The Bachelorette Ashley, Episode 7: Ryan P. Talks About Water Heaters

After a July 4th holiday break, The Bachelorette show comes back with fireworks of it’s own. From a date that ended with the guy sent home to a surprise rose recipient, episode 7 offered a dose of romance, a splash of humor and a few heart-breaking moments with past contestant Emily Maynard.

Let’s start with the good stuff.

that's me with a mustache

Ok, now on to the drama. Ryan P. is the last remaining contestant who has never got a one-on-one date and he’s determined to get one this week. There are three single dates so he’s got a chance but the first date went to Constantine. They take a train ride. This’ll probably be recorded as the shortest date in Bachelorette history because if you blinked, the next guy you saw was Ben F. Ben’s date began with a scooter ride up a mountainside. Major points to Ben for his Dumb & Dumber reference. Did you catch it? Was it:

A. telling the story of a guy he once met named Sea Bass
B. talking about Samsonite luggage
C. singing, “Goodbye my loooooooooove!” then bumping into the car ahead of him
D. a reference to Harry and Lloyd riding the mo-ped together

I’ll give a rose to whoever gets the right answer. So Ashley’s date with Ben F. went on and on… and on… and on…. until night turned into day. Where I come from we call that a sleepover. This made the guys jealous, especially J.P. He pouted, didn’t talk to the guys and the little vein in his head popped out. His low spirits made the group date almost unbearable for the two other guys there, Ames and Lucas. Doesn’t it suck when you’re on a date with a girl and one of the other guys on the date has a bad attitude? Man, that’s never fun. But anyway, J.P. got the group date rose. I guess it’s true what they say, “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.” Anyway, the last one-on-one date went to the joyous Ryan P.

Ryan: “Have I talked to you about water heaters?”

Not really. I got my pen and paper out, but son of a gun, right when he was gonna give advice on saving hot water and some money, they cut to an Ashley voice-over. Turns out water heaters aren’t the way to a woman’s heart, so Ashley sends Ryan home without a rose. My guess is that’s not the last we’ll see of Ryan P. Here’s a picture of my cousin Will getting married.

that's him standing by the bride

The last 20 minutes was dedicated to confirming what we knew two months ago. Brad and Emily are over. Minus five points for Emily’s reference to the catchphrase of the year, “dot, dot, dot…” Why must we somehow include Bentley in every episode? Although, “dot, dot, dot…” is a pretty fun thing to include in, what?
A. conversations

Yep, that’s the right answer. Ryan and Lucas were sent home without a rose. Roses went to J.P., Constantine, Ben F., and Ames. And my eBay package from China arrived torn and with nothing in it. Thanks a lot Postal Service.

"WE CARE"

Advertisements

Ali Fedotowsky The Bachelorette, Episode 2.

Welcome back! Episode 2 of The Bachelorette was full of drama, laughter, smiles, some kissing, and oh yeah, a downpour of corny weather jokes. Ali is obviously the star of the show, but this episode featured a subplot: the mounting surge of dislike between Jonathan the Weatherman and Craig M. from Canada. After watching the episode back, Jonathan spoke more of Craig M. than he did of Ali! Even during the one-on-one time with Ali, the conversation revolved around Craig M. Sidenote #1: You don’t win a girl’s heart by talking about other guys. It’s like going to a job interview and talking about someone else’s resume. Or better yet, talking about someone else’s cloud cover, if you know what I mean! Get it? Get it??? Ok, moving on. In this episode we saw Ali go on one group date and two individual dates. She had a rose for each date, so three guys could get a rose before the final ceremony, in which three are also getting eliminated. First date card goes to Clark Kent, I mean Frank. I don’t know how, but he’s already head over heels for Ali. That should worry you. He’s already said he feels like they’re a couple, even calling her his girlfriend. He may be good, but too much of a good thing is bad and I can see him smothering her to death. His over-the-top and lightning-quick commitment to her is the perfect set up for a meltdown. Even the big fins on the 1959 Cadillac they rode in won’t save Frank from himself. And hey, those were big fins! Frank is involved in too many adventures to be committed to one. Highlight of their one-on-one date:
They drink wine on the hood of the car. Ali teases Frank with the rose.
They eat cupcakes.

Lots of drama at the house in this episode. Craig R. is still suspect of Justin’s intentions and calls him out on it. The date card arrives. A couple of Craigs, Chris’, and a few others head to the beach for a photo shoot with photographer Michael Grecco. Chris Harrison explained the reason for the photo shoot: a calendar! Proceeds of the calendar sales go to an unnamed charity. Sidenote #2: Christmas shopping, done.

The guys were happy to be with Ali at the beach, but the winner on this date was Kirk for quoting a line from Dumb & Dumber. Nice move. After a randomly placed tug-of-war clip, Ty had photos taken while he sang to Ali. None of the other guys liked this, of course. Later Ty revealed that he’s been married and divorced. If big surprised eyes mean anything, then Ali’s either disappointed, or thinking about the next hit country song. Jonathan also gets some one-on-one time and calls Craig M. dangerous for Ali. Cue Ali’s big surprised eyes. Either she’s shocked by the news, or she came up with a third verse for Ty’s hit country song. She finds Ty and gives him a rose.

A new date card arrives at the house. A few corny weather-related jokes later, Jesse is named as the invitee. This guy is emerging as a match for Ali. On the outside, he’s a tattooed tough guy, but Ali sees more. A soft-hearted, good-natured man. He was nervous on their date, but by the end, some walls came down and they connected. Her gamble paid off on their date in Vegas, Jesse got a rose.

Before the final rose ceremony, Chris L. told Ali about his family. He’s got two brothers and talked very highly of them and the rest of his family. He’s emerging as a strong family-oriented guy. He hasn’t revealed yet that his mom died recently. He comments about his family: “they are who I am.” I’m trusting him and his teeth a little more now. Roberto spends some time with Ali, assures her he’s doing fine even without seeing her much in the past week. She’s giddy over him. He tells her about his baseball past. He gets a couple of gloves and they toss the ball. To accept baseball is to accept Roberto. There’s a good connection between those two. Later, Kasey’s time with Ali was interrupted by Clark—I mean, Frank the Smotherer and in one-on-one time with Craig M., Ali calls him out on his intentions. His disoriented jumbled responses did him no good. Cut to a shot of Jonathan standing in the shadows as Craig M. walks by. Storms-a-brewin’. Both of these guys are forgetting the reason they are there, however, Jonathan wins the battle by getting the last rose in the ceremony.

Here’s how the roses were dealt:
Frank (from the one-on-one date)
Ty (from the group date)
Jesse (from the one-one date)
Kasey
Hunter
Roberto
Chris L.
Justin
Steve
Kirk
John C.
Craig R.
Chris N.
Jonathan

Elimated were Craig M., Tyler V., and Chris H.

Check back next week for a recap of episode 3!

(click here for Episode 1 recap)