Ali Fedotowsky The Bachelorette, Episode 4.

So far the least dramatic of the four episodes, but evenso, two guys struck out without a rose. The award for most entertaining goes to Jonathan this episode, impressing me each time he swung his bat and hit a comedy homerun, after all didn’t he say his secret weapon was humor? With a rich arsenal of words and phrases like “dolt,” “shmuck,” “this storm crapped in my face,” and “beehive of knives,” he hit enough homeruns for both teams!Between he and Frank the Smotherer I don’t know who is more desperate. Kasey comes in a close third, his desperation revealed in the first one-on-one date of the episode. The date card clued us in that they’d be doing “what comes natural.” So I guess they’re going to breath and sleep. Maybe, if the date goes well, they’ll poop. After their helicopter takes off from the USS Intrepid, they touch down in a field and have a picnic followed by a trip to the American Museum of Natural History. Oh, that’s what natural meant. Ali doesn’t think Kasey is being genuine and tells him that. Ali throws a curveball by not giving him a rose but! also not sending him home. Steeeerrrrike! The count is no balls and one strike. As referenced in meet the bachelors, Kasey will not last long if Ali doesn’t see a dangerous side. He may be a good man, but is he a bad boy? Back at the Bachelor suite, the group date card arrives with the clue, “let’s play.” This date includes Roberto, Jesse, Craig R., Kirk, Jonathan, Frank, and Ty. They all assume it’s some sort of sports competition, but are disappointed to find out “play” meant “theater.” Another curveball! Low and inside, ball one.

The guys find Ali at a Broadway stage where they’ll be auditioning for The Lion King. The director listens to them perform on stage and has the honor of choosing which bachelor gets the next date with Ali. Roberto wins the director’s vote based on his performance. He’s a baseball player but didn’t expect another curveball when he and Ali were told they’ll also be performing in The Lion King that night. Just a bit outside, ball two! Jealousy ran rampant among the other guys, especially Jonathan who’d love to have two balls thrown at him.

Ali and Roberto rehearse for their debut on Broadway, and of course Roberto does very well, making the guys jealous, again. At the end of the night Ali is “under the weather” and I don’t mean Jonathan the weatherman. He wishes! Or does he? In not-so-dramatic fashion, Ali tells the guys there won’t be a rose given out on this group date. Kirk kindly escorts her to the suite where he helps her drift off to sleep. What a kind and gentle competitor. We haven’t seen much of Justin up to this point, and we’re going to have to wait longer because Chris L. got the next one-on-one date.

Curveball! Ali is too sick to go on the date with Chris L. but she didn’t want to let him down on his birthday, so she invited him to her suite. “Sweet,” thought Chris L. Later Ali felt better so they spent the evening out on the town. Josh(who?)a Radin performs a few songs on a rooftop for them. Chris L. gets to second base and scores a rose at the end of the date.

Adding some overhyped drama, Kasey sneaks off to begin what will be an embarrassing story he’ll tell his grandkids one day, and later Jonathan sings to a girl, an embarrassing story he’ll tell his therapist one day. Highlight of the episode goes to Chris L. when he said about Kasey’s tattoo, “So you’re gonna be the tattooed bachelorette guy for the rest of your life. That’s gonna be probably your nickname.”

In the end roses went to Chris L., Kirk, Frank the Smotherer, Craig R., Chris N., Roberto, Justin, Ty, and Kasey. Sent home were Jonathan and Jesse.

Check back next week for a recap of episode 5!

Kasey's shield and heart tattoo.

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Ali Fedotowsky The Bachelorette, Episode 3.

Episode 3 could be nicknamed the “Throwback Episode.” If you saw Ali’s outfit at the top of the show, you know what I mean. Hello 1984. Coincidentally, the same year Roberto was born. He got the first one-on-one date (he also got the very first rose in episode 1). It worries me that the producers are pushing him hard this early. No matter what the producers have in mind for us, though, the chemistry between he and Ali is undeniable! Right now Roberto has no faults. Could this be a setup for a devastating revelation later in the season? On their date they cuddle on the helipad. A couple of notable moments: she tustled her hair and, folks, that’s a huge signal. That and she’s as giddy as a Care Bear. She also said she wasn’t scared on the tightrope with Roberto. Flashback to one of her promises from the first episode (The Bachelorette, Episode 1.). I’ll admit I like Roberto. I felt some tears well up as their date ended and he asked her to remember him. He got a rose at the end of this date.

Next up, the group date with Kirk, John, Chris N., Frank, Jonathan, Craig R., Justin, Jesse, and Chris L. They drive out to a remote industrial area and join in a not so surprise concert by Canadian-band Barenaked Ladies. Hello 1998. They shoot scenes made for daytime soaps. Ali slaps Frank nine times. Skip to hot tub scene, poor John C. gets no touchy touchy with Ali Ali. Jonathan was nervous when going in for the kiss with Ali. He should pretend he’s upper level atmosphere and she’s an approaching storm. Then he could say stuff like, “If I said you had a warm front, would you hold it against me?” Bam. Chris N. makes Frank the Smotherer jealous because he gets a bed scene with Ali. Kirk also has a bed scene. I’m beginning to wonder what kind of “music” video this is. Do I need to pay a subscription fee to keep watching? Also, note that Frank the Smotherer has reached security level orange. Meltdown approaching! Pack your canned goods and notify the relatives.

After the shoot is over, Chris L. gets some alone time and reveals the story behind his tattoo (click to see his mom’s signature largely inked across his upper body). Jonathan pulls Ali aside and discusses the tear-filled music video kiss. Awkward levels rise above regulation. Is it safe to say Jonathan is going home this episode? Kirk gets a barely not naked Ali alone in the hot tub. A continuation of the soap opera scene earlier. Guys are shocked that, what! Ali’s kissing another guy? No! Frank the Smotherer and the rest of the guys cannonball into the hot tub. Justin has one leg in and one leg out of the pool. They watch the debut of the music video. Everyone loves it. And Kirk gets the second rose of the night.

Later, Justin lives out The Proclaimers “I Would Walk 500 Miles” to be with Ali. Ok, maybe only a few miles, but I bet he’d pass almost every penny on to her. Justin 1, the rest of the guys 0. Justin shows her his family pictures and discusses his parents divorce, as well as his intentions with kids (when he has his own). One-legged Justin scores a goooooooaaaaaaal. Goooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaal!!!!!!

Hunter prepares for his one-on-one date. Ali drops Justin off back at the house. He’s worried the guys will turn on him when they find out what he did. As of now, no one knows. After a commercial break, Justin lies to the guys. This will certainly not bode well with them when they find out. He should have kept it cool and been honest. Hunter’s excited about his date and Justin’s laughing on the inside. Again, not good for him. Ali takes Hunter back to her place. They eat dinner at the start of a low-key date. This is a good casual environment for Hunter (and most guys) to open up and be comfortable. They chat and then get in the hot tub. Is the romance there? Not looking like it, especially when Hunter has to tell Ali the rose is sitting close by. Ali drops the no-rose bomb.

Best scene of episode 3: In the hot tub, Hunter makes bubbles with his mouth, then kisses her shoulder.

The guys are back at their house, Justin keeps lying. Where’s Craig M. when you need a bad guy? Probably back in Canada looking for some bare naked ladies. The guys and Justin’s right leg have a heart to heart in the hot tub. Before the rose ceremony Chris L. scores some wicked one-on-one time with Ali, insurance that he’ll get a rose this time around. The guys find out Justin walked to Ali’s house and lied about it, cue the confrontation. Drama ensues. Clearly Justin is the new Craig M. Or is he the new Vienna? Hmmmmm? Either way, this episode just got an R rating for all the “I normally don’t cuss” cussing.

At the rose ceremony, Ali gives roses to Roberto, Kirk, Chris L., Jesse, Chris N., Ty, Kasey, Craig R., Frank, Jonathan, and Justin.

Eliminated this round: Hunter, Steve, and John C.

Check back in next week for a recap of episode 4!

Click here for a review of each bachelor.

Ali Fedotowsky The Bachelorette, Episode 2.

Welcome back! Episode 2 of The Bachelorette was full of drama, laughter, smiles, some kissing, and oh yeah, a downpour of corny weather jokes. Ali is obviously the star of the show, but this episode featured a subplot: the mounting surge of dislike between Jonathan the Weatherman and Craig M. from Canada. After watching the episode back, Jonathan spoke more of Craig M. than he did of Ali! Even during the one-on-one time with Ali, the conversation revolved around Craig M. Sidenote #1: You don’t win a girl’s heart by talking about other guys. It’s like going to a job interview and talking about someone else’s resume. Or better yet, talking about someone else’s cloud cover, if you know what I mean! Get it? Get it??? Ok, moving on. In this episode we saw Ali go on one group date and two individual dates. She had a rose for each date, so three guys could get a rose before the final ceremony, in which three are also getting eliminated. First date card goes to Clark Kent, I mean Frank. I don’t know how, but he’s already head over heels for Ali. That should worry you. He’s already said he feels like they’re a couple, even calling her his girlfriend. He may be good, but too much of a good thing is bad and I can see him smothering her to death. His over-the-top and lightning-quick commitment to her is the perfect set up for a meltdown. Even the big fins on the 1959 Cadillac they rode in won’t save Frank from himself. And hey, those were big fins! Frank is involved in too many adventures to be committed to one. Highlight of their one-on-one date:
They drink wine on the hood of the car. Ali teases Frank with the rose.
They eat cupcakes.

Lots of drama at the house in this episode. Craig R. is still suspect of Justin’s intentions and calls him out on it. The date card arrives. A couple of Craigs, Chris’, and a few others head to the beach for a photo shoot with photographer Michael Grecco. Chris Harrison explained the reason for the photo shoot: a calendar! Proceeds of the calendar sales go to an unnamed charity. Sidenote #2: Christmas shopping, done.

The guys were happy to be with Ali at the beach, but the winner on this date was Kirk for quoting a line from Dumb & Dumber. Nice move. After a randomly placed tug-of-war clip, Ty had photos taken while he sang to Ali. None of the other guys liked this, of course. Later Ty revealed that he’s been married and divorced. If big surprised eyes mean anything, then Ali’s either disappointed, or thinking about the next hit country song. Jonathan also gets some one-on-one time and calls Craig M. dangerous for Ali. Cue Ali’s big surprised eyes. Either she’s shocked by the news, or she came up with a third verse for Ty’s hit country song. She finds Ty and gives him a rose.

A new date card arrives at the house. A few corny weather-related jokes later, Jesse is named as the invitee. This guy is emerging as a match for Ali. On the outside, he’s a tattooed tough guy, but Ali sees more. A soft-hearted, good-natured man. He was nervous on their date, but by the end, some walls came down and they connected. Her gamble paid off on their date in Vegas, Jesse got a rose.

Before the final rose ceremony, Chris L. told Ali about his family. He’s got two brothers and talked very highly of them and the rest of his family. He’s emerging as a strong family-oriented guy. He hasn’t revealed yet that his mom died recently. He comments about his family: “they are who I am.” I’m trusting him and his teeth a little more now. Roberto spends some time with Ali, assures her he’s doing fine even without seeing her much in the past week. She’s giddy over him. He tells her about his baseball past. He gets a couple of gloves and they toss the ball. To accept baseball is to accept Roberto. There’s a good connection between those two. Later, Kasey’s time with Ali was interrupted by Clark—I mean, Frank the Smotherer and in one-on-one time with Craig M., Ali calls him out on his intentions. His disoriented jumbled responses did him no good. Cut to a shot of Jonathan standing in the shadows as Craig M. walks by. Storms-a-brewin’. Both of these guys are forgetting the reason they are there, however, Jonathan wins the battle by getting the last rose in the ceremony.

Here’s how the roses were dealt:
Frank (from the one-on-one date)
Ty (from the group date)
Jesse (from the one-one date)
Kasey
Hunter
Roberto
Chris L.
Justin
Steve
Kirk
John C.
Craig R.
Chris N.
Jonathan

Elimated were Craig M., Tyler V., and Chris H.

Check back next week for a recap of episode 3!

(click here for Episode 1 recap)

 

Ali Fedotowsky, Meet the Bachelors!

Episode recaps:
episode 4
episode 3
episode 2
episode 1

Here they are in order of the episode 1 rose ceremony:

Roberto: 26-year-old who recently moved to Charleston, SC. He grew up in Tampa, FL learning to admire his parents and wants a relationship like theirs. When he first met Ali, he complimented her, and she complimented him. He also spoke Spanish to her and said he’d teach her to salsa dance. He hadn’t said his name yet so Ali said she’d just call him “Cutie.” Roberto emerges quickly as a fan favorite, and the producers will edit the show that way. He got the first impression rose.
My take: Top three. I expect him to last a long time this season because he seems very likeable.

Justin: 26-year-old entertainment wrestler from Toronto, Canada. He claims he’s a villain in the ring, Mr. Rated-R, but opposite in real life. He appeared comfortable upon meeting Ali, though he was on crutches. In episode 1, he got some one-on-one time and explained the broken foot. Although some guys doubt, he claims he’s “there for the right reasons.” He also received a first impression rose, even after the guys vote him as the one who’s there for the wrong reasons.
My take: Some guys are threatened by him, so they want him eliminated. He seems genuine. Top three because either the audience will love him, or love to hate him, and this is a show producer’s dream.

Jesse: 24-year-old from Peculiar, Missouri. We don’t see much of him in episode 1, but Ali seems to favor him. He gets some one-on-one time with Ali. He brought her a box, about the size of a ring box. Inside is a wood heart, which he made with a jigsaw. His sister recommended the idea, so then he tells Ali more about his sister.
My take: Top ten. The dark horse of the competition. He’s a bit odd, but I like him so far.

Ty: 31-year-old from Franklin, Tennessee. He plays the guitar, his dog is left-pawed. He’s also recently divorced. He’s a classy guy from the country, polite. Ali isn’t bothered by him being a Southerner, she say’s it’s charming.
My take: I like him but don’t see him having a strong connection with Ali. Top ten but not top five.

Craig R.: 27-year-old from Pennsylvania. When he first met Ali he said he was nervous, although he seemed comfortable. He has a fatherly presence. This proved true when he pulled Ali aside, taking it upon himself to inform Ali of those that are here for the wrong reasons. He gives her a little yellow shoe keychain, and keeps one himself. One day he hopes they can pair them up. She appreciates him looking out for her.
My take: He set himself up as a big brother. Not a husband for Ali. Top fifteen but not top ten.

Tyler V.: 25-year-old from Chelsea, Vermont. One of the first things he says to her is that he’s excited she’s there and not flying around with Jake. Their encounter was comfortable.
My take: could be a dark horse. Top fifteen but not top ten.

Frank: 30- or 31-year-old from Chicago or Geneva. He tells Ali that he quit his job to chase his dreams. When he found out Ali was The Bachelorette, he was very excited. He’s the Clark Kent of this season. He’s already said he loves Ali, and they’re getting married. Arriving at the mansion to meet Ali, he climbs out the limo sunroof, so needless to say he’s got a flare for the dramatic. He seems nice, he’s adventurous and sees that same quality in Ali.
My take: he’s a firecracker, so Ali better be careful that he doesn’t blow up. I predict he’ll have some sort of meltdown which will cause his elimination. Top ten, possibly top five because producers love drama.

Steve: 28-year-old from Cleveland, Ohio. When he met Ali, he was comfortable and they had a good conversation. She likes this guy.
My take: Top ten.

Chris L.: 32-year-old from Cape Cod, Massachussetts. He moved to New York to teach at an inner-city public school. This will possibly set him up as an emotional favorite. When he met Ali, he acted a bit creepy. He uses words like “wicked” and lives with his dad, near his brothers. His mom died recently. Again, the emotional favorite.
My take: There’s something guilty about him that I don’t trust. I think it’s his teeth, however, I put him in the top ten, possibly top five.

Kirk: 27-year-old from Green Bay, Wisconsin. He cleverly made a rose out of a red napkin when he first met Ali. Later in the show, he also gave her a homemade scrapbook highlighting his personality. The guys made fun of him for this.
My take: girls like guys that spend time doing something special for them. If he keeps this up, he will go far. Top three.

John C.: 32-year-old from Issaquah, Washington. He talks a big game and aims to back that up by surprising Ali. He begins this crusade by getting down on a knee and giving her a cubic zirconia ring. He then asks for one on one time. She loved it. Sidenote: He believes Justin is a genuine person.
My take: little tricks won’t last. Top ten not top five.

Chris N.: 29-year-old from Orlando, Florida. Cleverly (yet unoriginal at this point) gave her a rose when he first met her. A classy move, though a bit corny. He was comfortable in conversing with her, and that’s about all we saw of Chris N.
My take: Top fifteen not top ten, only because the producers cut him out, they must have a reason.

Chris H.: 27-year-old from Vancouver, Canada. Upon meeting Ali, he was a gentleman. He was smart by keeping it casual. He made a light joke and moved on.
My take: A likeable guy, if he shows more personality and gets some face time with Ali, could go a long way. Top ten.

Hunter: 28-year-old from San Antonio, Texas. When he met Ali, he had something humorous planned, but could only say she was beautiful and he had to use the restroom. She laughed a lot at this and told him where to go. Later in episode 1 he played an original song on a Ukelele. This was clever and funny. Jason (who didn’t get a rose) called him “the nerd that never gets the girl.” He’s closer than Jason is.
My take: The Bob Guiney of this season. He’ll be likeable and funny, but ultimately, won’t end up with Ali. Top fifteen but not top ten.

Craig M.: 33-year-old from Toronto, Canada. He’s a little (or a lot) too into himself and his looks, even saying, “oh yeah!” as he checked himself out in a mirror. He’ll end up being the least-liked Canadian on the show because of his arrogant attitude.
My take: won’t make it to top fifteen.

Jonathan: 30-year-old from Houston, Texas. Claims his secret weapon is his humor. When he met Ali, he brought her a gift. He was very comfortable with her, but this is most likely because he’s a television weatherman. He’s talkative and hogged the conversation when he was with Ali and Craig M. Some of the guys don’t trust him quite yet.
My take: Is he looking for exposure? Outlook is unclear. Top ten but not top five.

Kasey: 27-year-old from California. He’s more of the serious-type. When he met Ali, he confessed his intentions right there on the spot. Ali said it was so sweet. He claims he’ll be there at the end down on one knee. During some one-on-one time, he told Ali he wants to guard and protect her heart. Because his dad cheated on his mom, Kasey is committed to never ever hurting a woman like that. Ali called him chivalrous.
My take: being called “sweet” usually doesn’t end well. If he doesn’t appear to have a rough side, Ali may send him packing. Won’t make it to top fifteen.