First Words

“I find out that everybody talks,
everybody talks, everybody talks.”

When you wake up each day, when do you utter your first words? Who is that you’re talking to? Before I became a dog owner, there were days that my first words were on the elevator at work. When my “hello” sounded more like “hggellaow,” I’d realize that’s the first word I’ve said all morning. What’s the longest you’ve gone without speaking? Just for kicks, I may try to go a whole day without speaking. I’ll call it “vocal rest.”

Record Album Covers: Who Approved These??

Thanks for checking out these embarrassingly awesome record covers.

First up, these folks giving us the sounds of fresh water… in stereo!! What are the guitars for?
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Next up, this guy. Bonus! A personal message and an autograph. 2

I bet you wish you could have Melanie perform at your birthday party. Darn you, Margie!3 3b

Carol Hensel was “fit” before Wii was. 4

Headphones at Work

Do you ever have moments you just need to put on headphones and play music louder than the noise going on around you? For me at work, it’s currently:


… on repeat. I like those noise-cancelling headphones, too. I use a pair when I’m mowing the grass. Maybe I should look into finding a pair for work, although in most offices, I think it’s called a “sick day.”

-Out of the Wilderness

Music: How Do They Keep Us Coming Back For More?

Music has been around since the beginning of time. I can’t believe we haven’t exhausted all possible combinations of words, notes, and instruments. And you’d think after songs like

come out, everyone would just stop trying. “Ok, ok, they can’t get any better than that,” is what people would say. They’d pack up their instruments, tie them to an anchor and toss them in the ocean. Or melt them down and make vases. But no. All of the sudden another song comes out that takes the world by storm.

This whole thing baffles the heck out of me. Oh, gotta go. Time to ice my foot.

The Rhode Island Rider Rides Again

The last time I considered myself a skater was in 4th grade. I was living in Newport, Rhode Island and had the sickest neon green Tony Hawk skateboard in the neighborhood. It was custom built with two red wheels and two green. The trucks were tight, the grip tape was grippy, I was a mini Tony Hawk flying around Fort Adams that year. Thanks in part to my Airwalk shoes, I almost forgot. The ride was short-lived, though, because the very next summer we moved to Stafford, Virginia. Skateboarding wasn’t a thing there, so I traded my Tony Hawk board for a Starter jacket, and yes, my name was sewn in. It was righteous. Don’t believe me? Just ask JR Sheets, Chris Taylor, or Joey Willis, only the 3 other coolest guys at Stafford Middle School.

They say to do something every day that scares you. Well, today covered my portion for the rest of the month! Why? Because I flew on 4 wheels again.
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But it wasn’t the riding that scared me. You see, I thought it wise to find a safe and large area to get comfortable on the board again so I went to the empty parking lot of Brentwood Baptist Church in Tennessee. With a long board, the trucks are much looser than a standard skateboard because they’re made for speed, turning ability, and distance riding. I gotta tell you, riding again was so fun… and a heck of a workout! But this empty parking lot was becoming dull. I needed more challenges. I mean, hey, this is the heroic reincarnation of the Rhode Island Rider. People need to see this. I packed up and went home, only to prepare for my skateboard ride to Sam’s Club. Hey, I might be the Rhode Island Rider, but a man’s gotta get some skim milk, know what I’m sayin’?

Literally, I needed skim milk.

Sam’s Club is a bit over 2 miles away and there’s a few ways to get there. I knew the highway was not an option, so I picked the second best choice, which would have less car traffic. The first half mile was pretty much all down hill and I thought to myself, “People must be tweeting about this epic ride as they see me wistfully pass by.” I coasted on the down hills, pushed on the flats, and walked the up hills. It wasn’t till arriving at Sam’s I encountered my first problem. Stopping. I was inches away from cars passing me, down hill mind you, and I needed to make a sharp right turn. Stopping. How to do that? Stopping! No brakes. I envisioned myself attempting this right turn and busting it amongst onlookers laughing at this 34-year-old man in a mid-life crisis. Stopping. I decided to continue past the turn and let the upcoming hill slow me down. Stopping got a whole lot easier when the hill did it for me. Then I had to back track about 100 yards to Sam’s. Slightly embarrassing for the Rhode Island Rider.

With the milk in my backpack, I ventured out to return home. I went a different way back and it was actually a pretty good ride. I didn’t like the constant bumps of the sidewalk, though. I learned that pretty quick. I stayed on the edge of the outside lane for some of the time and apart from a few squirrelly encounters with manhole covers that were entirely frightening, I did pretty well.

Did I do something that scared me today? Yes. Do I consider myself a skater? Of course. Will the Rhode Island Rider ride again? Check your rearview mirror and you tell me.

Skate or die! Rider out.

-Out of the Wilderness