Breaking wind

I might be the only one who does this, and it’s why I sometimes think I have an odd personality. Don’t get me wrong, I love my personality, but is anyone else concerned about walking through someone else’s breeze? bad smell

Let’s say you’re at the gym. You walk towards the water fountain and someone passes you going the other direction. Do you hold your breath? What are you thinking in that moment you feel their wind breeze past you? Most of the time it grosses me out. But not just at the gym. It can be walking down a sidewalk. Crossing paths with someone at church. Moving through crowds at Disney World.

There’s a moment when you know you’re about to feel a gust of wind and you have to decide, do I stop breathing for a second, breathe through my nose, or breathe through my mouth? So many decisions need to be made in a short amount of time. It can be overwhelming. As can the scent. Sometimes it smells like an unwashed towel. Other times, if you’re lucky, it’s perfume or cologne. Then you’re like…
dancingPlease tell me it’s not just me!

-Out of the Wilderness

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Ugly Mugs

IMG_20150909_231253416IMG_20150909_231253416Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake are now on a mug, and I must find one. PS. I’ll upload better pictures when the full episode is online. Meanwhile, have you ever come across crazy, funny, ugly, or weird mugs? The gallery below includes an assortment of all kinds of crazy mugs, and some cute ones, too. Plus, guess what? You can buy them! Just click my eBay link here, and bid. I’ll try to keep adding more, so check back if you don’t see one you like! 
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Vacationing in the Bahamas…WITHOUT a GoPro

For anyone who knows me, it’ll probably be a surprise that on my recent trip to Atlantis in the Bahamas, I made a specific decision not use my GoPro. It’s part of an overarching theme I’ve been clinging to lately, to be in the moment without trying to preserve it in any other way than old-fashioned memories.

You know, the brain. The original data bank.

I could have put together a quick highlight video similar to a few I’ve done in the past, like a trip to Orlando to see my brother’s family, Disney vacations, or a recent beach workout video.

But I’m currently of the mindset that if you’re not here with us, then you wouldn’t get it anyway. So the camera stayed in my bag untouched for entirety of the trip. And honestly, it’s been so nice not to be carrying it around looking for the best angle, trying to record the unforgettable moments, repeating actions that were missed, hoping certain fish do things that are more entertaining than just snorkeling and watching them swim around their little homes. It’s being in the moment. It’s knowing that anything I see can be special because it happened once, I got to see it, and no one else ever will. It’s a part of history that will be talked about, exaggerated on, acted out, or thought of fondly, but like the barracuda I swam near today or the sand castles my nieces and I built today, there aren’t any pictures. No video.

Just great memories.

Do you want to see sharks? Do you want to see the colorful fish at Cove Beach? How about someone you know kissing a dolphin? Then go do it! Make some memories that you’ll be sad to forget when you’re old!

-Out of the Wilderness

Wacky Wednesday: You Say I’m Crazy

It isn’t just Sam Smith that gets called “crazy.” He was in love with a woman that appareeennnnntly cheated on him, per the lyrics of his hit song “I’m Not the Only One.” She calls him crazy because she doesn’t know he knows what she did. But he does know, and he even wrote a song about it. But anyway, appareeennnnntly I’m crazy, too. Because whilst at Disney World last week, I ran with the notion that my nails should be colorfully designed by my young nieces.nailsI suppose if I was going to do that, Disney is one of the most acceptable places. The scary part for me is that I actually liked it! But don’t worry about me yet, until I start shaving my legs and posting stuff on Pinterest.

-Out of the Wilderness

I Gave the Best One Away

It was your favorite record. The last bite of lasagna. Or 3 years of your life. You gave it to her and don’t regret it for a second. Though the relationship didn’t last, you aren’t burned out on giving the best you have to the person you love because when it’s all boiled down, that’s what you’re supposed to do. Maybe it didn’t work out because she wasn’t doing the same for you. Maybe she isn’t the dream girl you remember her being or maybe you messed up and lost her. But don’t mess up by treating your future relationships with a cynical attitude. Because the next one may be the reason all the past ones are the past ones.

It was a normal, typical, forgettable day when I started looking for a stamp to mail my water bill. I came across a silly little Disney Vinylmation figurine that reminded me of a girl I once dated. You see, there were 2 figurines when I first returned from a summer trip to Disney World in Florida. I bought one for me and one for her. With the collection of these designer figurines, Disney was creating some mystery by selling them without the buyer knowing which one they were getting (they were packed in a black cardboard box). In theory (and a whole bunch of spending later), you could own the whole set! Go you!

After we opened them up, there was clearly a “cool” one and clearly an “ugly” one. I knew which one she wanted so I kept… this one: Yeah, clearly the lamest. But I didn’t care. I wanted her to have the best one. Do I regret keeping this one? Ehhh, maybe. Do I regret selling it online? No way. Hey, I’m sure somebody wants it (and if that somebody is you, eBay).

I never found the stamps but in a moment of nostalgia, I found out that whether it was gifts, time, or revealing the deeper things in my heart, I don’t regret anything I gave that girl and I don’t regret our relationship ending, either. That was meant to be, and giving the best of who I am is what I’m meant to do. My creativity, my time, my trust, what I cherish the most which could be my family, my dogs, keys to my house, or telling someone something no one else knows, I’ll give it all away.

I won’t stop giving my best to whoever I’m dating at the time. Because that girl may turn into my girlfriend. She may turn into my wife. She may turn into the mom of my kids and a grandma to their kids. And one day as we’re looking through old photos of our family, I’ll realize somewhere along the line as I was giving her the best I had to offer, we actually gave the world the best we had to offer… and we’re looking at pictures that prove it.

Ali Fedotowsky The Bachelorette, Episode 9.

The only thing more frightening than the Haunted House ride at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida is…. a Frank mental breakdown! As predicted in the episode 1 recap, Frank sealed his fate this episode when he left Ali for a love interest back home. Let’s get personal, though. I’m at Disney World and I think I need therapy. I almost skipped Splash Mountain and Pirates of the Carribbean so I could stay in the hotel room to watch the Bachelorette. Sad day in my life, to be sure. I can guess what happened though. Frank freaked, Ali cried, Chris L. consoled, Roberto comforted. Chris and Roberto were shocked by frank, Ali cried and questioned her Bachelorette existence, and did Chris Harrison say, “Coming up, the most dramatic reveal in bachelorette history,”? Oh, Chris Harrison! Frank is gone, but the real loser is me. Because I’m sitting outside my Disney hotel room typing on my Droid about a show I didn’t even watch when I should be packing my lunch and playing wih my nieces. Mourn for me. And check back next week for a recap of whatever they’re showing, perhaps “The Men Tell All”?

They Call Him Flipper

In California, St. Teresa, or the East coast of Viet Nam, it really doesn’t matter, I love the beach! There’s an exciting and mysterious attraction to the ocean, the sand and all the creatures in the deep. Here in middle Tennessee, many folks will offer up a lake as an acceptable alternative, but to that I’ll shout, “Exhibit A!” Here’s the Exhibit A: when’s the last time there was breaking news about a lake creature found thousands of feet deep? Exhibit B: when have you seen photos of exotic locations on the coast of Tennessee? Never! Exhibit B Attachment 1: Tennessee doesn’t have a coast. Exhibit B Attachment 2: even if Tennessee had a coast, you’d have to drive through legions of University of Tennessee fans, with their car flags and door magnets just to get there. Slam #1: I can think of fifteen things I rather do than talk about the University of Tennessee. And ten more rather than the SEC! (that was Slam #2)

The beach is a much happier thought, and much more mysterious, thus Exhibit C: ocean explorers are finding new species every few months. Side Note 1: the funny thing is the species have been there all along, we just haven’t been able to get to where they are. As technology advances, so does discovery. Segue 1: Personal discovery.

I go fishing in the Gulf of Mexico a couple of times a year with my dad. Honestly, I only enjoy the actual fishing part of it when I catch fish. Most of what I enjoy is the unknown. Boating two hours away from the shore will put you right in the middle of the wild. I’ve seen sea turtles, sharks, manta rays, man-o-wars, manatees, crocodiles, and my all-time favorite… porpoises. Side note 2: Growing up in the states united in the East compelled me to fall in love with three things: seafood, the sun, and the Miami Dolphins.

Segue 2: the Miami Dolphins were named after the mammal in which I intend to elaborate on. Dolphins are very similar to porpoises and I’m not going to school you on the differences. In North Florida, we called them porpoises. Proposal 1: In all I’ve seen of ocean life, these creatures are the only ones that choose fun. On a large ocean liner, they’ll swim speedily at the bow. Behind a large troller they’ll dart in and out of the wake. Or off in the distance, they’ll jump high into a flip. Years ago I had the rare privilege of watching a porpoise swim upside down underneath a small watercraft I was on. It was amazing, amazing! I still remember the color of the belly and how excited I was to witness this.

 

Look at a porpoise in the face and you’ll swear they’re smiling.

Proposal 2: It’s as if all the other creatures of the sea act out of survival instinct, while the porpoise looks for ways to be happy. Analogy 1: Sea creatures are like the cart rides at Disney World. They turn a little to the left and right, but they’re locked on a track to go one direction. Instinct is the big honkin’ metal bar underneath the cart that keeps it on track. The carts, or fish, are slave to it. The porpoise? The porpoise is a Volkswagon Beatle named Herbie. They are free to go anywhere and do anything, and sometimes, they even go bananas! That was Corny Reference 1. But it’s true. Porpoises have instinct, but no metal bar. I like to think that they’re aware of our happiness with them and that’s why they jump out of the water, swim upside down underneath our boats, and help Sandy and Bud catch a group of criminals… because we like them and they like us.