Washington, D.C. — A few days into his last term as President, Joe Biden has released the White House physician who’s served under both Obama and Trump. To make things official this morning, the newly elected President set up a virtual press conference where he announced who will take over this important position.
“Laughter is the best medicine, right,” Joe quipped, “so today I’m promoting one of my favorite experts in the medical field, Dr. Seuss.” His announcement was met with a roar of applause, many members of the press repeatedly pressing the ‘like’ button and openly weeping with joy.
Greg Thornberg of ABC News aptly said, “When we were sick as children, wasn’t it Dr. Seuss we all turned to?” This sentiment is being echoed by Democrat voters all over the nation who aren’t yet ready to admit they’ve made a colossal mistake. Others have pointed out there is a kindred spirit between the two: they’re both prone to making up words– one for children’s books, the other for debates and speeches.
Republicans, as a party, haven’t released an official statement, reportedly waiting to make sure they’re not part of a stunt from the TV show “What Would You Do?” hosted by John Quiñones.
Meanwhile, pictures have emerged of giddy Democrats in Congress huddled in circles quizzing each other on the 25th Amendment.
-Out of the Wilderness