Another sprint triathlon, am I crazy?

After a disastrous swim during my first ever sprint triathlon, I thought I’d never embarrass myself that way again. Y’all, my swimming was so bad I can’t even accurately describe it with words. Here’s how I thought I’d do and how I really did…

There were bystanders (friends, family of athletes) watching from the lakeshore and I can’t shake the thought that they must’ve been laughing their heads off at the guy swimming in all the directions. I was fine with the biking and the running. Even if I wasn’t fast, at least I was going in the right direction! Plus, my bike has a bell so I mean, yeah, that’s awesome.

Unfortunately, my competitive side has struck again. There’s another sprint triathlon coming up in about a month and my brother-in-law and I decided to sign up. He also did the last one with me, but he didn’t draw attention to himself the way I did with the embarrassing swimming. Did I mention I’m a bad swimmer yet?

So here we go again! Will I have another bad swim or have things changed? Can I improve my speed on my awesome 1970s bicycle? Can I run a little faster this time? So many questions and I’ll have answers 4 weeks from now. Wish me luck and if you happen to be watching or participating in a sprint triathlon anytime soon and you see a guy swimming haphazardly, won’t you be a kind person and point me in the right direction?

-Out of the Wilderness

Summer Birds and Nature Pictures

Summer is in full swing and it’s never more apparent than when I spend time on the near water. Whether it’s oceans, lakes, or rivers, aquatic life and birds are out and about in the morning, afternoon, and evening. Here are a few of my favorite pictures from wet areas in the southeast…

-Out of the Wilderness

Am I an extroverted introvert or an introverted extrovert?

This is the kind of question that might simply not have an answer. But if I had to make an educated guess, I’d conclude from the 44 years I’ve been on this earth that I’m an extroverted introvert. There are always moments I need to get away and be alone. Call it recharging, decompressing, centering, whatever it’s called I need it. That’s probably why I enjoy having my little space, aka my camper. It’s just me and the pups and in this camper I can write, nap, watch a movie, wash dishes, make meals, read. Of course, there are times I need to be around people. We probably all have those moments where being amongst family and/or friends is just as fulfilling as being alone.

I can’t envision myself as an extrovert, though. Public speaking, for instance, is not something I’m good at. Persuasion, also not something I excel in. Having people’s attention gives me anxiety 7 times out of 10. As an example, I barely even can make it through a prayer without fumbling my words when I pray in front of people. When it comes to persuasion, I once was a private video editing instructor just for a brief time and the whole process gave me such anxiety. I couldn’t even sleep at night because of the discomfort. It was bad. Once that particular job ended, I had such sweet relief.

How about you? Would you consider yourself an extroverted introvert or the other way around? Share any examples in the comments!

-Out of the Wilderness

I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body

June is the month when corporations all over the world United States celebrate people’s sexuality, so I thought it would be the perfect day to reveal my true self. I could use the attention and I really want Target to put me in one of their commercials. If I’m really lucky, I’ll get my face printed on a can of A&W root beer (like my hero Dylan Mulvaney and Bud Light). Ok here it goes… I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body.

Don’t read too much into this and definitely don’t use your white, or brown, or American, or Asian, or European, or human, privilege to decipher that being a lesbian man really just means I’m a straight dude who likes women. Only God can judge me!

For too long lesbians like me have been getting the shaft (pardon the irony). It’s happening again with the acronym we all know: LGBTQ. It’s always started with L but now 2S has been added to the front. 2SLGBTQ+. Women are always getting overlooked, huh? If you don’t know, 2S stands for two-spirit, the perfect personality for the pronouns they/them. And don’t even get me started on the straight people appropriating the word queer. 😤

Actually, I feel bad for gay people. They’ve been around forever and now they’re just kind of boring compared to their courageous peers. Like, dude, your guy over there is a non-binary, agender, asexual, two-spirit, assigned female at birth but identifies as a they/them, shaves his head but not his pits. He has a girlfriend and a boyfriend and lives with a group of polyamorous cat-lovers… and all you are is gay?

Boring.

Get with the times, my man! You’re the true OG! Original Gay. I’m really starting to miss the good ol’ days when there were just women and men, and they were either straight or gay. Now the possibilities are limitless but as for me, I’ll just keep on being a male lesbian who likes non-lesbian females.

-Out of the Wilderness

The Peloton Twerking Commercial – The Music, Pet Peeves, and More…

**UPDATE: Peloton’s latest high-cringe commercial features more irritating phrases, check it out!**

Peloton is back with a brand new commercial for literally everyone. After all, the ad is called “Peloton. Anyone. Anywhere.” Gone are the days where Peloton is just a bike in your bedroom. Now it’s a bike, an app, a coach, a partner… in your home, in the yard, on the court, by the pool, wherever. Take a look at the commercial then scroll down for more info…

The Music. Playing along this minute-long ad is “KILL DEM” by Jamie xx. Here’s the full track.

The Twerking. Viewers were quick to point out the confusing inclusion of a woman twerking on an outdoor basketball court. Random? Yes. But it might fit in the “cardio” category of their app. Just giving them the benefit of the doubt.

Dancing (in whatever form it happens) is a great workout. It’s too bad this particular clip with the twerking woman rates pretty high on the cringe scale.

Pet Peeves. Peloton ads are usually guilty of getting on my last nerve with their buzzy phrases. I wrote about it here and a great example is in the ad below.

Peloton has definitely carved out a spot for themselves in the home workout space. Do you think the ads we looked at today tip people in the direction of buying in to the Peloton world? Or would people at home rather see this buff stud do more workout videos?

See you all tomorrow.

-Out of the Wilderness