CNN Hosts Debate on Phrases That Have a Lot of Vowels

New York City, NY — Hosts of an afternoon CNN political program got into a lengthy debate yesterday when the topic of “quid pro quo” came up. Producers of the live show were thrown for a loop when the four experts diverted into a realm of discussion not typically suited for a CNN show.

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“Next up for discussion was their thoughts on ‘quid pro quo,’ because that’s something Americans care about,” said associate producer Geoff Garcia. “But then it got a little weird.”

In a surprise move, Anne Moore counted aloud the number of vowels in ‘quid pro quo,’ which she declared to be five. Why she did this is still unclear, but Bill Williamson followed it up with his take on other phrases that contain a lot of vowels. Here’s a partial list they came up with:

Under the weather (6)

The coast is clear (6)

Barking up the wrong tree (7)

Across the board (5)

By hook or by crook (5 or sometimes 7)

Neither here nor there (8)

Things got a little tense when Ron Thompson chimed in with “I could eat a horse.” His three colleagues believed this offering from Ron crossed a line, because, as Anne Moore said, “we here in the US don’t eat horses, OK?” Ron was apologetic stating that he was only trying keep up, not that he would ever actually eat a horse.

CNN brass caught wind of the statement and quickly cleared up the matter. An insider who spoke under conditions of anonymity said upper level management asked Ron only one question concerning the horse comment. “We’re not going to beat around the bush. How would you feel if President Trump were to be impeached, and had to leave office?” Ron replied he’d be “over the moon.”

Ron was reinstated, promoted, featured on the cover of People magazine, and is now up for a Nobel Peace Prize.

-Out of the Wilderness News

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