Encounter with a car salesman

Today I brought in my Nissan Versa because of an air bag recall. Evidently when the airbags deploy, shards of metal can cause serious injury or death. Yeah, I’m gonna need you to fix that, kthanx.

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The replacement process took about 2 hours so to kill time I strolled over to the “sales” side of the Nissan dealership. I was very clear and upfront with the salesman that I would not be making a purchase today, but I wanted to take a look around the lot.

He showed me an assortment of offerings available in, or close to, my price range. The truth is I’ve loved my car. It has 195,000+ miles on it without a major breakdown (although I think I’ve had breakdowns in the car, but that’s a whole other story!). Is the windshield cracked? Sure. Does it have an eagle on the back bumper? You betcha. What’s that spot of rust? Oh, it’s a spot of rust. When’s the last time cruise control has been operational? Since Obama was in office… the first time.

So here’s what I can gather about the tactics of a salesman:

  1. I’m your friend. In other words, make the buyer your buddy by finding some common ground. Today he casually mentioned that he benches 315 lbs and I can’t for the life of me remember how we got there. But then it hit me, I was wearing a Planet Fitness shirt. You know, the free ones they give you when you join? I think he must’ve seen that and taken a chance that being healthy/working out is one of my interests, so he stealthily brought it up.
  2. Good cop/ bad cop. A few times when I asked what the price was on a certain car, he’d say something like, “Oh, I just show you the cars you want to see, it’s my boss’s job to get the price to where you want it. But this one is great!” *proceeds to show me a particular car*
  3. The perfect time to buy. I was told more than once that based on the time of day, the day of the month, and the month of the year that this was a great time to buy. They’re willing to take a hit on the car they sell me because they can make up the difference on cars the sell later today, later this month, etc.
  4. Lean, baby, lean. The body language. When the salesman’s manager came over to talk, I was seated in front of the sales desk. He postured himself at the corner of the desk and proceeded to lean in towards me as he talked up a steal of a deal. I’m guessing it’s some sort of body language intimidation tactic. But he was nice and didn’t come across as pushy or insincere. Seemed likable. Wait… dang it, he got me!

I was shown a Hyundai Sonata, a Nissan Altima, and another Versa. All these were newer models than my 2008. I really liked the Versa the best. It’s 7 years newer than mine but still had a familiar interior.

It was funny chatting with the salesman and his boss. In moments of down time my mind wandered to the grand picture of people’s personalities and how we’re wired differently. If I were a salesman I’d chat about whichever car and then kind of leave the ball in the shopper’s court, maybe even advise them to wait, to sleep on it, etc. But today I was pitched, and pitched, and then pitched some more about trading in my car with it’s broken handle and unpainted fender– oh yeah, it’s got a broken handle and an unpainted fender– for a blowout of a deal.

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I was also using the opportunity to practice saying no. Sometimes I have a hard time with this. So I’d pepper in statements like, “Well, I’m not buying a car today,” or “I’m just browsing.” They seemed to acknowledge my position but continued with the pitching.

All the pitching!

Once my car was repaired and ready to hit the road again, I actually left it on the lot. Who has two thumbs and bought a car today? This guy! No, just kidding. I didn’t buy anything. Much to the disappointment of the salesman and his leaning boss.

-Out of the Wilderness

Being single at 38 years old

NOTE: This was originally written last spring but I recently decided to go ahead and share it. Life in and out of the dating world can be a roller coaster emotionally. Count the following as a moment of bare honesty on my roller coastery journey.

I’m not exactly sure where this post will go, but I wanted to write down thoughts I’ve been having as a single guy at my old age. Old! That’s how I feel some days. Usually that sensation comes over me the night of, or the morning after, playing basketball or volleyball. I move a little slower, I groan a little more, I tighten my bathrobe a little more snugly around me. I’m pretty happy with where my life is, with what I’m doing, and the friends I spend time with. Is this where I thought I’d be at 38? The truth is, I don’t ever remember thinking about where I’d be at 30 or 40. And even though I feel old sometimes, I feel really good other times.

I also think I’m past the question, “Why aren’t you married yet?” …because I haven’t been asked it in ages. The answer is always the same: haven’t found the right one yet. That’s partly true. I’ve dated on and off for the past few years and I’ve been in the company of greatness. But for whatever reason the relationships fizzled and died, or never even really started. There have been a handful of dates that would have never happened, if I knew how they’d go. I’m thinking of one at Buffalo Wild Wings, or another attending a Ben Rector concert.

Disasters!

But truthfully, those, and other less memorable one-hit wonders, as in “I wonder why we are here, now, together,” have helped me get to where I am. A little more mature. A little more focused. A little less hopeful. Yes, I said less hopeful. It’s hard to keep hope alive all day every day.

In fact, I’d say it’s impossible.

In fact, stay away from people who are positive all the time, they’re hiding something!

In fact, you don’t want to be there when they explode.

I’ve gone through periods of great hope, great excitement. I want to be there again but I’m in a season of doubt right now. Doubt about marriage, doubt about even wanting to date. Because dating might lead to marriage, and I’m not even sure I want that. We’re taught through many ways that finding a partner will make life worthwhile, that you can be on top of the world like Jack and Rose if you find the other half of you. I don’t really believe that’s true. Life is worthwhile even without marriage. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

Do you want to know the thought on the forefront of my mind the past week or so? It’s this…

Who’s going to take care of me when I’m old?

My mind drifts to 50 years from now when one of my nieces is stuck with checking in on their cenile uncle. You know, the one who never got married and had all the goats? He keeps mumbling about wanting more tattoos but his whole body is covered.

OK, OK, sometimes I think I’ll get a few more tattoos, not all over my whole body, though! But that would be me: the crazy, single, never-married uncle who didn’t reach his potential as a husband or maybe even a dad.

People get married later in life. People get divorced later in life. People stay single their entire lives. So many different stories. I’m in the middle of mine, just wondering if a co-writer might come along who can help me, and let me help them, through the next few dozen chapters.

How “Never Ever” hooked me…

The other day it finally dawned on me why I really like the 57-second intro for this song from 1997. The worldwide hit by All Saints is called “Never Ever,” and I never ever put two and two together that the music underneath the spoken intro is “Amazing Grace”!


A completely intentional move on the part of the band, and a good one, I might add. They add a slight variation to the centuries old hymn, but there’s enough there that this old wily detective finally caught on, two decades later. :/

While researching this, I was surprised to discover “Amazing Grace” is originally the tune of a song called “New Britain.”


I also came across an article that explains in more detail how the band used AG in their song, but here’s a snippet:

A text within a text. “Never Ever” does have something special of this sort. In its harmony it explicitly refers to an old popular song, “Amazing Grace”, which has become part of our collective musical consciousness. In “Never Ever” the chords of the first four measures of this hymn are clearly audible behind the spoken intro, as they are accentuated by the piano accompaniment and the voices in the background. And the ghost of this song will stay there for the remainder of “Never Ever”. This overlay of songs turns the songlines of “Never Ever” into a text within a text.

-Out of the Wilderness

The time my dog ate my dinner

PiperThere I was, relaxing and looking forward to a night in. Maybe turn on Netflix? Maybe check out some YouTube videos? It was shaping up to be a good night, that much was certain.

There it was, my dinner fresh out of the oven. This particular meal was veggie burgers, one of my favorites right now. I had set the baking sheet with the burgers on top of the stove, thinking, “This seems out of the dogs’ reach.” I stepped away for a second and lo and behold, Piper surprised me.

There she was, eating something off the kitchen floor. Had she managed to paw the veggie burgers off the stove? I knew she was food driven but this was quite a feat. I was resigned to the fact that my much-anticipated dinner was down the tubes. Or was it?

There they were, two beautiful 4-ounce Sweet Earth veggie patties still waiting to be arranged atop a ketchup-layered bun. But then what was Piper eating? This is where things went in a direction I did not see coming. It took a second for my mind to process that a treat I gave Piper earlier made her stomach upset which caused her to make them reappear on the kitchen floor, along with the doggy-doo she had just eaten from outside.

There it is, the full truth and nothing but the truth– and I’ve said it before— my dog eats her own poop. But now she’s taken it to a whole new level. Not only will she eat her own poo, she’ll also vomit it back up, and eat it again.

Here I am, writing about it because well, this is my life as a dog owner. But hey, I’m a dog owner that got to eat is awesome dinner that night, so there’s a silver lining for ya!

-Out of the Wilderness

 

Making a successful/viral video

There are many ways for a video to go viral, but I’d like to focus on one: The candid shot when something crazy happens. It’s not enough to show a clip of an alligator crossing a street. But a turtle riding on the alligator’s back while it crosses the street? Now you’ve got something. Take look at this clip…


A lot of the clips in the video above illustrate my theory that your candid shot has to have at least 2 elements for it to go viral:

  1. The thing that may or may not be kinda cool on it’s own (i.e. a deer in the road)
  2. The completely wild element that makes the clip bazaar and amazing (i.e. 2 deer fighting in the road)

As you come across clips on YouTube and other websites, examine if they have one or both of these elements. When you’re shooting video, be on the lookout for that special ingredient that’ll take your video from mundane and common to extraordinary and rare!

-Out of the Wilderness