Posting daily at 1pm central about all kinds of things. One day it's dating, the next it's TV commercials. I hope you're entertained. Professional photos on SmugMug – https://benwilder.smugmug.com
Every year for the past however many years, I’ve participated in “Jesus, the Risen 1K” which, based on my own amateur research, is how far Peter (and Mary, John, and others I’m sure) ran to the tomb of Jesus when he (they) were told Jesus was no longer in the tomb. Can you imagine that plot twist?
I really like imaging myself in that situation. The people who were devastated by the death of Jesus, mourning and confused for a handful of days, then all of a sudden everything changed. I’m sure that was a moment that lived in their memory for the rest of their lives.
“Hey, remember when Mary came running up and told us Jesus’s body was gone? That was wild.”
A moment in history that literally means so much in the Christian faith (see how I’m less dramatic than I was in yesterday’s post!?). So on Easter Sunday, I put my running shoes on, along with my Garmin watch, and run approximately 1.2 km, or about 0.75 of a mile. That distance still makes sense to me for the time in which all of this happened. There weren’t cars, bikes, etc., so I believe most of the things that happened were in a short walkable distance… or in this case runnable.
As a man of Christian faith, Good Friday means everything!! But also, Easter Sunday means everything!! But also, Christmas means everything!! Can you tell I’m a little dramatic? I guess it’s probably more accurate to say that each of these foundational moments in the Christian faith are so, so, so important. Without Good Friday, are our sins covered by Jesus? Without him rising three days later, do we have access to eternal life with God? Without his birth (Christmas), what even are we talking about??
The life of Jesus is very interesting and I dare even call it fascinating. He was an outcast, a friend of lowly people, yet he had no reservations about speaking boldly to the rich, elite, spiritual leaders, government officials, people in circles he wasn’t running in. And even with that kind of charisma, he still was humbly serving those around him, people in need of just something simple like relief from the obstacles of life.
I love him.
This week means everything!! Dang it, there I go again. Today is Saturday, the day between mourning Jesus’s death (Friday) and then Sunday rejoicing his unfathomable act of coming back to life with no secret outside help at all. Remember when Peter ran to the tomb (about 1 kilometer, I think) to see for himself what his friends said happened? How can all of that be anything but divine (not that Peter ran almost a mile with a robe on, although I wear a bathrobe in the morning and that seems like a pretty obvious impediment)? But back to the reason Peter went to the tomb… Jesus. Divine. Especially considering everything else he said and did that we know about. It must be true that Jesus was/is either a liar, lunatic, or Lord. There are no other choices. Psalm 22, “…all who go down to the dust will kneel before him– those who cannot keep themselves alive.” That’s either the biggest lie, the words of a crazy author (King David), or it’s true. It’s also pretty clever (good writing, your majesty!) but what choice am I making today? What choice will you make? There’s a lot at stake!
Because of his radical love, grace, forgiveness, patience, not to mention that his death covered my sins and in all the ways finished the punishment I (and we) deserve, I’ll kneel now before I go down to the dust. Am I doing everything perfectly? Ummm, did you read my post from Wednesday? 👀
Yeah, go back and read that sometime if you need a reason to feel good about your situation. Gee wiz I suck sometimes! OK OK, I’ll try to be less dramatic. I love in the Bible where it says “consider Jesus.” That’s all God’s ever really asked. Just think about what his life and death and resurrection could mean for us. I’m really starting to think it means… everything!!
It’s not porridge that Goldilocks wants, it’s power. But that’s not the only twist on the well-known story of Goldilocks and the three bears. In this interpretation, Goldilocks is a man!
The golden locks in this instance belong to actor Glen Powell, who seems to be in all the movies lately. I recently watched Twister 2 and I didn’t hate it. Here’s the adventurous twist on the classic Goldilocks story, featuring Glen, a couple of kids, and a family of bears (who *might* be cocaine bears, by the looks of it… a reference to that wild movie, one of the few Glen Powell isn’t in!).
This ad is perfectly suited as a Super Bowl commercial. It’s fun, memorable, and it’s a good reminder that maybe, just maybe, Super Bowl-worthy commercials are still filling slots during the, *cough, cough* Super Bowl.
Yesterday was the most raw confession I’ve ever written about. If you read it (here), you can probably guess that the wide range of emotions I’ve felt in the last few days are still very present. And sometimes we just need a break from all of that, don’t we? Part of my break, a distraction if you will, was to get in some laps this morning. So on a lighter note, here’s how it went at the community pool today…
I arrived. I put on my tight pants. Swim cap on. Goggles down. Nose clip secured. And yes, I wear a nose clip (here’s why)! I slithered into the pool as calmly as possible because even though it’s temper-controlled, there’s always that initial chill. George Costanza was right, and that’s all I’m gonna say about that.
So why do I swim when I’m not fast? Well, because I’m not fast. How am I supposed to be a better triathlete if I swim like a manatee?? Actually, side note: Did you know one reason alligators don’t prey on manatees is because manatees are fast in the water? That’s not something we discuss enough, I think. So maybe I’m more like floating debris. But I’m working on it because I have a triathlon coming up next weekend. Funny that as the weather temp goes up, so does my training. Isn’t it easier to do things outside when it’s not frickin’ cold!? The last time I swam in cold water it took a few hours to stop shaking. I guess that’s why I’m a big fan of hotness whether I’m swimming, biking, or running. Give me all the sweat!
The swim went good this morning, 1200 yds in two intervals (2×600) and even though my Tyr swim jammers are as tight as they should be– I can’t fathom how men… or women for that matter… are confident enough in public to wear speedos or bikinis when another human being can witness it– where was I going with this run-on sentence?? Oh yes, even with the “tight pants” on, it was good to get into the pool and burn some energy.
Plus, at the pool I randomly (or was it a divine thing?) saw a couple of guys I know, one from triathlons. I’ve been really happy to connect with him since he’s new and the race coming up next weekend is his first! Very cool. The other guy, I had chatted with at the pool once back in 2024 and the convo quickly turned into such great spiritual encouragement to me. Haven’t seen him since then but it’s not a coincidence that I saw him today. A little God moment just for me.
Also, no-one seemed taken aback by my pants and their level of tightness. I’m calling that a win.
I didn’t want to write about this until I talked to my family. Like that’s an easy step or something. There’s so much pride in my heart (and not the admirable kind) that I’m finding it very difficult to admit to my parents, siblings, that I recently made a really big mistake. Like, very big. Gigantic. And it’s nobody’s fault but my own. Quick backstory: I live with my two dogs in a camper so I don’t have a family of my own, per se. So these people in my life are the ones I wanted to tell first before going online with the story.
Yesterday I had one of the worst days of my life, apart from losing loved ones and stuff like that. I have no idea how the day got like this, except to say that it was a blur. I’m embarrassed, ashamed, angry, sad. My hands and feet were tingling like being pricked by a thousand needles. I lost my appetite, I couldn’t sleep… because the weight of “chasing losses,” as it’s called, devastated me all day. I’m talking about sports betting and specifically in my case, Hard Rock Bet. It’s legal in Florida according to the jingle. I’m even waking up today devastated and asking myself what I’ve done. It started with just a few dollars and ballooned to so much more. I’ve cried, prayed, yelled, paced the floor (and in a camper that’s a lot of turning around). At this point I feel almost completely hopeless. Why didn’t I truly learn my lesson the first time I wrote about sports gambling?
I know this for sure, now: Forever, I’m done with sports gambling. I have never felt so unhealthy, disconnected from reality, and alone. That is, until I had a good, long talk with the people I admire the most– my parents. Both my mom and my dad stopped what they were doing just to sit down with me and, in a way, carry the burden with me. I told them everything from how the day started to how it ended. They said they could sense something was wrong that day because I was acting different. I’m SO glad I have them in my life especially for this experience, one of the hardest days I’ve had to go through. Originally, this post was going to be designed as a preface for my GoFundMe pitch. You know, hey you, help me financially through this massive obstacle I put in my own way. Through the guidance of my dad and mom, I’m not going to do that, though. They shared wisdom for a few ways to tackle this: God and good work. Of course, there IS a way you can knock two birds out with one stone. 😉 You can contribute to my material recovery process AND have an awesome gift for someone you love! I’ve written two children’s books and I love them both so much. OK, the pitch for my books is done… here are the links, then we’ll get on with the story. OK now the pitch is done. ✅
Although I was a mess when I confessed all of this to my parents– talking about how I’m not good at anything, I’m hopeless, how can I recover this debt, all that kind of dramatic stuff, they had nothing but encouragement, no shaming, no judgement. I cannot very accurately say how much that has meant to me already. I still need to talk with my sister and brother-in-law, and I’m imagining it will be just as humbling to admit this disappointing part of my life.
But there’s a bright side. As my parents explained, this can be a wake up call. Lately, you see, I’ve been wondering about life, about my purpose, and all of that came to a head yesterday for me. And all it took was a terrible experience with sports bets. And it was so terrible. I cried but not in a “woe is me” kind of way, it was all in confession to God that I don’t really like who I am. I’m struggling to find purpose. But now I can see a little bit of a light, even though I’ll be honest that I still feel the burden, too. That won’t go away in just one day. I made poor decisions but if this can be a life lesson and a change of course towards something better, a direction that includes acknowledging that I pretty much suck at life when I try to do it on my own without God (like Ecclesiastes says in the Old Testament), then maybe, just maybe this experience won’t be in vain, or vanity as Solomon would say.
Two last things: One from my mom who heard a woman in her Bible study say just this morning that sometimes God doesn’t remove the struggle, or save us from it, but he will be with us through them and carry us to the other side.
And the other thing: I was listening to UB40 (still on my UB40 binge I guess?) and a certain song popped up. It’s not about faith but the sentiment is so true. I felt as if God was telling me “bring me your cup, I’ll fill you up.”
Out of the Wilderness 