The Bachelorette in 500 Words or Less: Episode 1 Ashley Meets the Guys

Welcome back to the 21st century version of Love Connection!

This season of the Bachelorette features Ashley Hebert (pronounced ‘a bear’) who’s determined to do things right this time around. Ashley finished third on Brad Womack’s season of The Bachelor. She blamed herself for coming up short, but vows that now she will leave with no regrets as she chooses between 25 guys. Episode 1 begins just like the other seasons did, with a little of Ashley’s history… an obvious plug for the benefits of recycling.

Let’s get right to the guys. Ryan P. emerges as a standout even though he made a Taylor Swift heart with his hands. Another early favorite is J.P., who says things like June One instead of June First. Jon comes out of the limousine wearing a pink tie then proceeds to pick Ashley up like a sack of potatoes. He was more successful than Mickey who attempted to give Ashley a gift on behalf of all the men in America, a kiss on the lips. Ashley avoided it, and Mickey went inside. To the average viewer, this may seem like an unrecoverable error for Mickey. However, I’ve observed behavior like this at the dog park. Male dogs will hump anything. Female dogs will just growl and let them keep trying. So Mickey will probably stick around till Ashley has to go home and realizes she doesn’t want to go home pregnant by a dog she met at a public park. Ben C. is a self-proclaimed romantic and Ashley seems to be smitten by him. Ben F. is a winemaker from California. This season’s villain is Bentley who is or isn’t bad news for Ashley, depending on who you ask. She was hoping he would have only one front tooth so her decision would be easy but it turns out he’s not from Kentucky. Tim, who admitted he was nervous around her, ends up drunker than a 21-year old doing the Tennessee Waltz at Florida State.

A couple of other standouts are West, who’s ready for love after dealing with the death of his wife, William who seems to be a pretty good match, Sir Gaga who vows to wear a mask till Ashley knows the real him, and Matt with his phone call to Mom while chatting with Ashley. Letting her talk to Mom is a clear sign he’s into her. If she doesn’t understand that, she should read this: 10 Signs He’s Into You.

Does anyone know why Chris Harrison often mentions that Ashley is meeting 25 of the most eligible bachelors? How can one bachelor be more eligible than another? Anyway, there are 6 guys who are evenĀ more eligible now. Tim, Anthony, Rob, Jon, Frank, Michael and Chris M. were sent home with no rose.

The first impression rose went to Ryan P. Then roses went to Sir Gaga (Jeff), Constantine, Ben F., Lucas, Stephen, Matt, Nick, Chris D., Ryan M., Blake, Mickey, Ben C., West, William, J.P., Ames and Bentley.

Check back next week for a another recap of TheĀ Bachelorette. See ya in two and two!

Chuck Woolery, host of The Love Connection


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