Posting daily at 1pm central about all kinds of things. One day it's dating, the next it's TV commercials. I hope you're entertained. Professional photos on SmugMug – https://benwilder.smugmug.com
I spend a lot of time in elevators at work. I’m running floor to floor, going to lunch, and of course leaving to go home. To avoid an awkward silence for 20 seconds, I’ve noticed there are a few go-to subjects, and these can work on any elevator across the country.
1. Weather. Try this: “Gosh, it’s so cold outside!” Note: There’s a better ROI when it’s so cold outside.
2. Day of the week. Try, “Hey, we’re a day closer to the weekend.” People like weekends. And this can naturally lead into…
3. “Any big plans for the weekend?” Also, be prepared to answer this very question.
4. If you’re feeling adventurous, try “They should’ve put stairs between the floors.” Using this will add “athletic” to your reputation, whether you ever workout, play sports, or use any stairs ever.
5. Another common topic is where the car is because my work location is above 9 floors of parking. If we don’t park where we always park, we’re lost for another 5 minutes.
Do you ride elevators? If so, what do you talk about? Comment below!
Here’s the riddle: You can jump in it, take it, and throw it. What is it?
Well, I’ll tell you what it’s not… me. For about 3 days Nashville was so cold the pipes to the water heater froze. Think about that for a second: No hot water. So if your thoughts led you to to the conclusion that I must not’ve taken a shower during that time, well I won’t confirm or deny. But I will say this: there wasn’t a moment were I stood in a tiled enclosure and let water fall on me. Glean from that what you will.
I recently met up with a few friends to watch The Fast and the Furious 6. We all kind of knew what to expect. The cars wouldn’t be slow and happy. There would be comedy relief thanks mostly to Tyrese. But one thing we didn’t expect is the… cue the three one-word sentences… longest. runway. ever. Runways in most movies are your standard size, sometimes short enough to cause a dramatic barely-avoiding-disaster takeoff. But this one? Nope. Plenty of room ahead, guys. Take your time. We need you to keep the engines at full throttle for the entire final act of the movie. It’ll be fine. It’ll make sense.
Maybe because you wanted it, got it as part of a bundle deal, it was inherited through marriage, or you just never got rid of the N64 you had in college, but according to Nielson research over half of all households own a gaming console. That doesn’t mean everyone actually plays them, like my Wii, for instance. Up until a few weeks ago, I almost forgot I had it and that’s when it occured to me that I should either use it or sell it. So I fired it up. There are the obvious favorites like Wii bowling, Mario Kart, and often my choice, Excite Truck. But it was one of my first few friends in Nashville that got me hooked on Dr. Mario. Sarah and her roommate Kara had an original Nintendo so on nights I was downtown working late, I’d stop by their apartment on the way home. I’d say it was to unwind with a few Dr. Mario wins, but 1. The matches were intense and 2. Sarah usually won.
Now I have Dr. Mario on the Wii and when I powered the console on, I decided to call in a prescription that can only be filled by one guy. A plumber actually. That’s right. I knocked off the rust and sharpened my virus-killing skills. There’s a reason why this particular game has been popular since it’s introduction in 1990. I’m obsessed. I play in the morning, in the evening, during halftime of any game I’m watching. Manipulating the pills as they drop is as addicting as real pills! I almost feel like I need to go to rehab. But it’s not a problem, I can quite whenever I want.
I was a junior in high school living in New York City. We had just moved there from Miami, Florida, where we had been for 3 years. Our stay in New York wasn’t for long, only 6 months because my dad retired from the Coast Guard. We couldn’t continue living on the military base (Governor’s Island) so we packed up and moved to Tallahassee, Florida. I wasn’t sad about the move because during the 6 months I was able to do make some memories: snow skiing, sitting in the audience for a taping of The Late Show with David Letterman, playing flag football, learning how to type fast, trying out for the school basketball team, and whitewater rafting with my dad. But one thing I wasn’t able to do was get my braces taken off. I was in 9th grade when I got them. Why? Well, let’s just say the theme song for my teeth was Fleetwood Mac’s…
Some people had buck teeth. I had a buck tooth. And none of my other teeth pointed the right way either. I got braces in Miami, kept them in New York, and it was my senior year at Leon High School (go Lions) in Tallahassee when they were finally removed. “Phew! Just in time for my senior pictures!” But it was in New York that the unsolved case of the missing retainer happened.
One night, a lot like any other, I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed. I dutifully inserted the retainer which I was supposed to wear while I slept. However, when I woke up the next morning, it was gone. Ruh roh Raggy. I checked everywhere. The bathroom trash. My bed sheets. Under the bed. Beside the bed. Under the pillow? Nope. Days went by and the retainer was still missing in action. When it came time to move, I thought, “OK, now that retainer will turn up!” It didn’t. To this very day, I can’t explain what happened that night. The only chance of reopening this cold case is to find the retainer in the box of my stuff in my parent’s attic. And honestly, I hope it’s not there. That would be gross. Can you imagine the smell? Of course, I’m curious how much a vintage 1996 retainer would go for on eBay.
The moral of the story is that sometimes things just go away and you have to be alright with that. It could be a retainer or it could be a person you love. In the end your teeth might still be a little crooked and so might be the path you take, but you should still smile, and smell the roses along the way.
Out of the Wilderness 