How it’ll be when corona is over!

I know we’re still in the thick of it with the corona threat, everything shutting down from Disney to restaurants to local adult league sports… but I’ve had glimpses of how I think we’ll feel when the coronavirus is no longer a threat. Businesses opening up, sports on TV again, and every one of us are excited to return to what was normal before. I envision it feeling something like this…

Until then, stay safe!

-Out of the Wilderness

How many dogs in the history of pup-kind have eaten one of these?

It’s kind of like that one song you’ve heard with a word you’d never expect to hear in the lyrics. Like “spool”… how many songs have ever included the word “spool”? I can tell you there’s probably only one…


That’s right. Just like there’s probably only one song with “spool” in the lyrics, there’s probably only one dog that’s ever eaten…

a sea horse!

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pictured is the sea horse who is no more, in his last sea-lfie

Yep, I hate to say it, but my 10-year-old beagle was feeling a bit horse the other day. Was she sick? No, no… she’s fine. But she ate Sea-biscuit!!! Yes, you read that right. I was at a beach on the gulf coast of Florida and randomly found a sea horse who had apparently passed away recently. He was floating in the shallow waters and wow, what a moment! I’ve only seen a sea horse in the wild once in my life, and now twice. I reverently picked it up and stored it for the trip back to the house so I could show the rest of the family.

A few folks got to see it before the pup-petrator commited– *ahem* ALLEGEDLY commited– the crime. I had set Sea-marty Jones in a spot where he would dry out, safely away from most activity around the house. A few hours later, Snack Beauty was gone! A potential witness stepped forward with some information, very incriminating information, about one of the dogs who shall not be named, but who is known for eating anything that is close to being edible. The witness said he saw this dog near the area of Sea-cretariat.

So we don’t have hard evidence to lock the canine up, but we know her well enough to know with 99% certainty she had a salty snack that day! Plus, that very afternoon when a squirrel ran by, I could swear I heard a neigh where a howl should’ve been 🙂

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looking awfully pupspicious

So long, BuSEAphalus…

-Out of the Wilderness

Man forgoes standard home security for “coronavirus” method instead

Sikeston, MO — A Sikeston man was questioned over the phone about a sign seen on his door in the last week or so, after reports from neighbors questioned it’s authenticity. Concerns grew from the homemade warning to which the man, who’s name we will not include for sake of privacy, responded, “If anyone wants to break into my house, they have to think to themselves first, ‘Is whatever I might get from this house worth getting the coronavirus also?’ I can tell ya right now, it’s not. All I have is a small TV and a lot of regrets.”

We chose not to take the bait on what regrets he may be speaking of, but during the course of the interview we couldn’t help but notice lots of meowing cats in the background and something he uttered about bitcoins.

Asked if he was actually diagnosed with the novel coronavirus, or if this is just some sort of stunt, he replied with a series of coughs and a few sniffles. Below are a couple of images courtesy of the Sikeston man, who wishes everyone well but warns his neighbors to stop with all the “nincompoopery.”

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Epic Spring Break in Florida

There was no alcohol, no drugs, no late night parties– actually, I take that back, there were a few late nights but for this spring break, it was all about family! I took my self-quarantining to the gulf shores of Florida where my nieces and nephew were spending their spring break.

This timely family reunion was so fun. Let’s see if I can remember all the things we did: spike ball, boat trips, tubing, wakeboarding, collecting shells, found a sea horse (more on that soon), naps, dog walks, morning beach jogs, volleyball, knockout, one on one basketball with my brother, races, fixing lights, food, more food, golf cart rides, tennis, movies, black jack, war (card game, see below), bonfires, s’mores, One Night werewolf game, sushi (thanks brother in law!), work (thanks Zac, Kelly, Anderson Design Group, Steve, and Electronic Express!), watching an eagle fly, dolphins, stingrays, fish, seagulls, paddleboarding… phew, I think that was it.

Oh, and my sister’s family got a puppy. So it was kind of a boring week 😉

I’m awake, but I think deep down I’m still napping.

-Out of the Wilderness