When the “roll” is called up yonder

When the rollllll is called up yonder, I’ll be fine. Folks, I was half of a toilet paper roll away from having a new normal when I use the restroom. I was even regretting that I didn’t take the opportunity to steal from my sister! STEALING TOILET PAPER!!! Each time I went to any store (Kroger, Dollar General, Sam’s Club, etc), the two-ply tissue worth it’s weight in gold was nowhere to be found. Shelves… empty. But Whole Foods came through for the win. My heart thanks you, and my tooshy thanks you, too!

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-Out of the Wilderness