I bet it was satisfying for her

I’ve been spending quite a bit of time on the road and I always imagine I look like Jimmie Johnson out there. Great hair, perfect beard, manly, the envy of all my peers. The problem is I don’t drive anything like he does professionally. But sometimes, yes sometimes, I like to think I’d win a track race. Or heck, even just cruise ahead of the cars next to me on a regular road. It rarely happens because I don’t have a Subaru. Or a Porsche. Or a neat little Ferrari.

Today, I swear I came off the line first, but there was not much else I could do driving the ultra gas-friendly hatchback Nissan Versa. Take a look.


The driver next to me, while slower to put her foot on the gas, passed me with ease and soon enough she was rolling off into the sunset, with another trophy marking the implosion of my pride. Good for you, woman!

-Out of the Wilderness

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Bad drivers and my dramatic experience with one

I came across another driver in Nashville that thought he owned the road. It wasn’t this guy, though:  NERD ALERT: It was me! I’m actually pretty embarrassed by what I did. I’ve decided to punish myself by exposing my mistake to the world. I’ll explain more after you see the dash cam video, here:  Explanation: When I’m driving, I can be a bit short-tempered. I don’t have a high tolerance for people who are indecisive, make the wrong decisions, or mess with my agenda in any way. It’s a fault, I know. I’m working on it, and that’s mostly why I decided to upload my embarrassing act on YouTube; to publicly shame myself. As you can see in the video, the lady in front of me needed to change lanes. I assumed she was about to miss a left turn and didn’t want to simply go down to the light and make her way back properly. So I let her have it, laying on the horn for nearly 5 full seconds!

Who does that?

Then, to ice the cake, I decided to pull out ahead of her. That’ll teach her a lesson! I did so, as you saw in the video, and very quickly realized the reason she was stopped: the third lane was being used as street parking! I was so embarrassed and full of shame. Instead of teaching her a lesson, I got schooled on being a jerk, judging too quickly, and acting like a real idiot. Ironically, the song playing on my stereo was GNR “Patience.” What scares me about this: I wasn’t even mad, so this must be habit. Ayiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi I need to change!

Whoever you were, lady driver on West End, I’m sorry. I was wrong and I know that.
-Out of the Wilderness

The Odd One Out

In a crowded room, do you ever feel like everyone knows something you don’t? When I go to Los Angeles, California that’s how I feel. Everyone’s trying to be somebody. Everyone wants everyone else to think they are somebody. If you don’t drive a Porsche or a Ferrari then you’re not quite successful. If you don’t have a view of the ocean or live in a gated community, then you’re not totally awesome. Status. If people see you in a nice car or owning a nice home overlooking Paradise Cove in Malibu, then you’re somebody.

Paradise Cove, Malibu, CA

Well, I know something they don’t; we don’t have to be ‘on’ all the time. Feel free to apply that to material possessions, career accomplishments, or personalities. It’s cool that you’re funny, but you don’t always have to be funny. It’s cool that you’re a serious person, but you don’t always have to be serious. If you’re an adventurous person, it’s ok if you’re boring sometimes. In the end, it won’t matter who you entertained and how much people liked you. It’s ok to be a boring person. If that’s what makes you truly feel alive, then be the best boring person you can be. There’s something refreshing about a confident person who knows when to be ‘on’ and when to lay low. When to tell a joke, and when to be silent. When to offer a hug, or threaten a punch. When to be the Porsche and when to be the Honda.