Unlucky Fan Gets Seat Directly Behind Cardboard Cutouts

Tampa Bay, FL — Due to looser regulations on COVID-19, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have been allowing 15% capacity in their stadium, much to the delight of lifelong Bucs fan Jason Treger. “This year has been a tough one. I lost my job. I might have to sell my house. All I wanted was to score a ticket to see my Bucs play and maybe watch Tom Brady throw a couple touchdowns.”

Part of Jason’s wish came true; he was one of a handful of lucky fans to get a ticket for a recent game. However, that’s where his luck ran out. Though there were plenty of empty seats around the stadium, his seat was squarely behind two of the largest cardboard cutouts ever manufactured.

Jason’s view for the entire game

Jason provided OTW News with a photo he took during the game. He said if you look closely you can see Tom Brady but we inspected the picture and cannot confirm this. Jason left the game feeling empty and disheartened. The only solace Jason has in this world is that he’s not a Jets fan.

-OTW News

Joe Biden Hosts Grassroots Event with Room Full of Cardboard Cutouts

Cleveland, OH — After the last debate Joe Biden went right back to campaigning in key battleground states. Among the stops was a “grassroots” fundraiser in Cleveland, Ohio. Due to low turnout, a source confirming not one real person showed up, Biden campaign organizers hurriedly set up cardboard cutouts of likely Democrat voters.

[Nominee For Vice President Encourages All Supporters To Buy Identical Converse Sneakers]

Biden seemed completely unaware as he fielded questions, bumped elbows, and sniffed the hair of cutouts all around the room.

“These people here are exactly why I’m running for President,” Biden said in a statement to one reporter. “I want to be a leader they can trust. Where do I go now?” Biden’s handlers then shuffled him off to brush his teeth and put his pajamas on because it was just after 4 P.M.

-OTW News