That time I body slammed a former First Lady

In my defense, she had already tried to body slam me three times. I guess I should blame dreams like this on my childhood. Isn’t that what we do as adults? I watched WWF before it was WCW or WWE and the most ultimate power move was the body slam. Second most was the suplex. Or maybe it was the long top rope jump from Superfly Snuka? Or Jake the Snake gently laying the python across his defeated opponent?

I have no idea why I dreamed this bizarre dream about body slamming a former First Lady. But boy was I in trouble afterwards! She laid on the ground, a group of concerned people gathering around her to help her recover. I knew there would be grave consequences for me, but eventually I was able to kneel with her and genuinely apologize. I remember her forgiving me for delivering such an epic wrestling move (if I may say so myself) and then the dream ended.

Weird, huh? I thought I would’ve skipped the body slam and went straight to the clothesline.

-Out of the Wilderness

Leave the World Behind – Waste of Time or Time Well Spent?

Hello there! Have you watched “Leave the World Behind” yet? I watched it a few days ago, because it gets dark at 4pm so what else am I supposed to do? The premise hooked me right from the trailer. Something extraordinary is happening, chaos, a mystery to be solved. The main characters are searching for clues and soon they’ll put together a plan to overcome the setbacks they’re facing. You know, movies with a beginning, a middle, and an end. In other words: the setup, the setback, and the payoff. Warning: Spoilers ahead.

The End of the Beginning. The setup and the setback for this movie were fine. Characters were established even if not one of this was likable. The mystery was there. Then boom, credits roll. No payoff. It felt like they ended the movie at the beginning of the story. I was very disappointed to realize I’d spent a couple of hours watching something where nothing actually happened. What is this, a Seinfeld episode!? Also, the Rotten Tomatoes ratings should be enough for you to avoid this movie.

Fish or Cut Bait. I should’ve cut bait (as they say here in the south) when the huge tanker ship crashed into the beach. As I watched this scene unfold, I kept thinking, “That ship would run aground hundreds of feet before reaching the beach.” Someone commented on social media that even with the technology blackout (which allegedly caused the ship to come ashore), wouldn’t the captain see the beach and steer clear? It doesn’t take radar to not be an idiot. Honestly, the movie lost me a little bit during that scene.

If you’re looking for a thrilling action movie, this isn’t it. If you’re looking for a satisfying ending, this isn’t it. It’s a mystery without the resolution. A question without an answer. A movie without a good reason to watch.

The payoff of this post: Leave this movie behind.

-Out of the Wilderness

Swimming in the winter!?

It’s that time of year again when I wake up to 32° weather, it warms to the 50s, then back down to the 30s by nightfall. Today I was going to run. Then I was going to ride my bicycle. Then changed my mind back to running. “Not too cold to run,” I thought. But that was an easy decision. As I walked around the pool on the property where I park my travel trailer, I had another thought. Someone should get the leaves out of this pool. I thought, “I’ll show off my toughness by doing a swim cleaning” (that’s where I bring the net with a snorkel mask and get all the leaves out). It’s so much more effective than scooping up from the side of the pool with the long pole.

I can officially say we’re at the point of the year when your face hurts if you go swimming. The water was frigid. All I could think about was the people on the Titanic. It’s no wonder most of them died quick. Just in a backyard Florida pool, my breathing was shortened, my face hurt, and after I got out I shook for about 20 minutes.

Kudos to the guy who shaved his chest to do the polar plunge in this Amazon commercial. He’s a real man.

-Out of the Wilderness

The Amazon Ugly Mittens Commercial – The Music, Token Gays, and More!

Amazon is using a new voiceover artist for their holiday commercials this year, instead of the British woman we’ve come to know. The VO in this ad introduces us to friends celebrating the holidays with an ugly Christmas sweater party. Take a look then scroll down for more info!

The Song. Party music for this commercial is one of those situations where I don’t know which is the band and which is the song title. But as I researched, I found out. Here’s the full track of “Ante Up” by M.O.P.

Wrap Up. The ad doesn’t really give us anything we don’t already know. Shop Amazon. Get stuff. The commercial also includes the token gay couple, which is obviously important to Amazon since a lot of their ads are “inclusive.” God forbid they not be evolved enough for Americans!

How do you feel about the commercial? Do you know where we can score those mitten costumes? I’m guessing Etsy might be a great place to start. 😉

-Out of the Wilderness