Out of the Wilderness

I distinctly remember as a child thinking to myself, “I will always wake up early on Saturdays to watch cartoons,” and wondering how anyone could do anything different… ever. I also remember wetting the bed, a lot. It was cold. It was not good. My point is, things change. Even personal absolutes (like watching cartoons) that I thought would never, ever, ever change.

“…get on your bikes and ride!”
Queen (from Fat Bottomed Girls)

Afternoons cruising Natchez Trace. Picking up my babe. Nodding at bicyclers. Not falling over. The fantasy of owning a hog became reality in 2007. This was after years and years of wanting one. It was everything I dreamed, except the part about picking up my babe. And nodding at bicyclers. And not losing my key in a corn maze. But still, it was awesome.It took all of a day for my mom and sister to tell me on the phone, “You should sell it.”  There wasn’t a chance of that happening. I was the brand new owner of a mean machine and thought to myself, “I will always have this bike.” But things change. Even personal absolutes.

I sold the bike almost a year ago now and haven’t missed it for a second. All this begs the question, though, what’s next? Are there things in my life that I’m sure will never change? I love living in Nashville and don’t foresee leaving. I recently had a major overhaul on the food I eat. I have a job that I really enjoy. Are changes in any of these areas on the horizon? Not sure, but I can tell you one thing…

I don’t wet the bed anymore and that’s all you need to know about that!

-Out of the Wilderness

 

post about loving the motorcycle, never planning to sell it

then one day, selling it… by choice

right now it’s Nashville, I can’t imagine living somewhere else

what will it be 5 years from now, 10 years?

I have no fear of attention. Before the ceremony I’m engaging the crowd, amiable and confident. Friends and family make up the onlookers, most of which are smiling and chatty. There’s an air of excitement. I move to the back of the room to greet folks loitering outside the sanctuary doors, and I sense her presence. I know it’s not traditional to see the bride in her wedding dress before she walks down the aisle, but she’s approaching and I’m uneasy. It’s hard to explain the uncertainty, but it’s like going to the dealership to pick up your dream car, but come home in the one with the best rebate. It’s good. It has great safety ratings and you kinda… sorta… pretty much… like it. It’s almost exactly like your dream car. Almost. And here I am on my wedding day about to drive a good car off the lot. She’s almost the woman of my dreams. Almost. It’s too late to call off the wedding, a sinking feeling in my stomach. In the back, behind the formally-dressed crowd, she passes by and looks back at me. I don’t really even know her, but I accept this as my fate. How does this all play out? Your guess is as good as mine, because I woke up before we said the I do’s.

Yes, this was literally a dream. One I was relieved to wake up from, and left wondering what it means. I could speculate, just as we all could, on how it may apply to my life. Is about new beginnings or a transition in my life? Is it symbolic of fear, anxiety or bitterness? Maybe I’ll find out when I shut my eyes tonight.

-Out of the Wilderness