Cars that look like stars

I saw an El Camino recently and for a split second thought it was Kid Rock.


Then I had a revelation… there are quite a few celebrities that look like cars.

Adam Levine / Corvette


Hunter Hayes / Toyota Rav4

 

Lil Wayne / this car


Paris Hilton / Mazda RX-7


Vince Vaughn / Volkswagen van


Neil Patrick Harris / Alfa Romeo

 

Ed Sheeran / Pontiac Aztek

 

Charlie Puth / Mazda Miata


Lady Gaga / car wash

 

-Out of the Wilderness

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The Day a Toyota Echo Beat Me in a Drag Race

I thought wearing a fanny pack and watching the Bachelor were enough to prove how uncool I am but today I was reminded again. At a red light I got beat off the line by a Toyota Echo. Toyota doesn’t even make the Echo anymore do they? By the time I was up to highway speed, the echo was in 2015. Unbelievable.

It’s colder than an igloo’s wallpaper here in Nashville but evenso, it’s a nice time of year because people are beginning to show their Christmas spirit. I’ll show mine soon but I have a growing concern about who is and isn’t allowed to have a driver’s license. Two drivers I saw today should not have one. The first car turned left from the center lane. And as if that made it O.K., the car behind that one did the same thing. Unbelievable. I’ve seen that way too often. I’m thankful they didn’t cause any accidents like the one I heard about this morning. Just North of Nashville there was a 47-car pileup. One or two, understandable. Six or seven, wow that’s interesting. Twelve to fifteen, holy moly. But 47????? That’s news you need to sit down for. I bet there were at least 47 people that didn’t have the Christmas spirit this morning.

A few days ago I went to Wal-Mart for groceries. I noticed a young boy, maybe 8 or 9 years old, wearing an earring and hiding behind a clothes rack. I looked around and sure enough, there was another boy looking for him. Classic game of hide-and-go-seek in Wal-Mart. I looked back and earring boy was now crawling on the ground. I’m all for self-expression and I’m all for fun games but I’m sorry, you can’t have an earring and crawl around on the ground playing hide-and-go-seek. I’m sorry, you just can’t do both. The only thing that can do two things well is the El Camino. Is it a truck or is it a car?? Yes. Unbelievable!Hope you enjoy this time of year as much as I do!

What In The K%!$#tchen Is Going On?

Here is my kitchen on a random weekday.

This image reveals 10 of my characteristics.

Let’s start with the obvious. You probably noticed the globe on the counter and the many bottles above the white cabinets.

Characteristic #1: Frugal and delights in the small victories of finding stuff like this at thrift stores, on beaches, or in the woods. Next is the attention-grabbing blue cup full of water. Characteristic #2: Personal health. Drinking water is a healthy thing to do (but what you can’t see is the pizza in the freezer, so this is an ongoing battle). Along the picture’s bottom edge you can see the corner of a dog crate. My beagle: I can’t control her, I can only hope to contain her…. in the crate. Ok, that’s not totally true. She’s a puppy and already knows how to “halt,” “sit,” and get in her cage on command. Bam! Characteristic #3: Leader of the pack. She’s the dog, I’m the master. And I’ll let you know when she believes that.

Now the not-so-obvious… to the left of the sink, below the cabinet, is the back end of a Maglite. This weapon is also used as a flashlight. Characteristic #4: Resourceful. Scanning down to the dishwasher you’ll see tape on the corners. I’ll take the tape off as soon as I stop buying stuff with tape on it. Characteristic #5: Procrastinator. Near the globe is a hardly-noticeable black phone cord and three, yes, three, power outlets. Characteristic #6: Powerful. With the power cord and multiple outlets, I can charge my Motorola Droid anytime and anywhere within those 4 feet. Near the stove, to the left of the wood figurines, is a small shark jaw. You’ve heard of having the “eye of the tiger”? What about having the “mouth of the shark”? Double bam! Sharp teeth are much more effective than a soft eyeball, I’m just saying. Characteristic #7: Sharp, not soft. Paper towels. The El Camino of the kitchen. Is it paper or a towel? Yes! Double threat and a triple bam! Characteristic #8: Double threat guy. Just left of the stove is a hot pad hanging from the cabinet knob. So obviously, characteristic #9: Hot. Lastly, the dishes in the sink. If you think this fits into the “procrastinator” characteristic (not washing dishes) or the “frugal” characteristic (not using dishwasher) you’d be wrong. Characteristic #10: Inclusive. See? Now my puppy can feel like part of the team.

 

“Clean the dishes! Gooooood giiiiiirl!”