Out of the Wilderness

Thank a Veteran

There are a lot of things a young child will believe about their father simply because they don’t know any better. He can do nothing wrong, he’s a hero, he’s the strongest, the smartest and can beat up all your friends dads. I believed all those things about mine but now as an adult, I know better. And what I know is this: he was, and is, all those things and more!

He’s a great example of how to serve, to be humble, to work hard, to laugh, to have a soft heart, to compete, to not take the low road, to pay attention to details, to love, to give, to sacrifice, to love God and to love country.

Today, just like every other day, I’m thankful for his service to America. Not only did he single-handedly win the war for us in the Persian Gulf (he served as captain of a fleet of ships in Desert Storm), but he gave 26 years of his life to the Coast Guard. No one can argue that that’s not a man right there.

Having him in my life is enough… but I was also so lucky (I rather call it blessed) to have 2 grandfathers that also served and served in battle during World War II. Great men in the Wilder and Davis family, great men.

America is better because of their service to it. Plus, my dad really can beat up your dad.

-Out of the Wilderness

(Pop and Grand-Daddy below)

How my mom wakes up her adult (and vegan) son

I was in my hometown recently visiting family. Always a good time. Always. Except when my mom walks into the room where I’m sleeping and wakes me up to tell me about vitamins I should be taking. Then this… “I’m worried about you being a vaygan.” Yes, she pronounced it vay-gan. Do I like being woken up to life advice? No, not really. But it beats her tactics when I was in high school: turning on the light, turning off the fan.

So cruel.

-Out of the Wilderness

Front end car brake lights

I’m not shy about telling people I came up with the dual sliding doors for vans. It’s just that I was a little kid and didn’t know what to do with that idea. Well, here it is. My next big idea. It’s going to be a gigantic success as soon as people realize the need for it. Are you ready? You’re not ready. You can’t handle the truth. OK, here it is… brake lights on the front of cars. I know, right?

When I’m turning left and crossing oncoming traffic, it would be nice to see that the car barreling towards me at 50 mph is slowing down. Or if highway traffic in front of me is coming to a standstill, I can check the rear view to confirm the guy behind me is aware, and braking.

You heard it here first, folks!
-Out of the Wilderness

It’ll drive you out of your mind… poison!

I must have a sign on my forehead that says, “doesn’t have enough problems”… as if being short wasn’t enough! Yes, I wish I was a little bit taller, but I really, really wish I’d see poison ivy before I touch it. And then proceed to touch my ear. My eye. My other ear. But to be perfectly honest, I kind of think of it the same way I see sun tans (real ones, like, from the actual sun). A tan from the sun means your outside enjoying all outside has to offer. You get hot, you get sweaty, sometimes you get burned, but hey, you’re out there. You’re experiencing the marvelous wonder that is nature. Same with poison ivy. I was out there climbing through trees. I was helping my dogs track a mole. I was watching deer trot by. Given the opportunity to be outside on a nice day, don’t mind if I don’t!

Soon the itching will stop but one thing remains the same: cats really are the worst.

You can take the dog out of the wild, but…

We were walking, we were wagging our tails, everything was fine then BAM! I’m bleeding with poop in my hand.

How did we get there so fast, you ask? Well, it happens when you have dogs. I took Piper and Asia to a nearby greenway, one of my favorites because it runs along Mill Creek in south Nashville. About a half-mile in we left the pavement to go down to the creek. They were panting so this was a great opportunity for them to cool their little paws in the rocky rush of cool water. Totally would’ve been awesome had they not discovered something in the brush near the creek that day. I didn’t know what that something was but I could see they were both chewing it. I made haste to remove it from both their mouths, having to do a finger sweep on Piper before she ingested the substance. I usually can scare Asia enough to command obedience, but not Piper. When she’s in the wild, she’s a wolf in beagle clothing… a scavenger in every sense of the word. I say that to help paint a picture of me trying to remove what she was eating, and her actively resisting that idea altogether. She was consuming as much as my fingers would let slip by and in her haste, she bit down on my fingers, drawing blood. So now I’m faced with a cut finger that I’m about to rinse in an unsanitary creek. But that’s not even the worst part.

The worst part is I don’t think it was animal poop.

The moral of this story is cats still suck.

-Out of the Wilderness

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