My Dogs Might Be Smokers

smoking_dogSo one day I walked out to my back yard, as I often do, and saw my dogs loitering over by one side of the fence. I didn’t think anything of it. The next day, they were in the same area, loitering. The next few days, the same thing. I’m like, “Hey guys, if this was 7-11, you would’ve been arrested YESTERDAY!” Before I put up a ‘No Loitering’ sign assuming they were bumming for smokes, I needed to find out what they were so interested in.

Recon proved they were nibbling on something in the grass. I was like, “This can’t be good.” Long story short, I found out my neighbor has been throwing handfuls of “dog food” over the fence. I actually think it was cat food he’s been giving his cat who, for sake of privacy, we’ll call Whisker 1. Whisker 1 is a big cat. I know this because she’s an outside cat who comes over regularly. And by “comes over” I mean she catwalks by the fence just to get my dogs in a frenzy. They bark and the hair on their back raises up. To this day, they’ve never actually come in contact with Whisker 1 and if they did, she’d cat scratch them right back to where they came from. I mean, she may be big, but she ain’t no wuss.

Anyway, this situation was slightly bothersome for two reasons; one, he didn’t ask me and two, I don’t want my dogs eating random cat food. I like to keep them on a strict diet so they won’t turn into overweight Whisker 2 and Whisker 3. Problem is, I’m not a confrontational guy (well, unless it’s on the basketball court or football field). For the next few days, I went over in my head how to broach the subject.

Sadly, it always ended in me getting a wedgy.

More to come, good day!
-Out of the Wilderness


Wacky Wednesday: I Will Remember Hashtags

desireeSo I finally caught the first episode of the Bachelorette starring Desiree Hartsock. Anticipation had been building for weeks, but mostly for the Bachelorette Fantasy League I’m involved in!  In almost any form, I love competition. Anyway, from shirtless guy to the knight in shining armor, these guys should just be called “future former contestants” because they have no chance. I wish future Wesley (The Baby Bachelor) would time travel back to 2013 and slap us all in the face for watching these shows. Kasey (social media guy contestant) is hashtagging everything in sight. So how long does it take for “business” to make something popular unpopular? No, no State Farm Insurance, I will not like you on Facebook. And thanks but no thanks, Kentucky Fried Chicken… I will not tweet anything about #iatethebones. If you’re reading this in 2035, I promise we did cool stuff back in 2013 besides tweeting and tumblring. 

-Out of the Wilderness

Jogging A Week After the Boston Marathon Bombing

I knew there was going to be a moment of silence today at 1:50pm (Central time) and I very much wanted to be a part of it. So during my lunch break I left the office to jog through downtown Nashville. I love afternoon jogs in the spring because I don’t have to wear layers of clothing, there are lots of people outdoors enjoying the elements, and I have time to think. Most of my thoughts today were consumed by a pretty girl in Franklin, Tennessee, but a couple of other thoughts stood out as well. One: I relate more to Taylor Swift than Carrie Underwood. At least, their songs. Whatever, that’s neither here nor there. The second thought occurred at the worst time, right when I was most exhausted. The cinnamon challenge. The teenage fad is this; trying to eat a spoonful of cinnamon as fast as possible. Evidently, it’s very difficult due to the nature of cinnamon. So as I was gasping for air near the end of my run, I thought about a spoonful of cinnamon which didn’t help me at all.

But then at 1:50pm all that was history. I stopped in my tracks and for 1 minute, I stood in place and prayed for all the people affected by the Boston bombing, especially the ones that lost someone they love. So because the three that died can no longer run, and quite a few others are probably in that same boat now, I didn’t run. For a whole minute. Then at 1:51pm I took off. Call it my little way of pausing to honor those who’ve suffered followed up by running hard to honor those who’ve suffered.

She’s Not the Kind of Girl Who’s Single For Long: Part 2

She wasn’t single for long. Nope, not at all! It was because my husky physique, my mild manners juxtaposed to my aggressive ambition, my good looks and of course, my athletic ability… had no affect on her whatsoever. She ended up dating a baseball player! I’ll admit his physique was huskier, his manners were milder, his good looks were goober, and he was slightly more athletic, but only slightly more athletic! Afterall, I’m eating blueberries now, so I’ll be an average athlete well into my 80s I bet!

I don’t think this girl was thinking long term at all.

(for part 1 of this post, click here)