Posting daily at 1pm central about all kinds of things. One day it's dating, the next it's TV commercials. I hope you're entertained. Professional photos on SmugMug – https://benwilder.smugmug.com
News broke today that Tom Petty has passed away so I thought I’d share my first memory of him and his music.
I was in middle school in the late 80s/early 90s and our family had recently moved to Stafford, Virginia. Our next door neighbors had kids around my sisters ages (high school) so they naturally became friends pretty soon after we arrived. At some point they started talking about music and my sisters’ new friend gushed about Tom Petty. I couldn’t help but laugh and think, “What a dork!” Who would like Tom Petty or his music? I thought I was so hip and evolved and my neighbor was out of touch.
Boy, was I wrong!
As I got older, my exposure to music expanded. It was probably some time in college or just after college that I thought back to that middle school Virginia story and was embarrassed again… but this time it wasn’t for my neighbor, it was for me. I was the one who needed to learn more about good music and it wasn’t just limited to the tiny handful of songs or groups I liked.
Tom Petty is a legend and sadly, it took years for that to become a reality for me. He was singing adult music and I was just an immature little child. Here’s a list of my favorite Tom Petty songs:
A friend of mine met me for lunch yesterday and among the things we talked about was guns/ gun ownership/ self-defense. I think we got on the topic in somewhat of a round-about way, first discussing what we’d do (or have done) in scenarios where help might have been needed. Think: car accidents, someone being locked out of their car, house fires, robberies, that sort of thing.
We eventually got to a fear everyone’s thought about at some point: what if an intruder breaks into your house with a gun? I know there are different strategies based on who’s in the house already, like if you have a family, if you’re single, have roommates, etc. Our hypothetical scenario was us as fathers with a family in the house when it’s broken into. The question we asked was would we, or even could we, shoot to kill or would we do whatever we can to allow the intruder to live? My friend and I are both Christians, so while we agreed our first instinct was to defend the family, there’s another wrinkle to the story because we’d be dealing with someone that hasn’t met God…yet. Do we use a gun and, if the person is killed, take away their opportunity for salvation?
My stance was an enthusiastic, “Yes, send them to their Maker.”
My friend was discussing this days earlier and the other person in that convo is a father and husband, and he proposed that because he knows where his family members are going, as in Heaven because they’ve all become followers of Jesus, he would do whatever he can for the salvation of the intruder’s soul, even if it meant sacrificing himself or any member of his family. Sounds sick, right? That’s sort of what I was thinking but it’s more complex than that, and also there are ways to subdue the unwanted guest without killing, I guess.
So back to my friend and I chatting as we munched on lunch at First Watch. He then brought up the strongest defense in favor of the intruder… what example has God set for us in this kind of scenario? Well, He didn’t choose to save His son when He could’ve (when Jesus was on the cross, about to die). And Jesus died so others could live, so it’s kind of like the made-up scenario where maybe one of the family members dies, but the house intruder lives. God chose us, the humans/ sinners/ intruders over His son.
Rocked my world.
It’s still something I’ll think about in the coming days, but at this point I don’t know how that truth can be overcome. God chose us. He chose the ugly, mean, sinful intruder because He wanted us to have a chance at redemption. It’s a beautiful and completely unfair thing He did, and of course, I’m grateful.
But if I’m ever in a situation like the one that just happened in Vegas, I don’t know what I’d do. Are there more than the two obvious choices: let the gunman run wild, or kill the gunman? Maybe killing him so others can live is the answer. I texted my friend about what happened in Vegas and he texted back: “Shoot him… with a stun gun” …so maybe that would work, if the opportunity was there?
It’s a complex world we live in, and really the only way to rid ourselves of horrific events like [insert tragedy here] is to admit we are sinners in need of help. Then, as TobyMac says, “when love breaks through” things would begin to change for the better.
Sometimes I wish I had Down Syndrome. I don’t say that lightly because I know folks with this diagnosis struggle with things just like anyone else. My oldest sister has Downs so for my entire life I’ve had a front row seat to her amazing attitude towards life.
Now, I know generalizing the characteristics of people with Downs will have exceptions but from what I’ve seen in my 38 years with my sister and experiences through Special Olympics and every day life, they are the sweetest people on earth! How’s that for a generalization? 🙂
I hope you can give a handshake or a hug to someone with Down Syndrome while you’re out and about, as October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month. Ask them questions. Chat with them. Enjoy their perspective and learn what you can from it. I’ve learned a lot from my sister, starting way down in Key West, Florida.
That’s where she was born. Then about 7 years later, that’s where I was born. Doesn’t sound like a big deal, right? Two siblings born in the same city? Well, it is a big deal because my dad was in the Coast Guard, so between my sister and I, we have 2 others siblings born in California and Virginia. The chances of she and I being born on the same little island was probably a million to one so that’s something we get to share that I am thankful for!
In my childhood, here’s a little what I remember (and a shout out to my parents for this, as well): she was in public schools, she had jobs, played sports, and was involved at church. She loved being part of whatever was happening, whether it was managing the high school track team in Stafford, VA where she and our other sister attended, or working in the cafeteria at Westminster Christian School when my brother and I were in high school.
Then when college came around, she worked in the equipment room at Florida State. Some would attribute the 1999 championship season to the cleanliness of the towels, just sayin’. *shoulder shrug*
Besides work stuff, though, she’s a great example of being a people person. I remember in college she had a “guy list.” Basically it was whoever was her favorite at the time. But being named Scott, Travis, or Troy helped a lot! Let me tell ya, though, guys were fighting to be #1! I think a few of the best ways to just make the list was simply to talk to her, give her a hug, and well, let’s be honest, you had to be cute. She’s a woman, after all! 😉 Mention anything good about the Gators though, and bam, you’re off the list!
Providing water for the elite athlete’s at Masters Academy in Orlando, FL.
All kidding aside, she’s always loved hugs. She’s so caring, so prayerful, very spirited and so genuine. Nowadays, she works a full-time job. She sings in the church choir. And just the other day she was the honorary water girl at my nephew’s middle school football game. She loves sports, that’s for sure. She’s also so good in front of a crowd, something I admire about her. She will get on a stage to play piano, sing, whatever and yes, she gets nervous about it sometimes, just like I would, but then she goes on stage and slays it!
She knows how to love well, often, and consistently; asking about your day, adding you to her prayer list, and hugging you whether you need it or not.
Her example of how to live right hasn’t changed. She talks to God every day. She reads her Bible. But she does have some fire in her bones, too! Just ask her about the Gators 🙂
my sis with my mom at a recent FSU football game
She also loves animals, especially every pet that’s ever been in our family including my dogs, Piper and Asia. When I was in middle school our family had a ferret and I kid you not, that thing was evil. Nipper got her name because she gashed our ankles with her devil teeth. She was a wild ferret who wouldn’t be tamed. We couldn’t hold her without being bitten or clawed. Tough times! But they weren’t tough times for my sister. She could pick Nipper up, snuggle her, hold her, pet her and Nipper was as calm as a morning sunrise. It was sweet and slightly frustrating.
But it’s because my sister, at her very core, is sweet and caring.
There are lots of moments I wish I had the personality and disposition of my sister. She’s the best example of how to live with grace, humility, courage, and trust in God every day. If we all loved and cared the way she does, 99% of our problems would disappear. And I’m only leaving the 1% because there would still be Gators out there. 🙂
One of the best nights of the year… is how the lead singer of one of my favorite bands, The Head and the Heart, described last night in Nashville. Although he was referring to the cool, low humidity of the evening, he was right in more ways than he knew. And he also didn’t know the memorable night actually began 4 hours earlier!
I invited one of my friends to go to this show with me and was so happy she said yes. I knew she’d be good company! The first band was scheduled to start at 7 so we went to dinner first. There were 3 choices (because anyone who knows me knows I can be slightly indecisive, or is it easy to please? I don’t know, I can’t decide…) so we drew the winner out of a hat.
We didn’t go to (A) Oishii Asian Restaurant or (C) Mellow Mushroom, the winner was (B) Rainforest Cafe in Opry Mills mall. I haven’t been there before but it reminded me a lot of Disney World with how well they paid attention to details. Plus they had tanks of some wild looking fish that were fun to look at. We even saw Dory. Or maybe it was Dhorie (as to avoid copyright infringement). 😉 We had fun talking about all sorts of things… the stars on the ceiling, a ghost cloud, the elephants and other wild animals, and of course, we ate dinner, too.
She got the Anaconda Pasta (yum) and I got the Rainforest Natural Burger (yum). Both were yum.
We macheted out of the jungle, hopped on the interstate and made it to downtown around 730. Ascend Amphitheater has a number of seating options (see below). We went with the assigned seats, a little more expensive than general admission, but when we got there I was very happy not to have to fight our way to a small spot on the crowded grassy lawn. The red box below shows our two seats.
The first band we saw was Dr. Dog (we missed the band before them, oops!) and they were good. Any band that uses a harmonica pretty much gets an automatic thumbs up from me. Their last song was one you may have heard of (this super catchy tune) and somehow you could just tell it was destined to be a hit.
Then The Head and the Heart took the stage and it was amazing! They have so many great songs and their voices are so recognizable. I was thinking during the show that they have the kind of music that doesn’t need any help, know what I mean? Some shows you go to include complicated light moves, video screens, fire, dancers, etc. When I worked at CMT we’d call it a stunt. It’s like added embellishments, extra entertainment, that sort of thing. I often think to myself, “When you have great music, you don’t need anything else.” Now, I know that’s unfair because there are plenty of amazing performers who don’t need any help, and the things they add to the show do, in fact, enhance the live experience. But with a group like The Head and the Heart, the music and the lyrics draw you in and to have other “attractions” would just be “distractions.”
They finished about 1045 so we made our way back to the car and took our heads and our hearts back out of town. It was such a fun afternoon/night, from the very beginning to the very end. And I’m cirrus when I say, if you have a chance to see The Head and the Heart, just do it, come on!!!
Today I brought in my Nissan Versa because of an air bag recall. Evidently when the airbags deploy, shards of metal can cause serious injury or death. Yeah, I’m gonna need you to fix that, kthanx.
The replacement process took about 2 hours so to kill time I strolled over to the “sales” side of the Nissan dealership. I was very clear and upfront with the salesman that I would not be making a purchase today, but I wanted to take a look around the lot.
He showed me an assortment of offerings available in, or close to, my price range. The truth is I’ve loved my car. It has 195,000+ miles on it without a major breakdown (although I think I’ve had breakdowns in the car, but that’s a whole other story!). Is the windshield cracked? Sure. Does it have an eagle on the back bumper? You betcha. What’s that spot of rust? Oh, it’s a spot of rust. When’s the last time cruise control has been operational? Since Obama was in office… the first time.
So here’s what I can gather about the tactics of a salesman:
I’m your friend. In other words, make the buyer your buddy by finding some common ground. Today he casually mentioned that he benches 315 lbs and I can’t for the life of me remember how we got there. But then it hit me, I was wearing a Planet Fitness shirt. You know, the free ones they give you when you join? I think he must’ve seen that and taken a chance that being healthy/working out is one of my interests, so he stealthily brought it up.
Good cop/ bad cop. A few times when I asked what the price was on a certain car, he’d say something like, “Oh, I just show you the cars you want to see, it’s my boss’s job to get the price to where you want it. But this one is great!” *proceeds to show me a particular car*
The perfect time to buy. I was told more than once that based on the time of day, the day of the month, and the month of the year that this was a great time to buy. They’re willing to take a hit on the car they sell me because they can make up the difference on cars the sell later today, later this month, etc.
Lean, baby, lean. The body language. When the salesman’s manager came over to talk, I was seated in front of the sales desk. He postured himself at the corner of the desk and proceeded to lean in towards me as he talked up a steal of a deal. I’m guessing it’s some sort of body language intimidation tactic. But he was nice and didn’t come across as pushy or insincere. Seemed likable. Wait… dang it, he got me!
I was shown a Hyundai Sonata, a Nissan Altima, and another Versa. All these were newer models than my 2008. I really liked the Versa the best. It’s 7 years newer than mine but still had a familiar interior.
It was funny chatting with the salesman and his boss. In moments of down time my mind wandered to the grand picture of people’s personalities and how we’re wired differently. If I were a salesman I’d chat about whichever car and then kind of leave the ball in the shopper’s court, maybe even advise them to wait, to sleep on it, etc. But today I was pitched, and pitched, and then pitched some more about trading in my car with it’s broken handle and unpainted fender– oh yeah, it’s got a broken handle and an unpainted fender– for a blowout of a deal.
I was also using the opportunity to practice saying no. Sometimes I have a hard time with this. So I’d pepper in statements like, “Well, I’m not buying a car today,” or “I’m just browsing.” They seemed to acknowledge my position but continued with the pitching.
All the pitching!
Once my car was repaired and ready to hit the road again, I actually left it on the lot. Who has two thumbs and bought a car today? This guy! No, just kidding. I didn’t buy anything. Much to the disappointment of the salesman and his leaning boss.
I hope you can give a handshake or a hug to someone with Down Syndrome while you’re out and about, as October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month. Ask them questions. Chat with them. Enjoy their perspective and learn what you can from it. I’ve learned a lot from my sister, starting way down in Key West, Florida.
Out of the Wilderness 