Out of the Wilderness

Being single at 38 years old

NOTE: This was originally written last spring but I recently decided to go ahead and share it. Life in and out of the dating world can be a roller coaster emotionally. Count the following as a moment of bare honesty on my roller coastery journey.

I’m not exactly sure where this post will go, but I wanted to write down thoughts I’ve been having as a single guy at my old age. Old! That’s how I feel some days. Usually that sensation comes over me the night of, or the morning after, playing basketball or volleyball. I move a little slower, I groan a little more, I tighten my bathrobe a little more snugly around me. I’m pretty happy with where my life is, with what I’m doing, and the friends I spend time with. Is this where I thought I’d be at 38? The truth is, I don’t ever remember thinking about where I’d be at 30 or 40. And even though I feel old sometimes, I feel really good other times.

I also think I’m past the question, “Why aren’t you married yet?” …because I haven’t been asked it in ages. The answer is always the same: haven’t found the right one yet. That’s partly true. I’ve dated on and off for the past few years and I’ve been in the company of greatness. But for whatever reason the relationships fizzled and died, or never even really started. There have been a handful of dates that would have never happened, if I knew how they’d go. I’m thinking of one at Buffalo Wild Wings, or another attending a Ben Rector concert.

Disasters!

But truthfully, those, and other less memorable one-hit wonders, as in “I wonder why we are here, now, together,” have helped me get to where I am. A little more mature. A little more focused. A little less hopeful. Yes, I said less hopeful. It’s hard to keep hope alive all day every day.

In fact, I’d say it’s impossible.

In fact, stay away from people who are positive all the time, they’re hiding something!

In fact, you don’t want to be there when they explode.

I’ve gone through periods of great hope, great excitement. I want to be there again but I’m in a season of doubt right now. Doubt about marriage, doubt about even wanting to date. Because dating might lead to marriage, and I’m not even sure I want that. We’re taught through many ways that finding a partner will make life worthwhile, that you can be on top of the world like Jack and Rose if you find the other half of you. I don’t really believe that’s true. Life is worthwhile even without marriage. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

Do you want to know the thought on the forefront of my mind the past week or so? It’s this…

Who’s going to take care of me when I’m old?

My mind drifts to 50 years from now when one of my nieces is stuck with checking in on their cenile uncle. You know, the one who never got married and had all the goats? He keeps mumbling about wanting more tattoos but his whole body is covered.

OK, OK, sometimes I think I’ll get a few more tattoos, not all over my whole body, though! But that would be me: the crazy, single, never-married uncle who didn’t reach his potential as a husband or maybe even a dad.

People get married later in life. People get divorced later in life. People stay single their entire lives. So many different stories. I’m in the middle of mine, just wondering if a co-writer might come along who can help me, and let me help them, through the next few dozen chapters.

How “Never Ever” hooked me…

The other day it finally dawned on me why I really like the 57-second intro for this song from 1997. The worldwide hit by All Saints is called “Never Ever,” and I never ever put two and two together that the music underneath the spoken intro is “Amazing Grace”!

A completely intentional move on the part of the band, and a good one, I might add. They add a slight variation to the centuries old hymn, but there’s enough there that this old wily detective finally caught on, two decades later.

While researching this, I was surprised to discover “Amazing Grace” is originally the tune of a song called “New Britain.”

I also came across an article that explains in more detail how the band used AG in their song, but here’s a snippet:

A text within a text. “Never Ever” does have something special of this sort. In its harmony it explicitly refers to an old popular song, “Amazing Grace”, which has become part of our collective musical consciousness. In “Never Ever” the chords of the first four measures of this hymn are clearly audible behind the spoken intro, as they are accentuated by the piano accompaniment and the voices in the background. And the ghost of this song will stay there for the remainder of “Never Ever”. This overlay of songs turns the songlines of “Never Ever” into a text within a text.

-Out of the Wilderness

The time my dog ate my dinner

Piper There I was, relaxing and looking forward to a night in. Maybe turn on Netflix? Maybe check out some YouTube videos? It was shaping up to be a good night, that much was certain.

There it was, my dinner fresh out of the oven. This particular meal was veggie burgers, one of my favorites right now. I had set the baking sheet with the burgers on top of the stove, thinking, “This seems out of the dogs’ reach.” I stepped away for a second and lo and behold, Piper surprised me.

There she was, eating something off the kitchen floor. Had she managed to paw the veggie burgers off the stove? I knew she was food driven but this was quite a feat. I was resigned to the fact that my much-anticipated dinner was down the tubes. Or was it?

There they were, two beautiful 4-ounce Sweet Earth veggie patties still waiting to be arranged atop a ketchup-layered bun. But then what was Piper eating? This is where things went in a direction I did not see coming. It took a second for my mind to process that a treat I gave Piper earlier made her stomach upset which caused her to make them reappear on the kitchen floor, along with the doggy-doo she had just eaten from outside.

There it is, the full truth and nothing but the truth– and I’ve said it before— my dog eats her own poop. But now she’s taken it to a whole new level. Not only will she eat her own poo, she’ll also vomit it back up, and eat it again.

Here I am, writing about it because well, this is my life as a dog owner. But hey, I’m a dog owner that got to eat is awesome dinner that night, so there’s a silver lining for ya!

-Out of the Wilderness

Making a successful/viral video

There are many ways for a video to go viral, but I’d like to focus on one: The candid shot when something crazy happens. It’s not enough to show a clip of an alligator crossing a street. But a turtle riding on the alligator’s back while it crosses the street? Now you’ve got something. Take look at this clip…

A lot of the clips in the video above illustrate my theory that your candid shot has to have at least 2 elements for it to go viral:

The thing that may or may not be kinda cool on it’s own (i.e. a deer in the road)
The completely wild element that makes the clip bazaar and amazing (i.e. 2 deer fighting in the road)

As you come across clips on YouTube and other websites, examine if they have one or both of these elements. When you’re shooting video, be on the lookout for that special ingredient that’ll take your video from mundane and common to extraordinary and rare!

-Out of the Wilderness