Dang it, Kygo

I was all set on posing today’s thought on “what is so special about Kygo’s remix of Whitney Houston’s ‘Higher Love'”… but gosh darn it, I can’t help but be flabbergasted after checking out a snippet from his “making of” video.

My first thoughts, just from hearing it on the radio were, “But it’s Whitney. It’s all Whitney!” Same goes for “What’s Love Got to Do with It” by Tina Turner (and Kygo). He’s just adding a few things here and there… but it’s Tina. It’s all Tina!

After checking out the “making of” video posted by Tygo, I understand more about his artistry added into each of the songs. I mean, at the end of the day, it’s Whitney and Tina! But if Kygo puts out remixes that introduce these iconic singers to a new generation, then that’s awesome, and I’ll give a high-five to Mr. Kygo when I have the chance. Certainly the skills he’s shown with these two songs, along with the fame he already had, is being put to good use!

-Out of the Wilderness

Donald Trump cost me a date, so I wrote him a letter

Dear Donald Trump,

While I believe you are attempting to do good for our country, there is a person here in Tennessee that has been negatively affected by your accomplishments. And that person is me. You see, among other things, I like that you care for the unborn. I like that you care for the born. In fact, my appreciation for your preservation of our society is why I’m writing this today.

Recently I struck up a relationship with a pretty lady. Now, I’ll be the first to admit we weren’t exactly a match made in Heaven. Areas she and I disagreed on were mostly deal-breakers but early on we DID agree on something: to focus on what we had in common. This seems like what any two mature adults would do, knowing that if we were to bring up and only discuss the things we didn’t see eye-to-eye on, our relationship was doomed.

We talked about animals. We talked about music. I even said I like Taylor Swift. Then out of left field, she asked if I supported you, Mr. President. Knowing she held strong liberal beliefs I wanted to respond with something clever and lighthearted but couldn’t exactly come up with an answer that would keep the peace. So I simply said, “I do.” No two words could have destroyed her more than these. It’s as if I called her a dog-faced pony soldier, and meant it!

In the Bible (the book you held upside down once, you rascal!), one might propose that the overarching theme could be summed up in two words, “But God…” As hopeful as THOSE two words are, the two words I said were the exact opposite. Powerful in their lack of hope for our relationship turning into a “happily ever after” (like Noah and Allie’s did in The Notebook).

After the infamous, “I do,” the conversation was ending and it was ending fast. Clearly she knew in her heart of hearts that I was a racist, sexist, homophobic pig (I AM a white man, after all) and she didn’t want anything to do with it. The last nail in the coffin came after she asked me to share a few reasons why I support you. I think the third thing I mentioned was about your work preventing government funds from going to entities that perform abortions. By the way, did you know one person cannot have two blood types? I wrote a blog post about how this simple scientific fact supports life, not choice… in regards to abortion.

Anyway, after I brought up your work against abortion, you would’ve thought I just told her Cheez-It’s aren’t made with real cheese. Her patience with me had run out so she wished me well and it was over. I’ll give her credit for not wasting more time with someone that doesn’t believe exactly the same things she does.

I’ve never written to a President before so I’m not sure how to end this. I guess I’ll put it this way, sir… I’m STILL single. Of course, I rather have you in the White House than a mad woman in mine.

Sincerely,
BW

Chuck Norris Deployed to Southeast as Storms Approach U.S.

PENSACOLA, FL — In an unprecedented move, FEMA has authorized the use of Chuck Norris in an effort to neutralize the double dose of tropical storms heading towards the United States. As noted in a statement from FEMA Administrator, Pete Gaynor, there hasn’t yet been an effective way to lessen the power of tropical storms… until now.

Greg Gallman, who serves on the National Advisory Council, messaged Gaynor with the idea to call on Mr. Norris for help combatting the threat of Marco and Laura, two tropical storms expected to make landfall as hurricanes this week along the Gulf coast of the United States. A source with knowledge of the conversation says the idea was met with confusion initially, but after Gallman explained how Mr. Norris “kicks everyone’s [butts] wherever he goes,” Gaynor was more open to the unconventional idea.

Historically, Brazilian jiu jitsu has not been used as a way to overpower weather phenomena but in 2020, as many people will admit, nothing is off the table. As a black belt in BJJ, Chuck Norris graciously accepted the invitation to combat the storms, as he has yet to find an opponent he cannot defeat.

Mr. Norris will setup camp in Pensacola, Florida Monday afternoon but at the time of this posting it is unclear when he will call on his martial arts skills to chokehold the storms into submission, or if he will need to do so at all. Meteorologists in the area noticed something quite peculiar; once FEMA announced the inclusion of Chuck Norris in their plan to battle the two tropical storms, both Marco and Laura weakened and began spinning back towards where they came from.

Details will be updated as needed.

-OTW News

flowers, flyers, and a ferocious beagle

Breaking news: I have new guests in my backyard. The first picture here is a flower that I had no idea was even part of the makeup of my yard! A tiny bit of the backstory is that this area actually had a tree in it not too long ago till a storm blew it down. Now, I guess there’s room for things like this to show up? It looks like some kind of hibiscus… with a few visitors of its own.

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Next up is a moth/butterfly creature that is beautiful. The problem with these guys is that they rarely stay anywhere long enough to get a good photograph but I’m very thankful to get this shot.

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So far these things have been pretty, right? Then we get to this guy.

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While I wouldn’t call a cicada “pretty” by the standard definition, they’re very fascinating to look at (when they aren’t haphazardly flying towards your face!). Kind of like this insect… pretty in it’s own freaky way. I would’ve had more pictures of the cicada, certainly the blurry photo isn’t the best, or wouldn’t have been the one I chose… but…. I only got one photo before… how do I say this delicately…. well…. let’s just say I’m the only vegan in my house and I’ll let you decide what that means.

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Good day to ya!

-Out of the Wilderness

Convenient design for hanging your mask in the car

Based on a need of my own, I came up with a simple design to store my sunglasses in the car when I wasn’t wearing them and I called it the Shades Hanger. So not only am I the designer, I’m also a client. Then a few days ago it dawned on me, this little thing would be great for masks, too. It’s perfectly designed with two hooks that will keep your cute little mask off the car floorboards where it would get dirty and/or lost.

Let’s be honest, hanging your mask on the rear-view mirror is so April.

Be hip for the remainder of 2020, not to mention you’ll also keep your mask clean and easy to find with this great little product! Check out the images below and click here to order a few for yourself and loved ones.

Click here to take a look and purchase

-Out of the Wilderness