Hotel Reviews: The Venetian in Las Vegas, NV

(for more hotel reviews, click here)

March 2011

Our plane touched down in Las Vegas Thursday early afternoon. Myself and a few colleagues were in town for a 4-day, 3-night stay in The Venetian Hotel. It was not a vacation, but I don’t know how anyone can go to Las Vegas for any reason and not think it’s some variation of a vacation.

My last hotel review was for The W in Chicago, that hotel not earning many points with me, so this hotel had some ground to make up. We left the airport after haggling with Hertz for longer than anybody wanted (I don’t do car rental reviews, but Hertz would get a 1 out of 10 on this trip). The Venetian started gaining points right off the bat, with free parking. A real nice touch when you expect to be spending money for a space to park. We checked in with no problems. The staff were quite helpful. For those needing internet or access to the fitness room, there’s a daily charge for that, but it was less than $20 per day.
I dropped my gear off in my room expecting to give the whole room a once over, but it was so big I didn’t have time to explore. The smallest rooms (what I was in), there are over 600 sq. feet so you’ll never feel cramped in these rooms.

Over the course of the next 4 days, I weighed the pro’s and con’s of the suite, and the attractive parts far outweigh any drawbacks. Let’s start with the most important offering, robes. Two big thumbs up for two complimentary robes: clean, large and soft.

Rooms: The rooms are large, the smallest suite boasting over 600 square feet. Navigating through the hotel can be a bit difficult due to the number of floors, rooms, and the large casino on the main floor. Expect a day or so of getting acclimated to the layout of the casino and hotel stairs and elevators.

Drapes: Yes. Not only did the drapes effectively block outside light, they were powered by a remote control. Very nice when you don’t want to cross into the second room to close them.

Bed: King-size bed with plenty of pillows. Real good.

Shower: Thumbs up. I like the idea of the shower in The W, but for me it just didn’t work. The shower here was simple, but all that was needed. The restroom also featured a separate bathtub, so that’s a bonus.

To sum up, this is a great hotel and I recommend staying here the next time you plan a trip to Las Vegas. Let’s be honest, if you’re coming to Vegas, you’re not coming simply to find a nice hotel, you’re there for the entertainment. Whether it’s gambling, shows, or people watching, the Venetian is in a prime location. It’s across the street from an affordable casino (The Mirage) or you can spend your time and money in the Venetian casino (general higher minimum bets than the Mirage). The Venetian is also host to restaurant row offering lots of good food choices that aren’t over-the-top expensive. There’s also a 24-hour Walgreens located conveniently between The Venetian and The Palazzo Hotel.

If you’ve been to the Venetian and agree/disagree with this review, please feel free to share your feedback. Thanks for reading! For more about The Venetian Hotel Resort & Casino, check out this blog.

Las Vegas, Jimmie Johnson, The Bachelor, Carrot Top, And More!

“The Bachelor Brad Womack: Women Tell All” episode has more drama than a Las Vegas casino. But a lot less alcohol. I was in Las Vegas recently and went to the Las Vegas Motor Speedway. If you remember from the group date in episode 5, this race track is where Brad found out about Emily’s past relationship with Nascar driver Ricky Hendrick. At the track, I didn’t notice any lingering effects from the episode. I only noticed fast cars, cool drivers like Jimmie Johnson, and plenty of Kentucky waterfalls. Click here for 10 signs your date was a contestant on the Bachelor.

Jimmie Johnson in the #48 car in Las Vegas.

“The Women Tell All” is a unique episode in that it’s the first time the girls are “in real life” and can talk about the first 9 episodes of the Bachelor… because they’ve been watching each week just like you and me. But before the show gets started, Chris sets up how things are going to shake out in the next two hours. He starts by tossing to an interview he conducted with Brad. Brad talks about the more notably events of the season including Chantal O.’s slap, Ashley H.’s carnival date, Madison’s fangs, and Shawntel’s funeral directing skills.

Brad about Shawntel asking him to lay on a death bed: “It’s a little awkward. It really was.”

Chris Harrison reveals there will be season 2 of “Bachelor Pad” which includes a cast that throws the craziest parties ever. Then we watch a Bachelor reunion party with lots of familiar faces. Ali and Roberto are there. The tattoo guy Kasey is back and still looking for love. Why hasn’t Kasey found anyone to guard and protect his heart? You mean to tell me his heart has been exposed this whole time? Darn. Maybe Roberto and Ali can help fix it, or just show up to be the example of how winners, win. Winning! Duh! What doesn’t mesh together in my head are the comments from past contestants saying they are all like a big Bachelor family and the some highlights we see of them kissing in the pool or in the mansion. Just call it what it is, “The Bachelor: Sodom and Gomorrah” or “The Bachelor: Kiss and Tell” or “The Bachelor: Kentucky.”

Coming back from a commercial, we are reintroduced to Sarah P., Lisa M., Melissa, Alli, Britt, Marissa, Raichel, Meghan, Stacey, Ashley S., Jackie, Ashley H., Michelle, Madison, and Shawntel N. Over half these girls give some kind of butterfly double hand wave. Weird. The girls reflect on the first night, getting out of the limo and meeting Brad for the first time. Cut to highlights, strictly limited to the backstabbing comments the girls made throughout the season. Back in the “live” studio, Stacey confronts Michelle. Other girls chime in, too. Jackie drops the bomb by telling Michelle she’s not funny. Whoa, Jackie, back off. You can accuse her as a mother, tell her she’s two-faced, even admit you gave her the black eye, but how dare you reject her inner Carrot Top.

Carrot Top before and after steroids.

Also check out: Deal Breakers in a Dating Relationship

Melissa takes the hot seat next to Chris Harrison. They discuss her feud with Raichel. Raichel wins the award for alliteration… friends, frantic, frazzled, freaking everyone out. Jackie pleases the audience by calling Raichel out for blaming Melissa. Ashley S. trumps Jackie with a comment about what kind of behavior guys like and don’t like. The crowd grows tired of clapping. But never tired of these verbal slaps.

Michelle is next to take the hot seat. Chris Harrison gives her a hug. She says she’s suffering from the ugly cry today. She’s unsure what the pretty cry is, though. Michelle fights tears through the interview as the scowling Jackie watches along. The gaggle of girls on stage share their opinions of Michelle, who’s still crying. Michelle explains her sense of humor, and how she’s so misunderstood. Chris Harrison calls her sarcasm a self-defense mechanism. Reminds of Kip learning self-defense in the hilarious movie: Napoleon Dynamite.

Kip trying Rex Kwon Do self-defense.

Stacey attacks Michelle then goes in for the kill. Chris Harrison whips out his man card and tells the girls to shut it so Michelle can regroup and finish the hot seat interview. Are you serious Chris? He just said the hot seat Michelle is sitting on is the hottest seat ever. Is anyone else growing tired of Chris Harrison exclaiming that this next whatever is the most whatever ever? Who does he think we are? Growing up I was told that if you have to keep telling people something is a certain way, it probably isn’t that way. It’s like a joke you have to keep explaining. It’s probably just not funny so it’s not a joke.

Here’s how to be funny.

Jackie, Stacey and Sarah P. are hounding Michelle, but hey girls, jealousy is much less attractive than you think Michelle is. Bam! You just got consulted. Britt tells it like it is, says Michelle is funny, no one should’ve thought she was really the kind of person she acted to be. After all is said and done with Michelle on the hottest seat ever, she comes off rather normal, don’t you agree? Well, normal for an actress trying to get her name out there. She knew, like we did, that Brichelle just won’t work. It sounds like Michelle but with nasty chest congestion. Brantal or Bremily for the victory.

Ashley S. takes the hot seat next. Is she wearing a silly band? That’s silly.

Ashley S. about Brad saying she wasn’t wife material: “That was such a dagger to my heart. I can’t tell you how bad that comment almost hurt.”

I’m confused. So you’re not telling us what again? I’m going to find out from Chuck Norris if daggers to the heart hurt. Or better yet, I’ll check with his enemies if they hurt or almost hurt.

Chuck Norris.

A tanning bed and a hair makeover later, Ashley H. is next on the hot seat. Let’s see how many words she adds the letter ‘a’ to… secand, upsat, axit, laft, defanse, knaw, yas, mysalf. Ok, that was almost bearable.

Now the man we’ve all been waiting for, Brad takes the stage with Chris Harrison. He wonders who that girl is over there. Haha, I just made you say overwear. Wait… that doesn’t work. Darn. Anyway, the new girl is the new Ashley H. complete with brunette hair, ruby red lips, white teeth and no more “mom hair.”

Brad talks about his relationship with Ashley S., Michelle, and Ashley H. Has Shawntel said a word yet? It’s time for her to say something. She’s the best one there. I wonder if Brad will talk to her. Nope, Chris Harrison tosses to clips of he and Brad at a school in Africa. They donated some kind of solar generator that gives the kids hot water. Amazing. Chris said it right, “A kid is a kid is a kid no matter where you go in the world.”

Brad talks about his relationship with Chantal and Emily. He’s the happiest he’s ever been with those two girls. He won’t say who he proposes to, but he says, “She’s changed my life.” He’s in love and falls more every day. A nice setup for next week’s season finale. Check back here next week for a riveting review of a rose and a rejection. See, I can do alliterations, too. Bam! Winning! Duh!

Volume 5: Teaching Dog To Respond Favorably.

My dog is over a year old now. For whatever reason, OK, I was intimidated by the task, I never taught my dog to come to me when I call for her.After teaching basic commands like sit and shake, I mustered up the courage to overcome my fear of rejection or failure and teach her the ‘come’ command.We are in the back yard. She is running around. When she runs towards me in an almost full sprint, I think to myself, “this is a good time to use the command since she’s already coming my way.”I could have said anything else and she would’ve continued running right up to my feet and sat, but when I used the new command, she froze where she was and stared at me.I said it again, “Piper, come!”Then I stooped down and offered her a treat while expressing the command. She walked to me. We celebrated the success with a belly rub (and the treat, of course). I was very happy with the progress we made in the first few days.Having treats ready for consumption was a big part of this command being taught successfully. Knowing that it takes consistency was key also. I have not broken her of her hunting rabbit instinct, but we’ll get there. For now, I’m just happy she knows “come” doesn’t mean freeze in place.Having a dog is a learning experience for me, too, not just her. Hoping for success when delivering a command depends a lot on where I’m standing. If I’m standing near door that goes inside, she’s less likely to respond favorably.If I’m near the fence, she’ll come to me, thinking I have a rabbit to show her or something.Resorting to tricks works, too, but most of the time I feel bad about it.Parenting a puppy is fun and tough. But at least now my dog will answer most of the time I call her.
Volume 1: Sharing A House With Dog.

Volume 2: Sharing A Car With Dog.

Volume 3: Sharing A Yard With Dog.

Volume 4: Sharing Problems with Dog.

The Bachelor Brad Womack, Episode 9: The Lion Sleeps Tonight

The show opens with Brad packing his bags to leave New York City and fly to South Africa. In the voiceover Brad tells us that he’s feeling lots of emotions, listing two. Hey, he’s a guy, give him a break. Balancing one emotion with another is more difficult than watching two football games on TV at the same time. Brad admits to having trust issues and making mistakes last time he was on The Bachelor. He flies to South Africa, alone. During the flight we see highlights of his relationship with Chantal… can it last? Highlights of his relationship with Ashley… it’s had some speed bumps. Highlights of his relationship with Emily… nervous about joining Emily’s family.

Brad lands in South Africa. There’s a montage of wild animals with the soothing sounds of The Lion King soundtrack. Somewhere Timon and Poomba are hacked when they find out The Bachelor is using Simba’s music. Royalties, man, royalties! We see a lot of elephants. The producers must’ve got my postcard with shot selections for South Africa. I love elephants. Then they cut to a momma monkey licking her feet and a baby monkey approaching the camera. Reminds me of Congo. Amy hungry. Amy angry. Amy roar and throw your camera. Just show the elephants again. Rhinos. Dirt roads. Then bam! More elephants. Elephants are good for ratings. Baby monkeys must be, too, because they show that baby monkey again.

The first date is with Chantal on a safari ride. They hug. They hug and have big hats. Touring around the land they see wild animals. Brad’s favorite- the lion. Giraffes stare at them. More elephants. I’m gonna have to send a thank-you card. It’ll say, “Thank you The Bachelor producers who got my post card and took my suggestions to show lots of elephants. Signed, An Ele-fant in Nashville.”

Brantal descend to a river guided by a gun-wielding man. I’m hoping this guy is part of the tour. They eat lunch while a couple of hippos watch. Apparently there’s bull in Africa because Chantal talks about how the safari is a metaphor for her and Brad’s relationship. That’s bull crap! But I never saw the bull. They toast to perfect beginnings and even better endings.

Brad goes on and on about what he likes about Chantal, and she returns the admiration. They talk about what “engagement” means, and if the rumors are true, Chantal can explain what it doesn’t mean. At this point though, Brad thinks she’s an incredible woman and Brantal make their way to the fantasy suite. What part of fantasy suite includes a tree house in the middle of the African safari? Who’s fantasy is this exactly?The sun sets. Brantal share in pillow talk in the bait trap tree house.

The next morning Brad tells us that he has missed Emily. He’s waiting for her to appear from around some trees, and of course, she does. Brad tells her he forgot something and runs back to get it. Emily becomes concerned that she’s standing alone like a defenseless gazelle. Brad and friend come riding in on an elephant. I’m gonna need to send more than a card. Elephants are all over this episode, and I think we can all agree, the real hero is the elephant. Am I right? Emily climbs up and they go elephanting through the forest. Is that a thing? “Hey bro, me and Emily went elephanting.” Yeah?

Emily compares the experience to the Lion King, except it’s better. She noted that Ricki would love this. Brad tells Emily he’s missed her and missed her daughter. They discuss the husband/father role and ask if Brad’s ready. He says he is. Brad’s thought about Ricki a lot. Brad is over-the-top committed to Emily and her daughter, so he says. They kiss. Her shorts seem even shorter at this point. Dinner time. Brad assists Emily in her seating, then reaches for the wine and says, “I need it.” Ouch. When’s the last time that ever meant something good at the beginning of a dinner date? There’s a baby elephant on a nearby lamp table being awfully still. It may be a statue. Emily comes clean about how she’s feeling. She’s all in and is eager to find out all that is Brad Womack. Brad’s nervous about offering her the fantasy suite but finally pops the question. Emily, being the good mom, talks about being a role model for her daughter, which evidently is enough to count as a good role model. She accepts after using the phrase “just talk.” When’s the last time that ever meant something good at the end of a dinner date?

They enter the fantasy suite to find food native to South Africa, cheesecake. Emily shares more from her heart, even confessing that she’s falling in love with Brad. Brad scratches his face, looks around, then says he’s falling in love with her, too. Bremily gaining momentum. This fantasy suite has turned into a fantastic suite! Hiyo!

The next date is with Ashley H. I’m not totally sure she didn’t have to check where in Africa was South Africa, but she arrives and Brad hugs her. They start the day by walking hand in hand down a dirt road, through some trees to discover a helicopter. It looks like a father walking his daughter to the park. She is scared to ride in the helicopter. Cue the Rocky music as Miss H. overcomes her fears. Ashley’s just like my puppy. She was afraid to jump off the step into the backyard, but she didn’t need Rocky music to get her to do it. Similarities between Ashley H. and Piper the puppy: Freak out about everything, curious, always needing entertainment, endless energy, pout when they don’t get their way——- Ok I’ll admit it, Ashley gives me a headache but Brad may like her so I’ll try to be fair.

Brashley flies over the African landscape. Rivers, trees, cliffs…

Ashley: “It’s like we were on top of the warld.”

World doesn’t have an ‘a’ but I’m not judging. They land and trek to a place called “God’s window.” Ashley asks if this is real life? Was she referring the kid who asked that same exact question after a dentist visit? That’s a funny video, if you haven’t seen it.
They set up a picnic and drink the juice. They talk about Ashley’s family. Brad talks about watching football with her dad at Thanksgiving. Then Brad asks where she wants to live. She had her heart set on a place that’s warm. She mentioned South… Maine. Yeah, that’s what Brad wanted to hear. Sure. They talk about her faults and her “need to achieve.” Brad says she reminds him of himself in his twenties. Working but having some regrets, missing out on some things. Brad says 10 years ago he was in the same place she is now. In other words, “10 years ago I would’ve given you a rose. But not tonight, Spazzy McEnergy.” They stand on God’s window sill and stare into the future. Ashley sees Brad, Brad sees the sky.

Show breaks to announce the cast of Dancing With the Stars. Perfect timing because I need a snack aaaand returning to the tv, oh they’re still announcing… I need milk for my cheerios. Alright back the program. The sun has set on the African plains. That means a Brashley dinner date. He eats meat and she eats puppy food—— I’m sorry! I just don’t like her. She and my puppy have so much in common. Except that my puppy doesn’t annoy me when she talks.

Ashley quits eating so she can talk. She communicates what she wants Brad to believe. I’ve been in a relationship and tried to make it work when it wasn’t working. That’s what’s happening between Brad and Ashley. She talks about unbreakable chemistry, compromise and living location. Brad confronts her about not mentioning Austin. Sounds like Brad has a case of the needs-to-get-over-it’s. Texas people, there are 49 other states and at least three that are better than you. Fourth is shameful, Texas people.

It’s becoming clear Brashley won’t be a “thing” as soon as Ashley begins to shut down and nit pick. Brad gets frustrated and defensive. Ashley, take advice from my beagle: calm down and eat your food. It’s all gonna be ok. We are witnessing the 28th breakup of the show. As the date goes on, Brad is losing his train of thought and getting a tan from Ashley’s meltdown. The fantasy suite. One last hoorah for Brad and the last chance for puppy to be adopted.

In the fantasy suite, they kiss. Then silence. They talk about the mosquito nets. In humanitarian circles, this talk is so sexy. However, the USS Brashley has sunk. Ashley has little hope at this point.

Brad sits down with Chris Harrison before the rose ceremony. Brad says this time around is no comparison to the last season he was The Bachelor. So the therapy paid off! Sweet relief, I was waiting to exhale. Brad gives a quick recap of the three dates…
Brantal had chemistry since day one. He feels like himself with her.
Brad says he feels like he has known Emily for a decade, if not longer.
The date with Ashley was rough.

Brad is about to leave a girl in Africa so fast she’ll think Zimbabwe is a new birth control pill. Brad’s about to leave a girl in Africa so fast she’ll think Cape Town is where Batman’s from. Brad’s about to leave a girl in Africa so fast she’ll think she’s being punk’d. Ok, I’m done.

Brad pulls Ashley aside just before roses are given out. They chat about stuff… the calm before the storm. The dark before the dawn. The puppy before the love——I’m sorry, I just don’t like her. Ok, I’m done. Crap, Ashley! Don’t cry. Ah, what the H, my bachelor fantasy season is ruined! Go ahead and let the Nile River flow. Kibbles is sent home with no bits before the rose ceremony even happens.

Brad leans over a railing and contemplates the decision he made. He must’ve forgot the other two girls were still waiting at the rose ceremony. Wait a second, who’s fantasy is this?

Funny or Not, Here They Come

A current topic at work among some friends of mine is the question, to what degree of injury or embarrassment does something funny become unfunny?

The topic began with the discussion of the female reporter covering the Grammy Awards. Immediately after the news desk tossed it to her, she bumbled her words, saying nothing that made sense, not even speaking words at all. Here’s a clip:

I seem to be in the minority in thinking that when something is life-altering, it’s not funny. Another example I brought up to defend my stance is a guy riding a bicycle into a tree. I think it’s hilarious, as would most people I assume. Even the folks in this discussion agree it’s funny. But let’s say the guy became paralyzed from the neck down? Then, is it still funny? A resounding ‘no.’ So think back to the reporter who fumbled her words… funny? Admittedly, I laughed when I saw it. After discovering the reason, though, I no longer think it’s funny. She suffers from a rare form of migraine headache. To me, that’s a life-altering circumstance. I’m sure she’s still embarrassed by the whole on-air flap, and it’s not right or encouraging to her for me to laugh at her suffering. I bet we’ve all had a fair share of embarrassing or life-altering events, would you want someone laughing at you for those things? Here’s one of my embarrassing moments.

A colleague brought up the show, ‘America’s Funniest Videos,’ asking me, “Do you think they check with the people in each video to make sure the embarrassed party wasn’t paralized or life was not somehow altered by what happened in the video?” They don’t have the time for that, and my guess is they wouldn’t air the clip if they knew the person ended up paralyzed, or an animal died, or something with a negative result happened. Furthermore, would anyone even submit a clip to ‘Home Videos’ if the person in the video died, was paralyzed, dismembered or experienced a negative life-altering event? No.

My colleague also brought up Saturday Night Live. They often use people’s misfortunes, faults, physical traits as the focus of jokes in their performances. What do you think? Is there a line in which something potentially funny becomes unfunny? If so, where’s the line? Anyway, here are some funny clips: