Ali Fedotowsky The Bachelorette, Episode 1.

Meet the Bachelors!

Cue music, cue last season’s highlights, cue Ali Fedotowsky! Coming off a tough breakup with Jake Pavelka where Ali was “forced” to choose between her job and her man, she chose her job and lost her chance at love, until now— the sixth edition of The Bachelorette! Before 25-year-old Ali met the twenty-five guys, she rattled off a list of promises for this season:

1. not going to let fear hold her back.
2. find “that guy”.
3. not going to let go of love this time.
4. going to be strong.
5. grow and become a better person.
6. leave with no regrets.
7. determined to get that great man and move forward with an open mind and heart.
8. hoping she’s standing in some amazing place with tears in her eyes looking at a man down on one knee asking her to be his wife.

Also, if you didn’t hear the first 10 times it was mentioned, she quit her job and “left everything” to come do this show which, according to Chris, will be a party like we’ve never seen before! We’ll be the judge of that, won’t we? Time to meet the guys. The first limousine arrives with five men inside: Chris H., Jesse, Chris L., Ty and Frank. All five later get a rose. The second limousine arrives with Justin, Jay, Chris N., Kasey, and Kyle. Three of these men get a rose. Roberto, Craig M., John N., Tyler V. and John C. all arrive in limousine three. All but one later get a rose. The next limousine has four guys that will receive a rose: Jonathan, Craig R., Steve and Kirk. The fifth guy, Tyler M., made a fatal error in wearing boots just like Ali did when she first arrived to meet Jake. Only Ali didn’t wear boots. Goodbye Tyler. Limousine five might as well been decked out in camouflage because Hunter the outdoorsman is the only one who gets a rose. The other four include Derek, Phil, Shooter and Jason.

All the guys have arrived and Ali steps inside to begin the mingling. At one point Ali is asked what she’s looking for in a mate. She gives the formulaic answer of a guy who’s smart, funny, and wants to treat her right. Wow, that narrows it down.

For a closer look on each bachelor, click here.

After watching the two-hour season premiere, I’ve chosen who will make it to the top three. Ali Fedotowsky will pick either Roberto, Justin, or Kirk. But will she keep her list of promises? Will the man she chooses propose to her in some amazing place? We shall see! Thanks for reading, check out my recap for episode 2 here.

Routine

In the summer of 2000, I worked at Kanakuk Kamps in Lampe, Missouri. In fact, I worked there for that summer and the next two. One of my favorite parts of the camp was the kitchen. Talk about good food, the cooks there were good at what they did. However, on days I wasn’t in the mood for “Frito Love,” there was peanut butter and jelly. Not secretly my favorite sandwich of all time. One day, as I sat down with a couple of sandwiches in my normal seat at the middle table, the director of the camp said to me, “creature of habit.” He was referencing how I chose to sit in the same spot pretty much every single meal. He was right on the money. I guess I never realized how routined I was until he said it. And routines are a good thing. They provide stability, normalcy, a way to measure growth and progress, and as was my case at the camp, safety and comfort. I began working at this camp without knowing anyone. It was far away from my family, and all of my friends. So having my place to sit and eat meals became familiar. And I can’t think of anything more important for a person who feels out of place than familiarity.

Fast forward to 2009, and I was still that same creature of habit. Between balancing work, friends, and whatever else came up, I developed a routine that worked. I started my job at nine, worked out at the YMCA during lunch, and went home at six. Then in December I got a puppy. Hello new routine.

If I could quickly offer some advice, when you’re considering puppy adoption, do it! And also, do it in the spring or late summer. Training a dog in the winter is cold, exhausting, and cold. I learned the hard way that I was slower at putting on warm clothes at 4 A.M. than she was at making yellow puddles. So adopt a dog, then buy some carpet cleaner. My dog’s “accidents” became less and less frequent, however, when I learned the most important ingredient in training, routine. Through establishing a routine, I got better (and more) sleep, and she learned to hold it till she was outside. Routines are a good thing.

We are all creatures of habit and even though we may stray a bit on day to day activities, our weeks, months, and years will highlight an overall routine. And that’s a good thing. It means you are stable. Just remember, there’s a fine line between routine and rut. So have enough of a routine to feel safe, but every so often shock the system by sitting in a different spot.

Personalities: Justin Texterlake

The cool guy that texts all the time. He’ll text you when he’s with other people, and text other people when he’s with you.

“Justin Texterlake” is a flirt. Let’s just get that right out there in the open. If there’s a way to communicate with a girl, whether it be texting, Facebook chatting, or face to face, he’s got little fear of putting himself out there. For the most part, JT is friendly with everyone and, therefore, has a lot of friends, both guys and girls. He’s a likable character and definitely has qualities shared by “The Party” and possibly “The Indiana Jones of the South.” What sets him apart, though, is the constant flirtation and the oblivious disregard for conversational etiquette. This is glaringly obvious when you’re with Mr. Texterlake. In trying to have a conversation with him, you’ll notice him checking his phone. He’ll ask you a question and during your answer, he’s typing into his device. You want to believe he’s taking notes on your informational answer, but deep down you know he’s trying to score a date for the weekend. Then you ask him a question, and he answers with a question, “What?” You begin to wish of a simpler time, like ten years ago when the only device “Justin Texterlake” had was a Startac phone which he, of course, upgraded to include a long-life battery. Or fifteen years ago when all he had was a beeper and a 143 charm on his necklace.

This label is based on a popular entertainer for good reason because “Justin Texterlake” is popular, even with his faults, ie. lack of attention, ADD, short attention span, whatever you want to call it. The strengths of a Texterlake is his ability to network. Whether it’s for a weekend grill-out, or a Habitat For Humanity house build, he can be the go to guy for rallying a large group.

Now these characteristics I’ve attributed to a guy, but I’m curious if there’s a girl version of “Justin Texterlake.” In my circle of friends as they are now, I don’t know that there is one. What are her characteristics? Does she text a lot? How does she flirt? What sets her apart from other girls? All these questions will remain unanswered on this posting, because, quite frankly, I don’t know the answers.

I’d like to write more, but I just got a text from a Texterlake, so I need to go.

Personalities: The Dark Horse

Quietly munching on carrots in the back of the Super Bowl party, “The Dark Horse” is mysterious, but funny when it counts, and lends a hand when needed.

The Tennessee Titans are down by two with one second left on the clock. Jeff Fisher takes a timeout, then sends Rob Bironas in. The center hikes the ball as whistles blow. The opposing coach called a timeout. To make a long fake story shorter, Bironas kicked the winning field goal on the next play. The game is not the point here, because first of all, I made it up. You celebrate the win by high-fiving the thirty friends who are with you watching the game. Make that thirty-one. Behind couches and fold-out chairs, over near the dip and orange soda, you reach over to extend a high five to… “The Dark Horse.”

This person is often quiet. They don’t draw attention to themselves by what they say, it’s more about what they do. I knew a guy in college, Justin, who was a “Dark Horse.” Not only that, he was a work horse! He tirelessly served his fellow students in many ways, mostly doing jobs that were undesirable (cleaning toilets, taking trash to dumpsters, etc). His quiet nature added a bit of mystery to his appearance, but if you were to talk to him, you’d find yourself really liking him. He was genuinely one of the good guys.

“The Dark Horse” is one of the good guys (or girls).

While people are chatting about the game, “The Dark Horse” is sweeping up crumbs from a piece of pie someone dropped at halftime. This separation from the group will sometimes get “The Dark Horse” lumped into the label of “The Weird Guy.” It takes conversation to realize that’s a mistake, well, conversation or simple observation. As a career choice, people with this type of personality will most likely never be the president of a bank or a principal of a school. However, they will be leaders. And they will effectively get things done. “The Dark Horse” also shares characteristics of “The Database” and “The Thinker.”

Personalities: The Party

In a make or break scenario, this person always makes. When they arrive, the party starts.

I was walking my dog the other day and I saw two young boys playing in a neighboring yard. As I passed, one of the boys said, “Hi, this is my friend Wilson!” I responded and kept going on the walk. I have never talked to this boy before, but he addressed his comments to me as if we go way back. He was so excited for me to meet his friend, so much so that he never even told me his name! The young boy is a classic example of “The Party.” Very friendly, outgoing, the type that have never met a stranger. A cool person, for sure. These are the people you invite to parties you’re throwing. The people you hope are at the parties you’re going to. In fact all great parties have one single thing in common, the attendance of “The Party.” You can have good food, entertainment, all the right music and it will be a good party. But when “The Party” walks in, then, as a host, you can sit back and relax. You’re party just became an event. There are some drawbacks to inviting these people to your party, especially if you invite more than one. You’re undoubtedly taking a bold risk because having two or more show up at one party is like having too many cooks in the kitchen. Picture Jim Carrey in the same room as Jim Carrey. A sure bet would be to invite one far out enough that if it’s determined they can’t make the party, you have time to invite another one. I wouldn’t double up on these personalities because chances are they would butt heads, and the event suffers for it. Alone they are entertaining, fun, outgoing, and quick to make a clever remark. When there are two, nine times out of ten they become competitive, controlling, and loud. If you’re willing to take the chance on inviting more than one, and “The Party” is able to coexist with another, it’s called “They Party.”

“The Party” is a curious character. It’s hard to pin down which career most likely suits these firecrackers because they’d fit very easily in the entertainment industry. They’d also fit in the hospitality industry. But again, they may be the suit and tie kind of person from eight to five, which is why they let loose off hours.