Personalities: The Weird Guy

Girls are uncomfortable around him because he’s either asked three or more of them out on a date, or one of them more than three times. That or he uses his eyes when he should be using his words, ie. he’s staring.

The reason I labeled this “The Weird Guy” is because in my conversations with girls, the title is very common, and widely understood as to what it means. Among my guy friends, we rarely, if ever, call a girl weird. So when these characteristics fit members of the female gender, they’d be labeled differently. If I were to ask my guy friends who they think a weird girl is, they’d suggest people like Lady GaGa, Michelle (from the Brad Womack season of the Bachelor) or Tori Spelling as Violet on Saved By The Bell. Odd certainly, but not creepy or uncomfortable (jury’s still out on Michelle here), ie. what a girl means when she calls a guy weird. In fact, she’s using “weird” to sum up a longer sentiment: “That guy has problems! I never want to be alone with him because he’s all kinds of creepy.” See how the word “weird” is easier to use? During my senior year of college, a “weird” guy came onto the scene among my friends. I was unfortunately talked into the middle of a little situation. He found one of my friends attractive and came to me asking about her. Perhaps I should’ve lied and said she was a gold digger, immature or married because the next thing I knew he asked her out. Bad got worse when she came to me asking about him! Not good. The end result was that she found out he was one of the weird ones. Guys like this get a bad wrap because somewhere along the way they missed the lessons on people skills, what to say, what not to say and when not to say it. Into adulthood their dating relationships (or lack of) pay the price of the social uneducation of their youth. With all the discomfort these characters may bring to an environment, they do also have some qualities, qualities that are admirable and even sought after. “The Weird Guy” is ambitious. He sees something, or someone, he wants and goes for it. Secondly, he takes rejection well.

“The Weird Guy” can be a Jekyll & Hyde of sorts, possibly doubling as “The Sattelite” or even “The Dark Horse.”

Personalities: Introduction

On a recent post, I listed nine personality types (see An Unschooled Look Into Personalities). I’m sure there are more, but in my stages of life I’ve noted that these stand out the most. Whether it was in college, as a recent graduate, or a working professional, each stage of life and new set of friends have included these dynamic people. In the original post I included a quick description of each, but I’d like to dive further into each. If you would indulge me, you can follow along with this series entitled “Personalities.”

First up, “The Weird Guy.”

 

On A Flight To Las Vegas

High above the clouds I saw the mounds of dirt.
I fly from a city of sound to a city of lights.
Stay up all night, lose a lot.
Keep playing try to make it right.
My eyes see many but I feel lonely with many people that barely know me.

A city that, by day, seems ok but at night changes sight.
People hungry and trying to satisfy that with whatever they might find to fill it.

I find myself at least willing to relate,
‘Cause I see in me some size and shape of an empty space.
That I try to fill with whatever I might find to fill that place.

I confess to God if he hears that I fail to follow through on what I’d like to do,
what’s right to do and if he’d speak to me, I’m all ears.
Have been for years, to the point of tears.
Not knowing what he wants or what he thinks or if he knows my fears.

I confess I need him.
On my knees again.
I trust no one to understand where my heart is or where it’s been.

Up in the sky I see him.
I look at the earth and know it’s him.
I know he’s around even without sound.
My eyes see and I don’t feel so lonely anymore.

He desires a better life than I choose for myself for me.
But I constantly choose to live selfishly.
I choose the chains the keep me from being free.
I choose to take what I can have right now.
But higher than the clouds, it’s different here.
I want to stay soaring above, I am in his love.
My eyes, mind and heart are clear.
Evil no where near.

So I gain the confidence to take on what waits for me when the plane brakes.
So goodbye clouds, goodbye easy.
If I have to, God, give me the strength to land, to get off this plane.
To hold your hand and hide in your name.

I now face the world on it’s level.
No longer too high. Evil points to me as a bullseye.
But it’s on my back ‘cause I’m facing one direction.
And I choose to move.
Forward.

An Unschooled Look Into Personalities

I stumbled across an email I sent to a friend of mine in 2005 (Yahoo! saves sent messages). When I saw his name again, I was reminded of a social phenomenon. In each group of friends I’ve been in, there’s always “the weird guy.” In 2005 I was living in Tallahassee, FL after graduating college. The friends I spent the majority of time with were the inner circle. Then the outer circle. Then the sattelites. The “weird guy” could infiltrate any of these levels. I began to think about who else was in these groups. I came up with some labels.

“The Weird Guy”: Girls are uncomfortable around him because he’s either asked three or more of them out on a date, or one of them more than three times. That or he uses his eyes when he should be using his words, ie. he’s staring.

“Indiana Jones of the South(west Airlines)”: The friend that’s in town one weekend and out the next. This guy/girl is a bit mysterious, and is attractive to the opposite sex because of their adventurous nature and limited availability.

“The Party”: In a make or break scenario, this person always makes. When they arrive, the party starts.

“The Thinker”: Who you go to when you need someone wiser than yourself.

“The Satellite”: Whether you know it or not, and whether you like it or not, they’re always hovering around.

“The Dark Horse”: Quietly munching on carrots in the back of the super bowl party, he/she is mysterious, but funny when it counts, and lends a hand when needed.

“The Database”: Full of knowledge on many subjects.

“Captains of IMDb”: The person that quotes well-known movie lines and some abstract quotes only other “Captains” would know.

“Justin Texterlake”: The cool guy that texts all the time. He’ll text you when he’s with other people, and text other people when he’s with you.

Deal Breakers in a Dating Relationship

Everyone seems to have their deal-breakers. I never really thought about mine until the term “deal-breakers” became popular a few years ago. Typically I stay away from trendy words or phrases because they annoy me. Anyone remember the book, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye“? When I was in college that book had it’s fifteen minutes of fame, but not with me. I always joked about it, something like this, “Oh, you kissed dating goodbye? Well, I kissed dating!” Ok, it’s probably a good book with valuable information that will keep the reader from heartache and miscommunication with the opposite sex, but as 1990s rock group DC Talk sang, “Some people gotta learn the hard way.” To be clear about what image I’m projecting of myself in college, I didn’t date much at all. Mainly because I did stuff like this:

wanted to date and learn the hard way, and sadly, in some cases I did. However, with the experiences and failed attempts at long relationships, I learned what I liked. I also learned what I didn’t like, which would later become my deal-breakers. Early on in college I created of list of things I wanted (deal-makers, perhaps?) in an ideal mate. Things like a goofy sense of humor, enjoying but not understanding sports,a dog lover, a healthy disregard for cats and the Florida Gators, on and on the list went. I was very specific in what I was looking for and what I knew I wanted. Probably too specific because now, as a thirty-one year old adult male, my list has shrunk to a few general yet more absolute characteristics. It’s also easier now to narrow down the potential field using the list of deal-breakers rather than the deal-makers. What I mean is this: instead of finding what I want to live with, it’s easier to eliminate the ones who have what I cannot live with.