheep’s clothing, if you will. The ol’ rope-a-dope.
My dog wants other rabbits to think she’s a rabbit. Or a squirrel. Or a snake. If they accept her, she will take full advantage. The next time you catch yourself modifying your behavior to match the crowd you’re in, you should howl. It’s the way of the wolf. It’s the way of the man.
But I would never roll around on a dead snake, that’s just gross.
Ashley and the guys begin the episode by flying to Phuket, Thailand. I’m going to stray from my normal post and write in the style of the well-known if not famously popular Nick Shell, so without further ado… here it goes…
One of the beautiful Asian women
Video shots of Thai motorboats: 5
Video shots of the sun: 0
Beautiful Asian women: 2
red shoes: 1 pair (Blake)
How many Thai people were offended by the short shorts Ashley wore: all
Commercials with Asian women in them: 7
Umbrellas: 8
Constantine's socks
Thai man giving marriage advice: 1
What Ashley has that she’s ready to give away again: her heart
Socks at the beach: 1 pair (Constantine)
Ashley compared to fruit or a guinea pig: 2
Elephants painted on a wall: 1
New mattresses for the Baan San Fan Orphanage: 4
Cute orphaned kids: 10 (out of 10)
“buzzing around me”: 2
Ryan awww shucks 1Ryan awww shucks 2
Bachelor that has already been to Thailand for cooking school: 1 (Ames)
“awww shucks” face from Ryan P.: 7
Awesome Fantasy Bachelorette Leagues: 1
Roses went to: Constantine, Ben F., Ames, Lucas, Ryan P., J.P., Nick, Mickey, Blake, William, Ben C.
Check out Carrie Underwood performing “How Great Thou Art” as compared to Elvis performing the same song.
Shania begins her fall at the 2011 CMT Music Awards.Shania down on the ground at 2011 CMT Music Awards.Shania gathers herself after falling at the 2011 CMT Music Awards and..............people take pictures on their cell phones.
9:30 it’s over, I’m gonna eat dessert now! Thanks for reading Jeff, Esther, Tracey and Dave. My true friends.
9:29 Kid Rock says he loves being a part of country music. Tosses back to Jason Aldean who plays “My Kinda Party.” Is that the cue to start the after parties?
9:29 Ludacris: “History has been made.”
9:28 this is just an awkward combo. It was a good try though, I guess.
9:26 Jason isn’t the first to perform with a rapper. Recall Tim McGraw and Nelly. Anyway, Jason rapped the first verse.
9:24 Kid Rock introduces Jason Aldean and Ludacris… performing “Dirt Road Anthem.”
9:24 are those the numbers from ‘Lost’ on her arm?
9:23 and the buckle goes to… Taylor Swift…. who’s in Milwaukee???????
9:22 Kid Rock and his tall trucker hat replay the Video of the Year nominees.
9:20 fill in the blank at home… the performance will be [awesome/good/ok/not good/terrible/oh my goodness].
9:16 commercial break and another mention of Jason Aldean performing with Ludacris. Will that be a show stopper? My guess is they’re going to sing “Dirt Road Anthem” because the verses are more ‘rappy’ than a country song. Those parts, I can only assume, will go to Ludacris. Jason will sing the choruses.
9:15 Blake is on the set of “The Voice” in L.A. and gives his acceptance speech. He thanks so many people, and the fans.
9:14 and the buckle goes to… Blake Shelton. Good year for him. He’s not there either, surprise surprise.
9:12 after a major fall (see pictures above), Shania gathers herself and walks on stage. She’s introducing Male Video of the Year.
9:12 Kid Rock is bantering about the next artist up, and some girl throws her panties on stage. I assume it was a girl. He introduces Shania Twain.
9:11 Charles Kelley starts the process to a long and drawn out lawsuit by throwing his sticks into the crowd.
9:10 no time to think about that as Charles Kelley takes to the drums. They perform “Kiss” by Prince. you know… “you don’t have to be rich to be my girl…”
9:09 wait, isn’t this the same group that sang “Need You Now”? Wasn’t that about a late night booty call?
9:07 they introduce Lady Antebellum who will perform “Just A Kiss.” Listen to to the lyrics, finally a song about living with morals!
9:06 Sara Evans and Sheryl Crow are on the stage now.
9:01 at this point I rather see a commercial about cicadas than the Huggies denim diaper one, or the annoying Bing Facebook commercial. Once is enough, bro’s!
9:00 performance finishes. On the Nationwide stage, Lee Brice takes us to another commercial break.
8:58 I heard he wrote this whilst sitting under an oak tree in Centennial Park. I think the third verse mentions cicadas.
8:56 Little Big Town introduces Keith Urban who is performing “Long Hot Summer.” He must live in Nashville.
8:52 Fructis… it’s kinda like ‘frook-teece’. Actually, that’s exactly how to say it. They make shampoo and other stuff you’ll find in the hygiene section of Wal-Mart. Ok, next word to learn is ‘hygiene’… practice on your own, I think you can do it!
8:51 during this commercial break, I’ll teach you how to say Garnier Fructis. First, start with Garnier. Say ‘car’ but with a g and not a c. Next, ‘n’ and ‘yay!’ in one syllable.
8:50 is it weird if they don’t get a standing ovation after a song called “Stand Up”? I think I saw people standing as they clapped. Nevermind. Commercial break.
8:48 white flags are waved all over the arena.
8:46 Jennifer writes Love on a flag and hands it to 2 girls from Joplin, MO. The girls wave the flag as Sugarland perform “Stand Up.”
8:45 next up is Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina introduce Sugarland, again, should be a great performance.
8:45 actually I’m not a gigantic fan of their music, but I like them and I’m glad they won. They thank Roman White, the video director.
8:44 and the buckle goes to… Lady Antebellum. Awesome!
8:42 LBB goes on a rant about how to be a country star. She’s awesome. They announce the nominees for Group Video of the Year.
8:41 Ricky Schroder and Laura Bell Bundy take the stage next to which LBB says he’s a great kisser.
8:35 ZBB, probably my favorite band right now, doesn’t disappoint. Commercial break as The JaneDear Girls sing one of their songs, “Shotgun Girl.”
8:33 their set looks like a comic strip of an ocean, with the band appearing to play on top of the water.
8:32 he introduces Zac Brown Band, guaranteed to put on a good performance.
8:31 the show returns with Kid Rock saying “that’s right Detroit.” Okkkkk…..
8:30 between cicadas and camel crickets, I must say I’m not that hungry anymore.
8:29 I still haven’t eaten dessert.
8:25 Dale Earnhardt, Jr commercial for Nationwide. Grrrrrrrr. Jimmie Johnson is gonna win it all!
8:24 I love that song “Picture”. Wait, it was called “Collide”? Commercial break as Hunter Hayes plays and sings. I actually kinda like this performance.
8:23 they dance a little… the music stops… Kid Rocks tells the band to keep playing. They oblige and he and Sheryl keep dancing.
8:22 I might throw away my Lance Armstrong bracelet. What a dweeb for mistreating Sheryl.
8:19 Sugarland introduces the next performers, Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow that perform “Picture (the 2011 version)”… oh it’s called “Collide.”
8:19 Miranda’s not there, she’s either out on tour or still honeymooning with Blake Shelton.
8:18 and the buckle goes to… Miranda Lambert for The House That Built Me.
8:17 they introduce the nominees for Female Video of the Year.
8:16 the show returns with Jason Aldean and Kristin Chenoweth. She comments that he’s a verrrry handsome man. Something else about his blue or green eyes, and her short height.
8:13 I found my dog. She’s got a weird cough going on right now. Cecadas? probably. I don’t know why she eats them… uncooked.
8:09 Kid Rock has a slight wardrobe change. He introduces Colt Ford who takes us into a commercial break.
8:09 they each speak. Nice work trio!
8:08 and the buckle goes to… The Band Perry. Let’s see if she lets her brothers speak.
8:06 performance finishes with Big & Rich saying “the boys are back in town!” Luke Bryan takes the stage to present the next award, it’s for Breakthrough Video of the Year.
8:05 something about fake id’s, money, oh and Gretchen Wilson makes an appearance. Be on the lookout for Lil John.
8:03 their first performance together on tv in 3 years sounds a lot like Roy Orbison.
8:02 everyone’s (including you Merilee) favorite woman, Mary Steenburgen who introduces Big & Rich.
7:59 Ok, I didn’t want to go here, but if I see another denim diaper commercial that says “I poo in blue” I’m gonna…. I’m gonna…. ok, fine. I’ll just keep watching.
7:57 commercial break. ok, I really gotta find my dog.
7:53 Rascal Flatts perform “I Won’t Let Go.” I swear this song reminds me of another but I can’t put a finger on it. In my head I’m seeing Olympics, Whitney Houston, slow motion people running… can’t… quite… place…. it… but I want to go outside and run.
7:52 Ron White and Justin Bieber take the stage, not to perform, but to introduce Rascal Flatts.
7:50 Kid Rock talks about CMT One Country and their contribution to the USO and soldiers all over.
7:47 the last 2 contestants on CMT’s Next Superstar take us into a commercial break. I need to go find my dog and get some dessert, not in that order.
7:46 ZBB accepts but no sign of Jimmy Buffett. He must be in Margaritaville. Afterall, it’s 5:00 somewhere.
7:45 and the buckle goes to… Jimmy Buffett and Zac Brown Band.
7:43 Hines Ward challenges Clay Matthews to a dance off, who defers to the after party. They introduce the nominees for Performance of the Year.
7:42 football music!!! Ahhh the Fall is coming soon. Maybe no NFL, but at least there’s college football. Go Seminoles!
7:42 fire and explosions as the song finishes.
7:40 I like Luke Bryan. I like the girls dancing too. The color black is in tonight.
7:38 Luke Bryan turned his hat backwards = gametime. He performs “Country Girl (Shake It For Me)”.
7:37 Melissa Peterman and Cheryl Hines talk about how great Nashville is. The cowboys that live here. Cheryl mentioned hand cuffs and lost Melissa, who is worried about her. They introduce Luke Bryan.
7:32 commercial break. Kia. Acuvue. Super 8 movie. Old Navy. Zegerid. Cotton. Huggies. PC computer. ChristianMingle.com. Taco Bell. Thank you for paying my salary, by the way.
7:31 confetti from the ceiling. The show isn’t over, though. Hmmm.
7:29 lyrically, not the best from The Band Perry, but hey, they’re doing well with their first full length performance at the CMT Awards. Kimberly takes to the piano, standing up Lady Gaga style.
7:27 The Band Perry start their song “You Lie” with a quick line from Rihanna’s “Love the Way You Lie.” Nice!
7:27 Paramore (I thought they broke up?) introduce The Band Perry.
7:26 Justin with his backwards hat, speaks first. He is honored to be there. he thanks his Mom, his family, and Rascal Flatts. He lets them talk. They thank Justin, the record label, William Morris, etc. Oh and they said thanks to God. Joe Don said they have Bieber fever.
7:25 the winner is… Justin Bieber and Rascal Flatts for “That Should Be Me.”
7:23 Martina McBride and lead singer of Train Patrick Monohan introduce the nominees for Collaborative Video of the Year.
7:22 the final nominees for video of the year are announced, Jason Aldean, Kenny Chesney, Miranda Lambert, Sugarland, Taylor Swift.
7:21 Kid Rock asks an audience member to take their shirt off. A sign he’s had his first drink? We’ll see.
7:16:30 me finding the mute button. If I see another Olive Garden telling me I’m their family, I’m gonna go there and order something. But I won’t be happy about it.
7:16 Thompson Square perform a shortened version of “Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not.” Is it weird for them to perform after they just lost the previous award? Anyway, commercial break now.
7:14 Jennifer says this is the most fun awards show. They both thank the fans. Thanks to Declan Whitebloom, video director. Fans cheer and the duo walk off stage as Kid Rock introduces the Nationwide Insurance Stage.
7:13 Best Duo Video of the Year goes to: Sugarland. Good! All the nominees were good. Jennifer Nettles and Kristian Bush are cool people.
7:11 John Rich and Gary Busey and the winner of the Indy 500 are bantering back and forth now.
7:10 Gotta give credit to artists like Toby Keith (and Tim McGraw) who have a tons of fans and can perform without playing an instrument. Oh, and Ludacris was clapping in the audience.
7:09 if Toby has a girl bust up on stage pretending she’s a crazy fan then starts dancing, I’m shutting my tv off!
7:08 Toby Keith begins his performance of his brand new song: “Made In America.”
7:07 Wynona eyes Kid Rocks pants because they are redder than her hair.
7:06 Wynona and her ultra red hair belt out some lines, then Kid Rock interrupts her back, he’s wearing an outfit he probably found in the Country Music Hall of Fame. They finish the song as a duet.
7:05 Wynona Judd steps in and stops Kid Rock in his performance of “I’m A Cowboy”.
7:03 they stop and pick up Kid Rock. He enters the Bridgestone Arena where he’ll be hosting the CMT Awards.
7:02 guest appearances from Ron White, Donald Trump and some “good-looking” gas attendant, who calls them Cougars.
7:00 Taylor Swift opens the show by breaking up with someone on the phone. She calls on Shania Twain for help. Thelma & Louise sequence!
6:59 Katie Cook wrapped up her interview with Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman. Evan Farmer joined her and introduced the show…
Out of the Wilderness 