Follow Up: My Dogs Don’t Smoke

Following up on the news that my dogs aren’t actually addicted to nicotine, just food my neighbor’s been feeding them, I knew a conversation needed to happen. The how and when were still unknown, as were the words I would use to start the showdown. Something like “hey…” or “so anyway…” or “this might sound weird but…” is so much better than how I predicted it would go, “Listen you jerk” or “Hey neighbor bully” or “Your cat’s fat.”

The day came where I was able to bring up my concern and of course, the neighbor was totally fine with it. Since then, I haven’t seen much loitering which is awesome. I feel like I have my dogs again because there for a second, they wouldn’t even come inside when I called them. The power of food, I guess. I’m sure my dogs are wondering what happened. I reassure them that the food is going to needy dogs in third world countries like Kentucky.

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My Dogs Might Be Smokers

smoking_dogSo one day I walked out to my back yard, as I often do, and saw my dogs loitering over by one side of the fence. I didn’t think anything of it. The next day, they were in the same area, loitering. The next few days, the same thing. I’m like, “Hey guys, if this was 7-11, you would’ve been arrested YESTERDAY!” Before I put up a ‘No Loitering’ sign assuming they were bumming for smokes, I needed to find out what they were so interested in.

Recon proved they were nibbling on something in the grass. I was like, “This can’t be good.” Long story short, I found out my neighbor has been throwing handfuls of “dog food” over the fence. I actually think it was cat food he’s been giving his cat who, for sake of privacy, we’ll call Whisker 1. Whisker 1 is a big cat. I know this because she’s an outside cat who comes over regularly. And by “comes over” I mean she catwalks by the fence just to get my dogs in a frenzy. They bark and the hair on their back raises up. To this day, they’ve never actually come in contact with Whisker 1 and if they did, she’d cat scratch them right back to where they came from. I mean, she may be big, but she ain’t no wuss.

Anyway, this situation was slightly bothersome for two reasons; one, he didn’t ask me and two, I don’t want my dogs eating random cat food. I like to keep them on a strict diet so they won’t turn into overweight Whisker 2 and Whisker 3. Problem is, I’m not a confrontational guy (well, unless it’s on the basketball court or football field). For the next few days, I went over in my head how to broach the subject.

Sadly, it always ended in me getting a wedgy.

More to come, good day!
-Out of the Wilderness
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