Bahaha and other things that mean funny

BAHAHAI don’t claim to know everything about social media, Internet or text lingo. In fact, I’m always pretty far behind the curve. Like, you’ve probably been saying bahaha for years. I get it. I typically go with a simple haha. I never lol. Doesn’t seem to fit my style. Now and then I’ll throw in a muahaha but only after saying something villainish. I live in Nashville. Maybe I should say muahahaw? Sounds more Nashvillainish. Here’s a guide to my definitions of laughing through your device:

Ha = I heard what you said. I know you probably thought it was funny. It really wasn’t.
Haha = could mean funny or interesting.
Hahaha = truly funny.
Hahahaha = unable to stop laughing, can’t top what you said.
Hahapow = someone laughing in Chicago, followed by a gunshot, obviously.
Bahaha = unexpectedly funny comment.
Bahahaw = unexpectly funny comment from someone in the south.
Bahaho = unexpected laughing at what a guy said.
Lol = laughing on the inside, hardly ever literal.
Hehe = more than a ha, less than a haha.
Heehee = hidden laughter, as if a prank has just been confessed.
Hee Haw = classic TV show from the 70s.

If you have other lingo you’ve used or made up, feel free to share!

-Out of the Wilderness

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Personalities: Justin Texterlake

The cool guy that texts all the time. He’ll text you when he’s with other people, and text other people when he’s with you.

“Justin Texterlake” is a flirt. Let’s just get that right out there in the open. If there’s a way to communicate with a girl, whether it be texting, Facebook chatting, or face to face, he’s got little fear of putting himself out there. For the most part, JT is friendly with everyone and, therefore, has a lot of friends, both guys and girls. He’s a likable character and definitely has qualities shared by “The Party” and possibly “The Indiana Jones of the South.” What sets him apart, though, is the constant flirtation and the oblivious disregard for conversational etiquette. This is glaringly obvious when you’re with Mr. Texterlake. In trying to have a conversation with him, you’ll notice him checking his phone. He’ll ask you a question and during your answer, he’s typing into his device. You want to believe he’s taking notes on your informational answer, but deep down you know he’s trying to score a date for the weekend. Then you ask him a question, and he answers with a question, “What?” You begin to wish of a simpler time, like ten years ago when the only device “Justin Texterlake” had was a Startac phone which he, of course, upgraded to include a long-life battery. Or fifteen years ago when all he had was a beeper and a 143 charm on his necklace.

This label is based on a popular entertainer for good reason because “Justin Texterlake” is popular, even with his faults, ie. lack of attention, ADD, short attention span, whatever you want to call it. The strengths of a Texterlake is his ability to network. Whether it’s for a weekend grill-out, or a Habitat For Humanity house build, he can be the go to guy for rallying a large group.

Now these characteristics I’ve attributed to a guy, but I’m curious if there’s a girl version of “Justin Texterlake.” In my circle of friends as they are now, I don’t know that there is one. What are her characteristics? Does she text a lot? How does she flirt? What sets her apart from other girls? All these questions will remain unanswered on this posting, because, quite frankly, I don’t know the answers.

I’d like to write more, but I just got a text from a Texterlake, so I need to go.

Why Does X Go First?

Does anyone know why X always goes before O in Tic Tac Toe? Here are a few theories, in order of those with most public support…

Conan O’Brien recently marked his next target, George Lopez, by putting an X on his back!

because X is the Xavior of the alphabet.

because O doesn’t mark the spot.

hugs always come before kisses (xoxo).

because O is never associate with a good reaction… “Oh geez!” “Oh gosh!” “Oh no!” “Oh boy.” “Oh wow, that smells.” “Oh well.” “Uh oh.”

because the Executive Officer (XO) made the strategy “X first” mandatory, with approval from the CO, of course.

because of the previous administration’s goal: “no X left behind”.

the Big Bang Theory banged an X first.

the O’s are well-known for hiding behind the X’s when Chuck Norris is looking at them.

Never “O first,” it just makes an ox out of you and me.

X’s love attention. Just look how many divorced couples always talk about the X!

O’s were first until the landmark case of X vs. Tinklefern, 1963.

O is the home team, so X’s bat first.

The O is always opening the door, sending flowers, sending sweet texts, and letting X go through the buffet line first. Such a gentleman!

and without checking wikipedia, any idea why a tie is called a “cat’s game”?