WordsAllSmooshedTogether

Anyone know the plural of “y’all”? It’s “all y’all.”

Anyway, it’s been going on since the first redneck said “y’all.” I’m talking about combining words to make shorter words. This sort of mashing up doesn’t really concern me, because it’s unstoppable. But a recent trend isn’t sitting well with me. Combining words that have no business being combined. Over the course of some months I jotted a few down. Let’s start with the one girls invented… brunch. Men don’t eat brunch. We eat breakfast. We eat lunch. Anything in between is just another breakfast, or a first lunch. Here’s the rest of the list.

liger2Brunch. More on this, here.
Cassingle. A cassette tape featuring a single song from your favorite artist.
Liger. A cross between a lion and a tiger. Bred for it’s skills in magic.
Infotainment. Car commercial promoting the vehicle’s information/entertainment system.
Twitterverse. Not a real universe.  
blogosphere. Wrong on many levels.
Brangelina. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
Bennifer. Ben Affleck and any Jennifer he’s dating/marrying at the time.
Minajesty. Often a sarcastic reference to Nicki Minaj.
Beautimous. I heard this on Honey Boo Boo. Beatiful + ??? = Beautimous.
Twerk. Twerking. To work. People all over the country are getting in trouble for this one. Even Miley Cyrus.

And the worst of them all… Subway’s “FebruANY.” C’mon son. That’s elementaweak.

februany

I Love Mary Jane

I was a 3rd grader at Maximo Elementary School in St. Petersburg, Florida. This was the year a substitute teacher, Mrs. Bee, had a seisure. One of the scariest things I’ve ever seen but it did have a silver lining. The pretty teacher next door, I got to sit in her lap as a way to deal with my pain and suffering. Oh, and Mrs. Bee was fine. That’s important, too. It was also in 3rd grade I met the funniest person I’ve ever known. This kid made me laugh so much until one day he didn’t show up to school. A few days later his mom came and gathered his things from the classroom. I didn’t think that was funny at all. But the best memory of 3rd grade was when I fell in love with Mary Jane.

She was the object of my heart’s affection. So much so that I filled up the back cover of one of my little notebooks with the phrase, “I love Mary Jane. I love Mary Jane. I love Mary Jane,” over and over until there was no room left. Maybe it was the way she colored outside the lines. Maybe it was how fast she ran during recess. But obviously, I was OCD’ing for her big time, and the back of my notebook proved it. Was it love? Probably not. But to this day, the name Mary Jane is special because of that little 3rd grade crush. Her parents probably named her that for other reasons that we didn’t understand at such a young age, but I’ll continue assuming it’s a family name. And I’ll continue with the memory of Mary Jane as the first girl I loved. Even before Cyndi Lauper. 

mj

Wacky Wednesday: Fantastic Voyage

The other day I was returning home from a trip to Sam’s Club and came up on an old Lincoln Towncar with little tires. It was bouncing up and down and I thought to myself, “Hey, the mid-90s called and want their hydrolics back!”

Looking Up at Stars

Seems like every day there’s a new star in the news. Just a quick glance at Google News includes stories about Chris Brown, Ronnie from Jersey Shore (really??), Victoria Beckham, Lady Antebellum, and Selena Gomez, just to name a few. Some of these stars you can look up to, and others not so much. But there are a group of stars you can always look up to, or at. Just have to wait till the sun sets!

One of my favorite things to do at night is look at stars in the sky. If you’ve never driven away from city lights, set up a blanket in a field, lay down and look up, you’re missing out. At first, you’ll see a lot of stars. But when you let your eyes adjust, maybe 10 minutes or so, you won’t believe the breathtaking amount of stars you’ll see. It’s absurd and absurdly awesome.

So I’ve got a couple of questions as this short post wraps up, why do we call famous people stars? And isn’t it ironic that society uses the word “star” to make us feel big, but looking at actual stars makes us feel small.

Have a great week!
-Out of the Wilderness

Selena Gomez
Selena Gomez

Country Music Marathon in Nashville, Tennessee

Thousands and thousands of people are running in the Country Music Marathon this morning. It reminds me of one of my favorite memories from the past year. It was last year’s race. I was taking Flat Stanley all around Nashville and was even able to get a shot of him running in the marathon. I created a little bib for him and everything. I remember being shocked by how many racers saw my Flat Stanley cut-out and recognized him. So many comments like, “Oh hi Flat Stanley!” or “There’s Stanley!” It turned out to be a fun morning watching the race and taking pictures of Flat Stanley. For the Stanley photos, click here. Also check out the video I made including Stanley at the marathon.