The perfect walk with my dogs… until this happened :(

I walked my dogs the other day around our normal route. It’s a bit over a mile looping through my neighborhood. We were really huffing it and I was proud of them! I kind of used dinner as a motivation… “Ready to eat?” is the go-to question and they both know exactly what it means. I ask this especially when they get stuck on sniffing one blade of grass for 5 minutes.

They were real champs though. What normally takes a bit over 30 minutes was about to happen in under 25 minutes!! We break records here in Nashville. I guess they were really looking forward to dinner, huh?

We were about a minute from the house, which I could see in the distance. Then it happened. Well, I should say earlier it happened… someone tossed out a half eaten candy bar! Who DOES that? So, of course, my beagle (who’s really a nose with a dog attached to it) found it and inhaled everything. I quickly shoved my hand in her mouth so she wouldn’t eat the wrapper along with the chocolate and barely avoided her sharp teeth and firm bite! I pulled out the wrapper, which seemed to just slowly slither out of her mouth as she fully disagreed with what I was doing.

At this point my hand is covered with dog slobber and wet chocolate. Lovely.

The idea of making it home in record time was still possible, but it wouldn’t be under 25 minutes. It was 26 minutes. That lazy person throwing out their chocolate bar ruined everything!!

OK, not really. We still had a good walk even though it ended with some drama. I mean, have you ever had to simultaneously keep two dogs away from human food, while one of them is doing everything she can to eat everything she can? It can be wild, I tell ya!

-Out of the Wilderness

Joe Biden Exercises With “Basement to 5k” Plan

Greenville, DE — Similar to the popular exercise program “Couch to 5K,” designed to help couch potatoes achieve in about 9 weeks the ability to run a 5K, Joe Biden is exercising with the “Basement to 5K” plan. The plan is simple, says a source close to the former Vice President:

Joe is in the golden years of his life so we just want to keep his body from total atrophy. This ‘Basement to 5K’ thing seems to be working but we have no idea what we’ll do, or how long Joe will last, if he actually wins the election.

Anonymous

This mention of ‘the golden years’ is referring to the time in a person’s life after retirement when they typically slow down and have fewer responsibilities, fitting for Biden who has meals and meds delivered to his bedside while other politicians campaign on his behalf. Biden’s team believes the basement of his sprawling Delaware home is the safest place for the Presidential nominee to avoid contact with anyone showing coronavirus symptoms, or anyone asking difficult questions like, “How is your run for Senate going?” or “Can you tell us more about Corn Pop?”

His physical trainers say what gives Joe a pep in his step is the reward of sniffing the hair of head trainer Richard Simmons if he can catch him.

The “Basement to 5K” plan is a win/win for Joe. In the present, it keeps his nearly 80-year old body from completely shutting down and in the future, he’ll be comfortable being outside for just a few minutes each day in any Federal prison to which he is sent.

-OTW News

Nominee For Vice President Encourages All Supporters To Buy Identical Converse Sneakers

Oakland, CA — While the Democrat nominee for President has been having small gatherings with cardboard cutouts, the nominee for Vice President made a splash on social media, campaigning across the country in a sporty pair of black and white Converse All Stars. Commonly known as Chuck Taylors, or Chucks, the shoes worn by the VP nominee were chosen very much on purpose.

[check out a new post: Joe Biden Exercises With “Basement to 5k” Plan]

Photo by Aidan Carney on Pexels.com

“These shoes are easy to find at a good price, and I want that for our followers– excuse me, for all Americans,” said the Democrat from California, following up by encouraging Democrats to pick up a pair to wear on election day, November 3rd.

“Matching outfits is important to demonstrate unity,” an official post on Twitter explains. “We are in this together as our party is propelled to victory like a comet shooting through the sky.” The potential Vice President also shared that November 3rd will be the day Democrats evolve to a level above Republicans.

A published list of required supplies for any Democrats hosting a watch party on election day are as follows:

  • low top black and white Converse.
  • applesauce or pudding.
  • beds for everyone to lay on at the same time.

Converse was made aware of the peculiar event and released a statement: “This has nothing to do with Converse.” They are hoping to curb any association with the Democrat plans, citing negative publicity may result in the shoe company having to retire this particular model for decades.

-OTW News

Joe Biden Hosts Grassroots Event with Room Full of Cardboard Cutouts

Cleveland, OH — After the last debate Joe Biden went right back to campaigning in key battleground states. Among the stops was a “grassroots” fundraiser in Cleveland, Ohio. Due to low turnout, a source confirming not one real person showed up, Biden campaign organizers hurriedly set up cardboard cutouts of likely Democrat voters.

[Nominee For Vice President Encourages All Supporters To Buy Identical Converse Sneakers]

Biden seemed completely unaware as he fielded questions, bumped elbows, and sniffed the hair of cutouts all around the room.

“These people here are exactly why I’m running for President,” Biden said in a statement to one reporter. “I want to be a leader they can trust. Where do I go now?” Biden’s handlers then shuffled him off to brush his teeth and put his pajamas on because it was just after 4 P.M.

-OTW News

Exercise goals for 2020, nearing the finish line

One of my goals for this year in regards to exercise is to run 250 miles and walk 250 miles. There are just over 2 months left and I’ll admit there were days I wasn’t sure I could do it. Today I feel good but with a bit of concern because here in Nashville it’s getting cold. Hey, I’m from Florida… if it’s not sunny and 80, I expect snow.

Me with a slight cool breeze:

So when and where I run or walk will definitely be affected by winter approaching. I’ve been in the habit of walking with my 2 dogs each day, about a mile, but I will be totally transparent– only 1 of us likes the cold weather. So me and my spirited beagle overrule the young adventurer in the family.

Here is a screenshot of my progress so far on the 250/250 goal:

You can see that if I just do about a mile and a half each day (combined) I will reach the goal. Awesome! I’ve been using both the Garmin VivoActive HR and the Forerunner 245. They have been great GPS watches for tracking, as well as entertainment– the Forerunner is the “music” version of the watch so having a playlist right on my wrist has been really nice and convenient.

I am determined to reach this goal, but as the temperature falls I will have to adapt… and probably take some walks and runs in the cold.

-Out of the Wilderness