Booze It And Lose It

In 2006 I spent 2 weeks in Hanoi, Vietnam, the capital of a Socialist country. The biggest surprise was how free it felt there. When I returned to the U.S., I soon became turned off by the amount of rules and regulations we live with each and every day. My friend said it best, “We’re not free, we’re just free-er than most.” We may not be “free-er than most” for very long because if something’s happening, there’s a law that prohibits or protects it. I don’t blame the government, though. The problem lies within the people. If it’s possible for a nation to live by 10 laws (Israel back in Biblical days), then why couldn’t the United States? How did this overabundance of laws happen? It’s directly proportional to our morals. As morality decreases, rules increase. Just look at a few laws about motor vehicle operation.
I was recently on the interstate and saw a sign that said “booze it and lose it,” meaning you will lose your license if you’re caught driving drunk. If I were in charge of that sign, I’d have it say “booze it and you may ruins someone’s life for a long, long time. I sorta hope it’s your own and not some innocent person’s.” Then I’d have another sign that says, “stop reading this sign and pay attention to the road.” Am I the only one that thinks we have way too many signs in this country? For instance, this one:

Oh, really? Is that what I should do in case of a flood?

If we ask questions like, “Why shouldn’t I drink alcohol and drive? Why shouldn’t I text and drive? Why should I wear my seat belt?” The most common answer to all these questions is, “Because if I do these things, I’ll get a ticket.” Speeding down the highway at 90 mph, we’re more worried about getting caught than the physical damage we could do. We secretly text while we’re driving so the cops don’t see. The real danger is not the police, it’s the divided attention. The unfocused driver. The compromised awareness. Just like driving under the influence of alcohol. Groups like MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) would tell you that getting a ticket should be the least of your concerns. Yet our warnings are about what we’ll lose if we’re caught. Unfortunately, we’re influenced more by warnings that affect our wallets or our perceived freedom.

“There is no such thing as a little freedom. Either you are all free, or you are not free.” -Walter Cronkite

If we can somehow live with basic morals (treating our neighbors the way we want to be treated, for instance), the government would be less involved in our lives. On a side note, this may be why a lot of people in America have a problem with religion. It often seems like another set of rules to obey and when the government already has a lengthy list of requirements, religion is the last thing a person wants. And I’m serious about the signs.

The Best Love Song: Reason #21

On a random day in December 2011, I took a glance at the top 20 songs on iTunes. The list is below, and using this title search, it proves that loves songs ain’t love songs no more. And that’s why Bryan Adams 90s classic “Everything I Do (I Do It For You)” is the best love song of all time. To prove the worth of reason #21, I’ve put an asterick next to the songs that might be about real love. How do you feel about these songs? Are they a good representation of the values Americans have in the 21st century?

1. We Are Young
*2. We Found Love
3. Sexy and I Know It
4. It Will Rain
5. Good Feeling
6. The One That Got Away
7. Survivor/I Will Survive
8. Red Solo Cup
9. Ni**as in Paris
10. 5 O’Clock
11. Someone Like You
12. Moves Like Jagger
13. Man in the Mirror
14. We Are Young
*15. Without You
16. Young, Wild and Free
17. Party Rock Anthem
18. The Motto
19. Mistletoe
20. Bang Bang Pow Pow

Reason #21: “Everything I Do (I Do It For You)” is better than any of the top 20 songs on iTunes in December 2011.

The Bachelor: The 25 Women Ben Flajnik Will Choose From (and how to say his name)

Ben Flajnik (pronounced flannick) is about the live the dream as the 25 eligible women were announced for The Bachelor 2012. If you’re anything like me (and the women who sit near me at work), you’re greatly disappointed by the choices. There are a few standouts, but for a show that gave us the crazies (Michelle Money) and the mentally disturbed (Allie “My Eggs Are Rotting” Garcia-Sierra), this group of single ladies looks quite average. The ladies who sit next to me even snickered that they are better looking than all the girls picked for this season of the Bachelor. Poor Ben, right? Wrong! In this group of mediocrity, he’ll discover the gems that are Anna, Dianna, Elyse and Nicki. Unfortunately, he’ll also discover the lead balloons that are Amber T., Courtney and Holly. So ABC has already began the season on my naughty list (gimmicks are not necessary, ie. 70 year old contestant Cheryl), which is nothing new given that last season they had a guy wearing a mask for almost the entire duration of his time on the show. No matter, when Ben Ben gets wind that she goes to bed at 5:30pm every day in the bachelorette mansion, wisdom will prevail and he’ll send her to her oldest son’s home to rest quietly and watch the grandkids play.

That’s all for now, check back for Bachelor updates as the next season premiere approaches!

The Day a Toyota Echo Beat Me in a Drag Race

I thought wearing a fanny pack and watching the Bachelor were enough to prove how uncool I am but today I was reminded again. At a red light I got beat off the line by a Toyota Echo. Toyota doesn’t even make the Echo anymore do they? By the time I was up to highway speed, the echo was in 2015. Unbelievable.

It’s colder than an igloo’s wallpaper here in Nashville but evenso, it’s a nice time of year because people are beginning to show their Christmas spirit. I’ll show mine soon but I have a growing concern about who is and isn’t allowed to have a driver’s license. Two drivers I saw today should not have one. The first car turned left from the center lane. And as if that made it O.K., the car behind that one did the same thing. Unbelievable. I’ve seen that way too often. I’m thankful they didn’t cause any accidents like the one I heard about this morning. Just North of Nashville there was a 47-car pileup. One or two, understandable. Six or seven, wow that’s interesting. Twelve to fifteen, holy moly. But 47????? That’s news you need to sit down for. I bet there were at least 47 people that didn’t have the Christmas spirit this morning.

A few days ago I went to Wal-Mart for groceries. I noticed a young boy, maybe 8 or 9 years old, wearing an earring and hiding behind a clothes rack. I looked around and sure enough, there was another boy looking for him. Classic game of hide-and-go-seek in Wal-Mart. I looked back and earring boy was now crawling on the ground. I’m all for self-expression and I’m all for fun games but I’m sorry, you can’t have an earring and crawl around on the ground playing hide-and-go-seek. I’m sorry, you just can’t do both. The only thing that can do two things well is the El Camino. Is it a truck or is it a car?? Yes. Unbelievable!Hope you enjoy this time of year as much as I do!

For Sale By Doner

Cleaning up the house today
I found some things of yours.
If you want them back make your way
to the following stores.

The bracelet you left, with the gold clasps
It’s at Cheap Treasures, on the discount rack.

The cute little shoes that took 4 hours to find?
Won’t take you that long this time around.
You know that store that you never liked?
Yep, they’re at Goodwill now.

The picture you loved, wearing a bikini by the shore.
I actually just gave it a homeless guy who seemed to love it so much more.

The owner said they were good enough,
Talking about your scarf and your name brand watch.
Are you comfortable seeing those things
In the 2nd Avenue Pawn Shop?

Actually check my eBay store, you might have fun bidding
On items you used to own. At least you’ll save on shipping.

Some of these things might not belong to you
But it’s hard to figure out.
What can I say? My dog loves to chew.
This old Beatles record, looks way less Beatle-y now.

Oh there’s a few things I kept, I hope you don’t mind.
Like the DVDs, your laptop, the Beatles record that’s not chewed up,
the painting that’s one of a kind,
All the stuff that was actually nice, you can have them back for the right price. 

The rest of your stuff will cost a small fee.
You can pay by check or cash.
Make checks payable to the county
then sort through everyone’s trash.