Out of the Wilderness

The remaining 16 girls were in for a San Francisco treat as Uncle Ben’s rice went on two one-on-one dates and a group date. There was a surprise guest on the episode, Ben’s sister 😉 She and Ben met together and discussed what Ben’s looking for, most notably a girl their mother would notice right away. He mentioned Lindzi C., Kacie B., Courtney, Emily and Jennifer, a “but-she’s-super-attractive” accountant. Chris Harrison, the host of the show, came out and explained the rules again. He also delivered the first date card. The happy recipient was Emily. “Loves Lifts Us Up” was the clue on the date card. Courtney reacts with harsh words for girls that are book smart.

Date 1: Ben met Emily and told her their date was climing the bridge over San Francisco Bay. She said a number of times she hates heights. What I like about this daring act is that it wasn’t supervised by some adventure group that does this climb a thousand times a day. To me, there’s no real risk in a climb like that. This climb was unique, so I give credit to whoever came up with it. As they climbed, Emily stopped because she got so nervous. Truly, that would be a long fall. On the way down, she’d scream, “But I was here for the right reeeaaaaa—-” Bam! Water. She got tough and finished the climb with Ben. They high five, kiss and hug. Obvious metaphors of how the climb applied to real life. Later in the evening, they had a formal dinner. Emily proceeded to explain her most recent dating experience was of the online sort. She got matched with a guy she already knew, her brother! They decided to just be siblings, so here she is making a go for Ben. Later, he offered her the rose then followed up with some tongue-twisters and fireworks, both literal.

Next up, the group date with Blakeley, Jaclyn, Kacie B., Erika, Samantha, Jamie, Monica, Rachel, Nicki, Elyse and Casey S. They’re doing something called a “leap list.” Someone somewhere is trying to make “leap list” catch on like “bucket list” did. Quite frankly, I’m off-board. So instead of “leap list” I will instead say “Michael Bolton.”

This date started with snow skiing down a street in San Francisco. As the group drove from the hotel to the “ski slope,” we were treated to an in-show advertisement for the new Honda CR-V, something we evidently need to add to our Michael Boltons. Every single girl stripped down to a bikini and Ben to his cargo shorts. The group date finished as they dined at a fancy Hawaiian-style restaurant. Kacie B. once again came through with flying colors, however, the group date rose went to Rachel.

The final one-on-one went to Brittney, who reacted with an “uuggghh, didn’t see that coming.” She went on to say something didn’t feel right, so she found Ben and told him being his wife was not on her Michael Bolton. She hit the road, with tears, but she still hit the road. So the final single date actually went to Lindzi C., which I was very happy with because I picked her for my Bachelor Fantasy team this week, and I can use the points, literally! They took a trolly ride where Ben pointed out all the hot spots in San Francisco. What a treat. They got some Swensen’s ice cream then drove through China town on their way to the San Francisco City Hall. As soon as they enter, the lights turned on and Matt Nathanson’s there waiting to play some music for them. In the back of Lindzi C.’s mind, “I’m so glad he thinks I’m Brittney.” Dinner is served at a password-protected speak-easy called Bourbon and Branch. They had a decent conversation, Lindzi C. even admitted after dating a guy for over a year she was dumped via text message, “Babe, welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.” Ouch. Ben doesn’t want to dump her yet, so he offered her the rose. Perhaps she knows the secrets to his password-protected heart. Later they sit at a piano and play the melody of David Gray’s “This Year’s Love.” Can I be serious here for a second? I love that song. Purchasing it tonight from iTunes is definitely on my Michael Bolton.

Time for the cocktail party. All the girls were in fantastic moods, toasting to a drama-free night. Ben took a few girls off to the side to have little chats with them. Jennifer and Ben kissed. Courtney snowed Ben for yet another episode. Now we all know times are tough. People are living longer. So with some free time on her hands, funeral director Shawntel Newton bursted through with life in her steps. You can find out more about her season with Brad Womack by clicking here. Shawntel showing up obviously displeased every one of the girls, even Kacie B. A few of them threaten to leave if Shawntel gets a rose at the rose ceremony. Ben’s reaction on seeing Shawntel at the cocktail party, “Holy ——!” This is my favorite scene from all the seasons of the Bachelor because he genuinely seemed unaware of what was happening. On a show that has so much producing, and so much set-up, this seemed like a true real-life reaction. Be honest, how many times have you gone to a party and knew without a doubt a certain someone would not be there. Then you turn around and holy ——-! there they are. Lots of drama as the girls harassed the heck out of Shawntel. She did her best to assimilate into the group, but they literally would not let her in. She confessed she was there to date Ben. Will he keep her around? Will he tell her to put a nail in the coffin of her feelings for him? It all came down to the rose ceremony. Roses went to Emily, Rachel, Lindzi C., Courtney, Kacie B., Elyse, Jamie, Jennifer, Casey S., Blakeley, Monica, Nicki and Samantha.

So Jaclyn, Erika and Shawntel can cross marrying Ben off their Michael Bolton.