Posting daily at 1pm central about all kinds of things. One day it's dating, the next it's TV commercials. I hope you're entertained. Professional photos on SmugMug – https://benwilder.smugmug.com
OK, my obsession with Dr. Mario is off the charts. Maybe because the temperature outside is too low to do anything useful so I’m inside more than usual? But just when I think I should seek help, I destroy another virus and my ranking goes up. And while I love Mario, I wouldn’t want him to be my doctor. Hello, he’s a plumber! I’d be sitting there like, “What are you gonna use the plunger for? I’m just here for a cold.” Uncomfortable much?
-Out of the Wilderness
Ok, technically my life with you sucks because you’re my vacuum and I love you. Those questionnaires, though, the ones that ask, “What will you be doing in 5 years? 10 years?” Never once did I answer that I’d be vacuuming my ceiling. But here I am. A 35-year old vacuuming the ceiling. So yes, my life sucks.
-Out of the Wilderness
Before reading, feel free to get caught up here: A Love Story Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, yes this is all made up so please don’t congratulate me but do feel free to send me a Home Depot gift card as a wedding gift.
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With the vows completed, I knew the moment was upon us. It’s funny, this part of the ceremony had me more nervous than the whole “till death separates us” part. It’s my father, anyway, that thought a fear of commitment was my problem. Turns out, he was partly right. I was afraid of committing myself to someone who was good. But now I’ve found great and with the smooth voice of Vince Gill, the guitar skills of John Mayer, and the certain come hither look of Johnny Depp, I began to sing. 
OK, that’s not completely true. My come hither look was more like Joey from Friends. But what was lost in talent was made up for in this being a surprise. That’s right. None but myself and a select few knew I was going to perform during the ceremony. Not even my soon-to-be wife knew. But hey, I love surprises. The idea came to me years earlier when a song grabbed me and didn’t let me go till I did something with it. The song was “All I Want Is You” and what I was doing with it was learning it on a borrowed guitar. No one in their right mind expected this from me because 1. I don’t play guitar, 2. I don’t sing, and 3. if I did either, it wouldn’t be front of an audience. But just after she finished her vows and the pastor prayed, I smiled and went to get the guitar. Forgetting that I was nervous, I looked towards the audience and shrugged my shoulders as if to say, “Here goes nothing.” Light chuckles from around the darkened room.
I tread my way through, rough but definitely sounding kind of, sort of, if you tilt your head a little, like the U2 song. After all, it’s not my talent or my desire to “make it big” driving me, it’s my heart. And to know this surprise might make her smile, that’s enough for me to say yes to doing something that terrified me. That smile, that smile is worth more than my comfort. I could barely look at her while I sang because I might forget the words, laugh, cry, or all three at the same time. But as I strummed the last note our eyes connected. That’s a moment I won’t soon forget. She looked so proud and happy. After setting the guitar back down, I joined her on stage, clasping her hands in mine. Meanwhile my brother made his way to the mic at the end of the stage. He read, “The Lord is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.” That’s a couple of verses from Psalm 145. Then her sister, a bridesmaid, approached the mic to sing her favorite hymn, “How Great Thou Art.”
At the time most couples would light a unity candle or pour colored sand into a jar, we opted to do both. We lit sand on fire and poured it in a jar. No, but that would’ve been cool, right? We brought bricks to each set of parents and had them signed. We told them that just like the 2 bricks will forever be part of our home one day, they will be, too. That was her idea and I loved it since day one. She was full of good ideas. I learned that as early as our first date.
Check back soon for A Love Story: Part Six, which will reveal more about our first date.
-Out of the Wilderness
Remember that song from an innocent little teeny bopper named Justin Bieber? It wasn’t that long ago, but my, my, my how he’s gone off the deep end. I hope he can get his act together but for now, for me and my household, it’s time to metaphorically remove him from the hard drive. And actually by metaphorically, I mean literally. I figured Hanson would, but I never, ever expected Nsync’s “Giddy Up” would last longer on my iPod. Crazy world.
-Out of the Wilderness
I had an unfortunate reason for driving down to Tallahassee, Florida last weekend. My grandfather passed away but you know, it wasn’t really a dose of bad luck like the word ‘unfortunate’ would lead you to believe. He was 91. He lived a long time and got to see the next 3 generations of Wilders. He was married for over 60 years and was a romantic even till the last moments. My dad told us how, the day before he died, Pop kept saying “I love you more than yesterday, but less than tomorrow.” That’s what he always told Mom Mom. He loved her. And not like the love that we often hear about today in the news and stuff. Here today and gone tomorrow. It was love, the kind that lasts through wars. Through distance. Through time. What an amazing privilege to not only see that, but be a result of that. He might be right in line with God on this one because in Psalms it says that God’s love endures forever. Seems like Pop’s love for Mom Mom was that kind of forever love.
So the whole weekend was more like a celebration of a long life, well lived. A lot of tears, but a celebration still. And if there is such a thing as luck, then I feel lucky, and always have, that Pop was my granddad. I remember in junior high feeling sorry for my friends because I had the best grandparents. It seemed unfair. It was a feeling of compassion for my friends, and excitement of being in the Wilder family. We are proud. And with Pop’s passing, I think our pride grew stronger, actually. I can speak for my brother and sisters, we are so proud to be Wilders.
While I was driving the 8-hour trip from Nashville, I thought about Pop, memories of Monticello, and growing up. Sometimes I couldn’t help but cry it out. I pretty much went straight to the hospital and had a chance to see and talk to Pop the day before he died. Sitting there with him and Mom Mom. Talking. Reading Isaiah 40. Crying (I thought I got all of that out in the car!). But these are memories I won’t soon forget.
Like the gigantic rainbow the morning after Pop died. The funny breakfast conversation with Mom Mom about relationships and breakups and her saying “Well, you know all about that.” Soccer in the park. A jungle gym pull-up contest with my brother and brother-in-law. Working on Pop’s memorial tribute video (and that’s Pop singing in the video!). Driving his truck. Seeing my oldest friends. Helping with the funeral program. Talking about our favorite Monticello memories, like getting our first beagle. My dad letting me have his warm Coast Guard jacket, which I already love. Peeing in the backyard at the same time as my brother-in-law and dogs, like the exact same time. The circus.
The kindness of friends and neighbors bringing over so much food. Regret of not spending the night with Mom Mom the night Pop died. My sister Shannon playing a verse of “I Have Decided To Follow Jesus” on the piano at the funeral. And the way she always sits up straight on the last note.
Realizing I’m not as good as Pop was. How proud Pop was of my dad, and my dad’s career in the Coast Guard. Pop’s awesome picture with Mom Mom on the beach (on the right). People commenting that I walk just like my dad. My new “2013 National Championship” hat. Taking Pop’s Epiphone guitar back to Nashville.
All of these things will be remembered. But even today, a week later, it doesn’t seem real.
“Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.”
Isaiah 40: 28-31
-Out of the Wilderness
Out of the Wilderness 