Spray Now or Forever Hold Your Pee

I’ve been hearing chatter about an upcoming toilet paper shortage. I thought these days were past us, people! Good thing today’s post will wipe the slate clean by flushing your fears and giving you a fresh feeling of happiness. I’m declaring from the porcelain throne that now is the time to take the plunge, makeContinue reading “Spray Now or Forever Hold Your Pee”

When the “roll” is called up yonder

When the rollllll is called up yonder, I’ll be fine. Folks, I was half of a toilet paper roll away from having a new normal when I use the restroom. I was even regretting that I didn’t take the opportunity to steal from my sister! STEALING TOILET PAPER!!! Each time I went to any storeContinue reading “When the “roll” is called up yonder”

Every day that goes by…

…I wish I would’ve stolen the toilet paper my sister had sitting on the hood of her car for days. It’s like she was taunting anyone who was running low. Like… “Try me. Come and get it, punks! I dare you.” I may just have to start wiping with dollar bills, quarters would hurt. -OutContinue reading “Every day that goes by…”

I leave the toilet seat up, and she hates it

I thought today was a good day to come clean about my stereotypical male behavior. After I use the restroom, I do not, I repeat… I DO NOT put the toilet set down when I leave. Does that make me a horrible person? So sue me! But I’ve learned the hard way that this socialContinue reading “I leave the toilet seat up, and she hates it”

You know it’s time to go to the store when…

I was recently reminded that I needed to make a special trip to the store. What for? Well, I’ll just say this… you know it’s time to go to the store when all you have left are Dude Wipes.*  -Out of the Wilderness *As an Amazon Associate, I earn a portion of any transaction madeContinue reading “You know it’s time to go to the store when…”