World Series umpire reviews new Kanye West album during game 6

Houston, TX — A controversial play in the top of the 7th inning of World Series game 6 halted play between the Houston Astros and Washington Nationals for a quite a bit of time. With the score 3-2 in favor of the Nationals, Trea Turner (Nationals) hit a dinker towards third base. Fielded by the pitcher and rocketed to first baseman Yuli Gurriel, the ball arrived at the same time Turner did, causing some contact between Gurriel and Turner. As the ball went rolling into the outfield, Turner is called safe at first, and scurried to second base.

Protests from the Washington dugout was immediate. Umpires then gathered to review the play, as there was a lot at stake on this call. Confused yet passionate fans became restless awaiting the final decision from umpire Sam Holbrook.

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“The babysitter’s off at 11 tonight so if this guy doesn’t hurry it up, it’s gonna cost me,” said Marcus Franks, a Nationals supporter excited to watch his team possibly win game 6 in Houston.

“I’ve spent less time at the DMV,” said one Houston fan.

47 minutes later, Holbrook upheld the call of runner interference and the game went on. However, in a stunning turn of events, news leaked after the game concerning the lengthy review taken by the umpires. This controversial play was a judgement call, something umpires knew all along. So why the official review? A source within the league, who wishes to remain anonymous, revealed what exactly was going on during the extended delay.

“Kanye West. That’s it. He was listening to Kanye West’s new gospel album.”

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MLB umpire Sam Holbrook, with a look of conviction and repentance 

Though this was a peculiar time to break away from the rising stakes of the 2019 World Series, umpire Sam Holbrook has not yet been fined. According to Major League Baseball rules, when there is a pause in the game to make an official review, there are no instructions on what exactly needs to be reviewed.

A statement from MLB this morning says in part, “…while we don’t condone Mr. Holbrook’s actions or timing, we do think Kanye’s new album is fire.”

-Out of the Wilderness News

Spring Is Here!

I recently noticed the leaves on the trees in my backyard.

Spring is here!

One tree has a bunch of spinny things that float down to the ground. Another has some tiny green leaves. This weekend I will mow my grass.

Spring is here!

Television stations are airing finales and cueing up the re-runs. Flowers are blooming, the sun is shining overhead.

All this means one thing: Baseball is boring. And Spring is here!

Put down your Wii controllers and pick up a tennis racket. Turn off American Idol and go take a walk under the stars!

Spring is here…¬†and the NFL draft already happened!