Since I Have You: A Poem

piperThere’s not much about you I don’t like,
you’re the coolest gal around.
Even when I lose you in the night,
as you chase a rabbit your nose found.

I know you’re needy,
but that’s not bad.
You could be greedy,
or have issues with your dad.

I know you’re not a gold-digger.
You’re more of a mole-digger.
Because the yard is full of holes with no gold.
But also no moles.

And I don’t mind that you don’t shave,
or that all four of your armpits have hair.
Or that you have hair all over your face,
and legs, and feet, and everywhere.

It could be worse,
like if I brought home your sister and you said you hate her.
Then went on to say every taboo curse,
and confessed that you’re a Gator.

I love you but I’d give you away.
It’s not illegal,
but you see, my darling beagle,
There are just certain things we don’t say.

One is anything good about the Gators,
Or the SEC, but we can get into that later.

Now I don’t know if you know this yet,
but your ears are pretty big.
All the better for hearing my pet,
I mean, would you rather be a pig?

I wonder if you could speak,
what you’d tell me when you bark.
I hope it would be,
“I love you with all my beagle heart!”

And I would say, “I love you, too, Piper!”

Snow day: Piper and I

me and Piper, 2010


Personalities: The Weird Guy

Girls are uncomfortable around him because he’s either asked three or more of them out on a date, or one of them more than three times. That or he uses his eyes when he should be using his words, ie. he’s staring.

The reason I labeled this “The Weird Guy” is because in my conversations with girls, the title is very common, and widely understood as to what it means. Among my guy friends, we rarely, if ever, call a girl weird. So when these characteristics fit members of the female gender, they’d be labeled differently. If I were to ask my guy friends who they think a weird girl is, they’d suggest people like Lady GaGa, Michelle (from the Brad Womack season of the Bachelor) or Tori Spelling as Violet on Saved By The Bell. Odd certainly, but not creepy or uncomfortable (jury’s still out on Michelle here), ie. what a girl means when she calls a guy weird. In fact, she’s using “weird” to sum up a longer sentiment: “That guy has problems! I never want to be alone with him because he’s all kinds of creepy.” See how the word “weird” is easier to use? During my senior year of college, a “weird” guy came onto the scene among my friends. I was unfortunately talked into the middle of a little situation. He found one of my friends attractive and came to me asking about her. Perhaps I should’ve lied and said she was a gold digger, immature or married because the next thing I knew he asked her out. Bad got worse when she came to me asking about him! Not good. The end result was that she found out he was one of the weird ones. Guys like this get a bad wrap because somewhere along the way they missed the lessons on people skills, what to say, what not to say and when not to say it. Into adulthood their dating relationships (or lack of) pay the price of the social uneducation of their youth. With all the discomfort these characters may bring to an environment, they do also have some qualities, qualities that are admirable and even sought after. “The Weird Guy” is ambitious. He sees something, or someone, he wants and goes for it. Secondly, he takes rejection well.

“The Weird Guy” can be a Jekyll & Hyde of sorts, possibly doubling as “The Sattelite” or even “The Dark Horse.”