Marriage worship

How many of you have watched romantic comedies where all the problems are solved when the man and woman finally become a couple? It’s the plot of a few of my favorite movies (Hitch, The Notebook, Serendipity) and EVERY Hallmark movie. There’s the main character who is dating someone who is clearly the opposite of a good match, then a love interest pops on screen who initially has conflicts with the main character but is clearly the perfect match for them romantically. An hour and a half later bells are ringing and everyone’s cry-laughing and hugging.

Gosh, I love The Notebook. I just watched this boat/swan scene again and I’m not crying, YOU’RE crying. But anyway, what I’ve noticed as a single man in my 30s and 40s about marriage specifically are a few things. One, it’s a wonderful thing most of the time. I’m not here to bash the institution of marriage at all. I hope to one day experience it. There are many great things about it (so I’ve heard), but there’s something else…

Marriage worship.

The idea that a relationship (and marriage, specifically) is the highest of life goals one can pursue and achieve. As a single person, this idea can be so hurtful. Imagine going up to a woman who hasn’t had children yet and talking to her all about how great being a parent is. Try approaching a blind person to tell them how beautiful the sunset was last night. Do either of those examples sound like a good time for the childless woman or the blind person?

We’ve put marriage on a pedestal and that’s not at all where it belongs. Yes, it should be sacred and cherished, guarded and nurtured, but I fear that in America it’s become a thing we worship. The lesson is that a person is not reaching their full potential until they have a love in their life. We’ve been conditioned to think this way and it’s so unhealthy.

I need to stop watching these clips before I include them. You’re crying again. But to get back to the point… it bothers me how marriage is worshipped in this country.

You complete me.

That’s a classic line and it sounds good, but sorry, no. You can be a complete person with or without a wife or husband. I’m a Christian so my slant on the solution is this: I would rather worship God and if I ever get married, yay. If I don’t, yay. I hope and pray that at the end of my life if I’ve never been married, I don’t feel as though I didn’t reach some sort of man-made goal and have despair about it.

Let’s take marriage and love OFF the pedestal and treat it as a great thing, but not the ultimate goal of life. There is so much more out there than finding someone to grow old with. At least that’s my take as a happy man looking in from the outside.

-Out of the Wilderness

 

“City Strong” is so overused

I don’t want to be insensitive about issues that ignite these social movements and to be perfectly clear, I’m on the side of those that rally around cities under attack. It’s the marketing that bothers me. It seems like every city is quick to adopt the “_______ Strong” mantra and I liked it at first. But now it just seems lazy. I don’t mean the people that are fighting for unity in any particular city, they’re not lazy because of this… it’s the people who pick this as the rally cry; they’re just phoning it in.

Let’s take Nashville, for instance. There was a tornado or two that came through town back in March and immediately we took to the “Nashville Strong” banner. Again, I get what it’s used for and I support the idea of banding together to help one another, but can’t someone somewhere, as creative as this city is, come up with anything else at all that’s original? Here are some ideas off the top of my head:

Nashville Unified

Nashville in Harmony

Let’s ‘band’ together, Nashville

Nashville ‘bands’ together

Nashville knows how to duet

Nashville Tough

Stay Tough, Nashville

Nashville in One a-chord

Those are just a few examples of how one city can band together around a rally phrase that fits the city more than a generic “________ Strong.” It can’t be that difficult for each city to come up with something original, I’m sure. What are your thoughts on this? Have you come up with a few for Nashville, or the city you live in? Chime in below!

Thanks for stopping by and hey, y’all, stay strong 😉

-Out of the Wilderness

Why do hackers send fake Facebook friend requests?

Why do hackers send Facebook friend requests? This question crossed my mind the other day and I chuckled at how friendly and harmless their attacks are. I wondered why they do something so benign. It doesn’t come across aggressive, mean, or evil. Then it hit me: that’s why they do it! Something that seems harmless is their way to steal data… I guess. 

Honestly, I get more messages from the real friends that say “please don’t accept any friend requests from me, I’ve been hacked” than I get the actual fake requests. 

Does anyone know why hackers go about it this way? Even if we were to accept these requests, what info do they get? It seems like they might get an email address, maybe a birthday date. Is it really worth their while to go about it in such a mild manner? 

-Out of the Wilderness

High-waisted pants for women, but why?

I don’t know if Taylor Swift deserves the full blame for this, but somewhere in my subconscious there’s an image of Taylor in high-waisted shorts (or high-rise, if that’s the proper term for them), and ever since she wore them in public women everywhere have been wearing them in public.

photo of woman in white off shoulder top and blue denim shorts standing by the beach
Photo by Emir Kaan Okutan on Pexels.com

Then somewhere along the way I heard that women don’t wear clothes to impress men, they wear clothes to impress other women. For my own sanity, I must think this high-waisted nonsense is a great example because they’re just so unattractive to me as a straight, woman-loving man.

Any guy that says he loves the style is one of two things: lying or gay.

I guess you should take this post not as a judgement of a trend that absolutely is evil and must be destroyed, but as a two-way discussion where even when the discussion is over I’ll still hate the high-waisted pants.

Men reading this, what are your thoughts? Women, please chime in with your thoughts, as well! While I most likely won’t be convinced that anyone looks good in these, I’m open to a discussion where it will end with me still hating the high-waisted pants.

Thanks for stopping by!

-Out of the Wilderness

Returning home from vacation is sometimes annoying, OK more than sometimes

I was recently in north Florida for an annual family reunion and every year it’s amazing. We meet at a beach on the Gulf Coast to enjoy things like food, water sports, games, movies, conversations, and so much more. This particular week seemed to fly by and in fact, I can’t believe it’s already been a few days since the last day of that vacation. I know they say time flies when you’re having fun but seriously, it didn’t just fly by, it broke the sound barrier! There’s another popular quote about vacations: I need a vacation from my vacation. This is sometimes true for a lot of us, I’m sure, but when I return to Nashville from these Florida vacations, life slows down quite a bit mostly because I leave a house of 16 people and 6 dogs arriving to a house with 1 person and 2 dogs. Naturally there is a lot less activity.

P1030108

My house is still “under the weather” because of a storm that came through town last month. From that storm, I was in need of a new A/C unit, backyard fence, and a roof. So yeah, just little details 😉

The A/C unit was replaced the day after I returned from vacation so now I’m focusing on the other 2 areas that need attention. I went from wakeboarding, skiing, fishing, and playing on the beach to phone calls, meetings, estimates, and loud noises under and around my house.

So I guess it’s no surprise that transitioning back to real life can be annoying. While I did do some work during the vacation, responsibilities have ramped back up to regular adult levels since returning home. I guess that’s the struggle, isn’t it? It’s also why vacations are part of our lives. We need time away from our usual schedules to just relax, enjoy time with family or friends, and give our bodies and minds a break from our routine existence. Although, I’ll admit I love my routine existence. 🙂

Anyway, I’m back from Florida after having an amazing week with my family. I’ve already put up a few posts about the trip like this one and this one, but be on the lookout for more in the coming days!

-Out of the Wilderness