But deep down we know Megan Rapinoe isn’t going away

Is anybody else tired of talking about Megan Rapinoe? I’m officially retiring the subject… after this post, of course. Maybe I should’ve retired the subject a long time ago, just like Rapinoe retiring from soccer a few years too late. I’m not saying she cost the U.S. the World Cup title, but I’m also not saying she didn’t cost the U.S. the World Cup title. It was like 11 v 10 every time she was on the field. Just terrible. From the evidence in the U.S.’s 4 games, it’s clear she should’ve stepped away from the game before the tournament, but that’s all history now. We can now leave Rapinoe in the past… or can we?

A dog returns to its vomit. Proverbs gives us such a great metaphor with this verse. Except this time, the vomit (Rapinoe) is returning to the dog (soccer fans). In other words, she ain’t going anywhere. Like a spider in your car that you’re absolutely sure you swooshed out. You didn’t actually see it on the ground but you can’t find it in the car after frantically brushing it from the floorboard out of the open door on the driver’s side. It’s gone, you’re sure of it. And you gotta get to work so you close the door, buckle up, and get on the highway. Sudden consternation when you feel the spider CRAWLING ON YOUR NECK WITH IT’S BIG BODY AND A HUNDRED LEGS!!!

This is Rapinoe.

You’re visiting a beach for the first time in your life. You set up your chair, umbrella, spread your towel on the sand. Waves steadily crashing on the shore. A few hours later you observe the weirdest thing. There’s a whole bunch more sand on the beach. The water has receded and it boggles your mind. You concede, “This is how it is now.” The thing is, you’ve never heard of tides and what you’re seeing is just low tide. You think all that water that just went away is the new normal.

This is Rapinoe.

Narcissists who love the spotlight find a way to stay in it. I predict she’ll end up being a commentator for the Olympics or the World Cup or women’s professional soccer. She’s a legend, after all, right? So don’t be surprised if she pops on your TV and you know what, be grateful you sexist, bigot!

She’s the vomit. She’s a spider. She’s the tide. Those things are as constant as the sun is bright. We haven’t seen the last of Megan Rapinoe and the popularity of women’s soccer will suffer for it.

-Out of the Wilderness

Is Barack Obama Gay, Pansexual, or Neither?

You know how people are gay sometimes? Well, I’m not saying Barack Obama is… but he dresses well and he’s got a lot of female friends. You do the math. Either way, conspiracy theorists who think his wife Michelle is a man are going to have a field day with info that just “came out” about Barack.

Rumor Has It. All kidding aside, the rumor mill is going full-tilt after the Obamas chef woke up dead the other day. Of course, a high profile family like Barack and Michelle will be in the news if someone just sneezes awkwardly in their presence but when someone dies, that’s definitely going to make the news even if neither Obama had anything to do with it… allegedly.

Why is the chef’s passing significant? Well, almost simultaneously, there was news about Barack’s romantic history with men.

Cloudy With A Chance of Men. News flash, he doesn’t really have any public history with men in a romantic sense. But a piece of info was revealed recently that a former girlfriend allegedly received a love letter from Barack back in his college days. Allegedly, he wrote about wanting to be romantic with men. Barack wasn’t our first black president, but could he have been our first gay president without us even knowing it? If that love letter is genuine, I actually applaud Obama for showing restraint. Especially as part of a party that says embrace all of your deepest desires. Perhaps he had goals and things he wanted to achieve (like being president one day), and he thought indulging in any type of homosexual behavior might jeopardize that for him.

Yes, Chef. Conspiracy theorists question that if the Obama’s personal chef is/was spending a lot of time with the lovebirds, how much did he know about their comings and goings? Did he see or hear something he shouldn’t have? It’s a far-fetched idea and if they were going to eliminate him because he knew too much, I have serious doubts they’d concoct a story about something as fun, and by all means safe, as paddleboarding. Maybe they should’ve taken some creative notes from this Train song.

Don We Now Our Gay Apparel. Since Barack had a girlfriend at the time, the new info would mean less that he was gay and more that he was bisexual in a time of American history where bisexual was very taboo, especially for men. Kind of like current news about comedian Wayne Brady. In the most interesting news since your neighbor’s colonoscopy, Wayne Brady announced he’s pansexual. Which means, let’s just be honest, he’s into dudes. B-List celebrities coming out as gay, bi, pan, trans, poly, non-binary in 2023 is like telling us what your favorite color of backsplash is in a kitchen you’re remodeling. It’s boring but people are usually nice enough not to tell you how much they don’t care. You’re an adult, Mr. Brady, do what you want. We don’t really need to know about it, right? Like the “Stranger Things” actor who recently said he’s gay. Umm, OK, thanks for the info, I guess?

True Colors. Entertainment celebrities declaring their sexual preferences is one thing, but a (current or) former president hiding or possibly being someone we didn’t think they were is pretty relevant. If Barack were to just address this love letter situation one way or the other, it would headline the news for about 5 minutes until the next ludicrous thing came along. That’s kind of what the truth does. It deflates anything that isn’t the truth. Imagine, though, having Barack as the poster child for your progressive movement (if news broke that he STILL was interested in men)? Barack riding on a pride parade float down the streets of Los Angeles next year would have people across the whole spectrum of genders (I know, there’re only two) openly weeping between twerking sessions and naked bike riding.

It would be a whole thing.

Tell Me Why? In 2023 America, coming out as gay, pansexual, bisexual, trans, or whatever else has been invented this week is one of the most brave things you can do, according to liberals everywhere. It really just looks like a cry for publicity. If you really want to make waves, come out as a straight man who believes there are two genders and see how your name gets smeared. The horror.

-Out of the Wilderness

Face to face with dangerous wildlife in Florida

Gosh, that’s the longest title I’ve ever come up with, I think! But you probably want me to get right to the point, huh? Well, I was camping in a state park in central Florida (pictures here and here) and I was eager to see the wildlife. Allegedly there were bison, wild horses, and alligators (of course) in this park and I wanted to photograph them all.

In the park there was a high tower where folks could climb up to see the wildlife (the bison, the horses, the alligators). I climbed up it. I didn’t see the bison. I didn’t see an alligator. I saw a few horses a long way off. Saw a few deer. It was nice.

The next part of the story is where it gets a little dicey.

I walked into a prairie area and from a lot of rain, it was flooded, I guess. I really wanted to walk out to the middle of the prairie so I walked through knee-high water in my ankle-high boots. On the way, I saw this…

This is where I should’ve turned around. This is where a mature person would’ve turned around. This is where a dummy could’ve turned around. I kept going, always searching for the next picture. Thankfully nothing catastrophic happened but as I was returning down this same path, the gator had moved. I snapped a few more pics and then it thrashed out of sight in the blink of an eye.

I’m so dumb. That gator could’ve done almost anything and I was a sitting duck. Not even to mention the snakes that could’ve been swimming through the grassy waters.

-Out of the Wilderness

5 Country Covers in 2023 that aren’t by Luke Combs

You’ve probably heard of the success Luke Combs is having with his cover of Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car,” but did you know there are other country covers released in 2023, also? I came across the first song on this list and had no idea the original was old enough to be covered already! 🙃 Kind of like all those Spider Man movies that keep getting remade every other year, I guess there really isn’t a time limit on covering this song or that one. So first up on the list is an early Tim McGraw song. Brett Young’s fans are already loving this one, it’s “Don’t Take the Girl.”

Age is just a number as country icon Shania Twain covers a song by a very popular artist nearly half her age. It’s Harry Styles’ 2019 song “Falling.”

Sarah Darling covers a song that’s older than she is. Released in 1980, it’s Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds.”

A song from many decades ago, it’s Zac Brown Band covering “Paint It Black” by Rolling Stones, who released it in the late 1960s.

Last on the list and one of the oldest songs to be covered (also from the 1960s), it’s “Summertime” by Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong. Here’s the 2023 cover from Amanda Shires & Bobbie Nelson (featuring Willie Nelson).

Are there other 2023 country covers you would add to the list? Comment below, I always love checking out covers of great songs. See y’all tomorrow…

-Out of the Wilderness

In spite of Pearl Harbor, it’s Japan

I’ve watched the movie Pearl Harbor starring Ben Affleck, Josh Hartnett, and my celebrity crush Kate Beckinsale. Soundtrack, amazing. Cinematography, incredible. Japan was pretty annoying in that movie with the whole inconvenient bombing thing, but you know what, I’m still picking them as my favorite to win the women’s World Cup this year. I just can’t hold World War II against these ladies, I’m sorry!

Now that the U.S. women’s team is out (thanks to Sweden, and seriously… thanks), I will be rooting FOR Japan, instead of AGAINST the United States. Oh, don’t judge me! Half of America was hoping they lost, not because we dislike our own country but because one or a few of the players soured everything. No joy. No excitement. Just blue hair.

Let’s go, Japan! Also, if you’re reading this Kate, I’m still available. 😉

-Out of the Wilderness