Christmas in Los Angeles? No Thanks!

I’ve been to Los Angeles a handful of times, mostly for work before I was laid off in epic fashion about 8 years ago. This legendary city fits in one main category: Cities I visit but would never live in. I’m thinking of other cities like New York, Miami, Seattle, and the newest addition– Nashville. Ok, yes I lived in Nashville for 16 years but got out probably 5 years later than I should have. It’s a zoo, people. Just visit but think twice about moving there… that is, unless you like gridlock traffic almost all day. If you feel like throwing caution to the wind, though, hire my friend Jonathan Mills as your Nashville realtor. He’ll make sure you don’t get completely bamboozled.

I promise this is a post about Christmas. I guess it’s time to talk about it. THE BEST SAD CHRISTMAS SONG I’VE EVER HEARD. Starting this post off writing about Los Angeles wasn’t an accident. The Christmas song is called “Christmas in L.A.” and I stumbled upon it while I was making a list of sad Christmas songs. I think the reason even a sad song can become a Christmas classic during the happiest time of year is because sometimes those tunes capture the mood more than the cheery ones we all sing along with. Life is messy, even during the Christmas season. I can’t believe this song is 10 years old and I’m just hearing it for the first time in 2023. It’s from The Killers with guest band Dawes and even if you don’t like being sad this time of year, how about the harmonies and the melody in the music? The smooth strum of the guitar, the support of violins and a piano. I could even listen to this without lyrics and love it almost as much. But I can’t get over Brandon Flowers’ voice (The Killers) and Taylor Goldsmith’s, too (Dawes). If you have some time, listen to these 3 different takes on “Christmas In L.A.” and let me know your thoughts in the comments below! First up is the official music video…

Live backstage somewhere.

Live on stage somewhere.

Merry Christmas.

-Out of the Wilderness

The Suchard Brand Chocolate Commercial That Sweetens Our Hearts This Christmas

Hola! Cómo está? Muy bien! Sometimes you don’t need to know what’s being said to know what’s being said. I’m sort of talking about films and short videos that might not have any talking at all. The one that comes to mind right off the bat is Disney’s Lava. It was clear this was a love story between two volcanoes. I can’t believe I just wrote that. Volcanes in love? Really!? Well, whatever. I might have choked up the first time I saw these two love lavabirds together.

Get read for another heartwarming clip but this time it isn’t two volcanoes. These grandparents might be ancient like volcanoes, but their love for their family is as hot as lava. hace calor! Take a look at the Christmas commercial from Suchard over in Spain…

The transitions going back in time were very creative and clever but what really got to me was the pup. Looks like a pug, and how they give him reverence in the commercial is so touching. Dogs are often cherished in families (healthy families, at least!) and this ad shows that very well. It’s a sentiment shared in these commercials also…

Apple iPhone 14 Three-Legged Dog Commercial

DoorDash Dash Pass Commercial – The Bassett Hound

KIA Robo-Dog Commercial

I can’t say what traditions people in Spain have around Christmas but over here in the States, leaving Santa chocolate isn’t common. Neither is leaving Frito Lay chips out for the big guy, but this ad wants to change that. I guess, though, eating chocolate around the holidays is not out of the ordinary. And maybe chips are popular for New Year’s Eve parties.

Either way, dogs are awesome and I love the animated commercial from Suchard!

-Out of the Wilderness

Instacart Commercial – What’s Up With Those Ridiculous Puffy Coats?

I’m triggered. We shouldn’t be doing two things at once, no matter what Travis Kelce says in the Pfizer commercial. Instacart gives us exhibit A with their football game and grocery store ad. “I always have great cell coverage at football games,” said no one ever. Even if you have some reception, are you really going on Instacart to order groceries? Get real, puffy coat dad.

Now to clarify, there are at least two versions of this Instacart commercial. In one, and I’m sorry for this, there’s a horrendous song that goes along with it. Watch that one here and again, listen at your own peril. It’s bad. The other version doesn’t include the song, but still has these peculiar puffy coats worn only by the dad and the son.

Who can explain these coats without including George Costanza from “Seinfeld”?

via The Wall Street Journal

There IS such thing as too puffy. Unless you’re Sean Combs. Or a magic dragon. Or a big bad wolf. The father and son are the only people wearing these abnormally thick jackets. Everyone sitting around them has normal, socially acceptable jackets and warm-weather outerwear. So why are they wearing these extra puffy puffer coats?

I haven’t found an answer except that they must be “Seinfeld” fans.

-Out of the Wilderness

Florida State Football – From A Backpack to Back On Top

Lots of people are cursing the College Football Playoff Committee, ESPN, Kirk Herbstreet, and whoever else has any responsibility for how the playoffs were fumbled, pardon the pun, this year. The top 4 teams, actually I should say it this way– the 4 teams invited to the playoffs are Michigan, Washington, Texas, and Alabama. I won’t ask how a team ranked 8th somehow propelled up to #4 and the #4 team which won their conference championship and is 1 of 3 undefeated teams in the top 10 dropped to #5 because the answer is undefinable.

There is plenty of unfairness in football. Even on a play by play basis, referees miss calls or make bad calls, players get away with skirting the rules, coaches too (*ahem* Michigan), but it’s just a real shame when the dollar holds more power than fairness. Some call snubbing FSU and UGA a mistake but that word– mistake– implies it was almost accidental. This exclusion was a conscious choice and makes it something way beyond a mistake… it’s practically sinister.

The anger felt by a lot of people is the same way, almost exactly, that I felt when FSU blindsided loyal fans with a venture co-managed by Nike, changing the decades-old logo because that’s what Nike wanted. Was it coincidence that this happened at the height of FSU’s relevance and popularity in the mid-2010s, right after winning the national championship? A new logo meant fans spending oodles and oodles of money but why didn’t they change the logo when FSU’s football team only had 7 wins and 4 losses? What a weird coincidence that the team was coming off a national championship and this huge change happened. The university’s and Nike’s greed was exposed and I haven’t forgiven them for it. Is it another weird coincidence that FSU is having a historic season and now the stadium is about to get an overhaul with the seating, and prices have gone up thousands for season ticket holders?

Obviously I’m still hurt and ticked off. But it has nothing to the guys on the football team this year. I hate that their season is ending in controversy because in the simplest terms: it’s not fair. Maybe it’s a great life lesson but they have the rest of their lives to learn lessons like that. For this moment, what they earned and deserved was stolen and given to a team that didn’t deserve or earn it.

They did everything they could do to make it to the college football playoffs but came up a bit short… by… winning all their games and winning their conference championship. If only they could’ve… won all their games and won their conference champ– wait, this is bizarre. Controversy aside, going 13-0 is so much better than where they were just a few years ago. Remember the “turnover backpack”?

For new FSU fans or anyone just getting into college sports, this backpack was a real thing. If it’s possible to somehow make it less embarrassing, many teams had some sort of gimmick that (I think) started with the University of Miami having a “turnover chain.”

The turnover backpack is one of the worst things FSU has contributed to college football. But now the committee has done something even more embarrassing which will hurt college football for years, possibly decades. But the silver lining is that at least there hasn’t been a turnover backpack seen on the FSU sideline in years.

-Out of the Wilderness

Her favorite number is 13… but not because of Dan Marino!?

Taylor Swift is celebrating her 34th birthday today. With a worldwide tour, a new boyfriend, and covering Time Magazine as “person of the year,” not much is going wrong for the artist formerly known as a country artist. She was born on December 13, 1989, henceforth why her favorite number is 13. I still secretly hope it’s because she loves Dan Marino. I can’t fathom any other reason better than the iconic 13 on that Dolphins jersey.

Dan Marino, if you’re reading this, I love you.

Sharing the Christmas season with a birthday season is something I can relate to. The lights, decorations, giving presents, time with family, all add up to a special part of the year and having a birthday, too, makes it even more special. Did I mention this is my birthday month?

I don’t share December with Taylor, she shares it with me! *In my best Joe Keery Taco Bell delivery* But seriously, there are people who love Taylor, as we all know. There are also people that don’t understand her popularity. But no matter how you feel about her, remember this about Taylor Swift: it’s my birthday month, too. Have I said that yet? Plus, unlike SOMEONE we know, I won’t ruin football by dating a cheerleader from your favorite team! I’m not saying there’s a Taylor Swift curse on the Kansas City Chiefs but I’m also NOT saying they’re ISN’T a Taylor Swift curse. Since Taylor started dating Travis Kelce, the team is kinda falling apart. Come to your own conclusion.

Is the team distracted? Maybe Mahomes is jealous of Kelce being in more commercials than Shaquille O’Neal, who’s in 8 out of every 5 commercials on prime time TV? If the Chiefs are eyeing the playoffs, Kelce may want to think about tanking his relationship… and soon. The silver lining is that it’ll give Taylor something to write about. Also…

I was born in December.

-Out of the Wilderness