Fantasy Football Week 4 Update

Let’s talk fantasy football, shall we? Since, oh I don’t know, about 5 games into last season I was looking ahead to this season. Why? Because my beloved Billy Oceans were still looking for their first win. It took 4 more weeks to find the W. Yeah, it pretty much ruined the entire fall season for their owner… me. I’d show up to work Mondays and Tuesdays with a chip on my shoulder. But Tuesday nights the clouds would clear because that was when players on the waiver became available! Then Thursdays Yahoo! gave their expert opinion on each player’s outlook for the upcoming week. Forgetting the previous week couldn’t happen fast enough (and often didn’t). I was desperate for a win, no doubt. I ended up with a disastrous 1-12 record. Embarrassing from any angle.

But rising from the ashes, the Billy Oceans exploded into the 2014 season with a 1-0 record. A feeling of relief when I get my second win… which hasn’t happened yet. I’m 1-2 now and the ghost of seasons past could very well be walking up the driveway. If I don’t win this week (week 4), the bone-chilling thought of a repeat season will tumble around my mind like a lone shoe in the dryer. Loud thumps I can’t ignore. But my tight end already got 20+ points from 3, yes 3, touchdowns on Thursday night. Thank you Larry Donnell! Because of you, my actual tight end is relaxing a little… till Sunday rolls around.

The Best Love Song: Reasons #6 and #7

I was in my car the other day and my iPod shuffled to “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You,” a song that, if you’re over the age of 30, will undoubtedly remind you of Robin Hood. And no, not the Russell Crowe movie from 2010. Nineteen years earlier Sherwood Forest was host to Bryan Adams performing the best love song of all time.

Type in “the best love song of all time” in the Yahoo! search tool bar and you’ll get a wide spectrum of results*, everything from “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton to “Unchained Melody” by the Righteous Brothers to “Best Love Song” by T-Pain. No doubt two of those are amazing and one has a clever song title. And I can assure you T-Pain’s stab at creating a timeless classic falls t-painfully short. See what I did there?
“(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” has at least 27 elements that make it the best love song of all time.
Reason #6: the lyrics. Can you put together an argument that these lyrics are not the most romantic? “My eyes… search you. Tell me… you know it’s true. Look… there… take… it all. I… want… everything. There’s… love… and… there’s… time. You can’t… help. I can’t… die.”

No further explanation needed.

Reason #7: the guitar riffs in this song are dripping with emotion. Check out the music video below, when it gets to 2:27 exactly, you’ll hear a subtle rarrt rarrt. Sorta like a rerhh rhrr but with a dash of ert ert. Emotional stuff.
So in conclusion, Bryan Adams and his band, along with his buddies Robin of Locksley, Maid Marian of Dubois, Azeem, Will Scarlet and the Sheriff of Nottingham have clearly raised the bar so high, no song will ever surpass it as the greatest love song of all time, especially because of reasons #6 and #7.

*Type in the worst love song of all time and I hope you’ll find “I’m Too Sexy”… let’s try it… standby… yep!

An Unschooled Look Into Personalities

I stumbled across an email I sent to a friend of mine in 2005 (Yahoo! saves sent messages). When I saw his name again, I was reminded of a social phenomenon. In each group of friends I’ve been in, there’s always “the weird guy.” In 2005 I was living in Tallahassee, FL after graduating college. The friends I spent the majority of time with were the inner circle. Then the outer circle. Then the sattelites. The “weird guy” could infiltrate any of these levels. I began to think about who else was in these groups. I came up with some labels.

“The Weird Guy”: Girls are uncomfortable around him because he’s either asked three or more of them out on a date, or one of them more than three times. That or he uses his eyes when he should be using his words, ie. he’s staring.

“Indiana Jones of the South(west Airlines)”: The friend that’s in town one weekend and out the next. This guy/girl is a bit mysterious, and is attractive to the opposite sex because of their adventurous nature and limited availability.

“The Party”: In a make or break scenario, this person always makes. When they arrive, the party starts.

“The Thinker”: Who you go to when you need someone wiser than yourself.

“The Satellite”: Whether you know it or not, and whether you like it or not, they’re always hovering around.

“The Dark Horse”: Quietly munching on carrots in the back of the super bowl party, he/she is mysterious, but funny when it counts, and lends a hand when needed.

“The Database”: Full of knowledge on many subjects.

“Captains of IMDb”: The person that quotes well-known movie lines and some abstract quotes only other “Captains” would know.

“Justin Texterlake”: The cool guy that texts all the time. He’ll text you when he’s with other people, and text other people when he’s with you.