Hilariously Bad Dating Profiles – part 2

If you missed part 1, check it out here and then let’s continue in the funny, cringe-worthy, embarrassing world of online dating!

  1. Cigs yes, kids no. This gentleman purposely matched with a woman who clearly lists that she wants kids and doesn’t smoke. Take a look at his side of these issues. Not to mention she says she loves Jesus and he says he’s non-religious. Sounds like a match made in Heaven, although he would not believe it.

2. Trash talk. I wonder what his fun ideas are… going to a recycling center together?

3. A picture is worth a thousand words 50 cents. This guy used a picture of 50 Cent as his profile picture. My friend responds accordingly.

4. That’s a catty-looking dog.

5. They say people look like their pets. Here’s exhibit A.

6. Me, myself, and I. Maybe that phrase is what she meant… so she is 3 women?

7. Words of affirmation. Showering them with compliments will always win them over.

8. I’ve been everywhere, man. This is just one of my pet peeves I had to include. It comes across as bragging, narcissistic, and really, I don’t care where you’ve been mmmmmk?

9. Get with the times. You can’t say bomb on a plane and you can’t say her favorite team name anywhere.

Thanks for checking out these profiles. There are a lot more out there so if you’re sorting through looking for the diamond in the rough, be prepared to laugh and be sure to have an extra dose of patience.

-Out of the Wilderness

Hilariously Bad Dating Profiles – part 1

If you’re married or have decided not to date, be so, so, so, so thankful that you don’t have to deal with stuff like this! Check out the profiles below for a good chuckle.

  1. “Never” is a relative term.

2. The town of Brentwood, perhaps?

3. Used? No thanks.

This was from “missed connections” on Craigslist, so I filed it under dating 🙂

4. You have a 14% chance of guessing which one she is.

Ladies, never include photos of yourself with your prettier friends

5. How is this guy still single?

6. If you mention drinking this much, you drink too much.

7. It could be worse, no matter how much trouble urine.

8. The mind games of this one.

9. My guess is this voter is still in the booth, confused.

Be sure to check back soon for part 2!

-Out of the Wilderness

Brief encounters

I’ve discovered that there are quite a few people you’ll come in contact with that you might only see once…ever. In fact, scenarios like that are so common even Craigslist has a part of their website dedicated to these casual encounters, as they call it. While I’d recommend scanning those for entertainment purposes only, there’s obviously a need they’re filling, or trying to fill.

Time has distanced me from the college years where I might’ve seen hundreds of people a day and a lot of times see those same hundreds and a hundred more all the time. And now, depending on your job, your weekly activities, you might see just a sliver of that amount on any given day.

I’ve never really been brave or outgoing when it comes to dating, even to this day, so I’ve realized these brief encounters with a woman I find interesting are, or could be, something to act on. Because it might be the only time I ever see this person.

There was that girl when I worked as a photographer’s assistant at a wedding.

Then there was Brooke from a local tattoo shop.

Once I talked with a girl at Kroger.

One and done, that’s what those were. Because I wasn’t really thinking past the moment. A buddy of mine had an experience like this recently. He was at Pinewood Social here in Nashville and was sitting in a sort of common area; a long couch, a table, basically a section you can chat with a friend or group of friends, and still order food and drinks. A pair of girls were sitting near him and because of where their computers where plugged in, he and at least one of the girls had to communicate. Afterwards he told me that he found one of them to be very attractive. The full story is that both were, but one had a ring on. 😉

So chance encounters like that do happen. But the older we get, they’re just not as frequent. If I’m being totally honest, most days I couldn’t care less about talking to anyone. Give me a chair in the backyard with my dogs and a cool breeze, I’m pretty much set! But every once in a while there will be tattoo shop Brooke. Or Kroger girl. Unfortunately for me I come up with great conversations I could’ve had about an hour or a week after. Lame-o!

So today I’m asking myself, “What am I doing about it now?” When the next Brooke comes along, or the next Pinewood Socialite sits down next to me or my friend, what shall be done about it?

-Out of the Wilderness