The Dos And Don’ts of Online Dating: Profile Picture

Online dating isn’t what it used to be. When it first began, the perception was that it was only for the desperate or lonely.

Actually, it may still work for the desperate or lonely, but it’s become something better, a legit avenue for starting relationships. It’s not even an “alternative” way to meet people, it’s simply a way among many ways to find dates, mates, and fates. That’s a slogan waiting to happen. Anyway, I’ve made a few notes to help those willing to step out of their friend circle, out of the bar, and step into— or should I say— step on…line. Disclaimer: I may refer to Match.com-specific features, most sites have similar functions but are named slightly different (ie. wink, ice-breaker, etc). This is by no means an all-inclusive list, but rather a compilation of personal observations based on real life experiences. 

Let’s start at the beginning, setting up your profile. Information you post here is critical as it’s the first impression for traffic your profile will pull in. You want it to be a cross between sincerity and humor so when people see your page, they’ll say to themselves, “Wow, that guy is
scrumdiddlyumptious!” (girls say that, right?) or
“She has all the characteristics I want in a wife!” (guys say that, right?)

Alright, step one is uploading pictures.

Profile Pictures:

DO: Post more than two pictures of yourself, preferably a couple of close-ups and a couple of head-to-toe photos.

DON’T: Post pictures of you and kids, unless they are yours. If you want people to know you love children, just type it into the “about me” section. No need to scare off half the potential dates in the first five seconds. And for no reason is it ok to post pictures of you with nieces/nephews. There are too many creepy’s out there to endanger your sibling’s children. 

DO: Use pictures taken within the past year. Remember, surprising your date the first time you meet in person is rarely a good thing.

DON’T: Post pictures of you and fifteen of your friends. Most of the time the picture is entirely too small and most people won’t squint for ten minutes trying to figure out which one you are. If you really want people to know you have friends, don’t worry. We assume you have friends.

DO: Post pictures that show you at your best. Save the I-just-woke-up  pictures for later. Even a picture or two with a few of your friends is ok, as long as you… (see below)

DON’T: Post pictures with friends that look better than you. The last thing you want is someone looking at your profile and wishing you were that other person in the picture.

DO: Look happy in your pictures, whether it’s a smile or just having a good time. No one wants to date a Negative Nancy or Danny Downer. If you’re sad or annoyed, my advice is to cancel your account, fix what needs fixing, then rejoin as a happier you.

DON’T: Upload extreme close-ups of your face. It’s like looking at a square inch of Starry Night. Allow enough space for the viewer to appreciate the whole package, whether it’s your face or the head-to-toe photo.

DON’T: Look completely different in every photo. If you’re currently a brunette with long hair, don’t post pictures of you as a blonde with shoulder-length hair.

DO: Think twice about uploading pictures of little Scruffy. No one is online trying to date your pet. And quite frankly, it’s an invasion of your pet’s privacy. My dog Piper is howling in agreement. 

DON’T: Use stock photography. Using Getty Images offers nothing original about you, even though everyone knows beagle puppies are cute. My dog Piper is howling again.

Ok, so you’ve got more than two original pictures uploaded and you’re using the best one as your main picture. Next, it’s time to describe yourself, or more simply, give all the information you’re willing to reveal to the world!

Check back Monday, September 13 for what to say and just as important, what not to say on your profile. Thanks for reading!

I Know More Now Than I Will Ten Years From Now

I’m 31-years-old and the world is mostly at my fingertips. I’ve made plenty of mistakes but mostly I’m over that. I know what’s right and I choose to do that almost every single time I have the chance. I can sort of see, though, that there’s a lot of evil in the world. It’s seems to be spreading quickly so when I think about starting a family and bringing more children into the world, part of me wonders why I would do that to them? Do I want them to see the things they will see? Do I want to pass down to them a society that’s defined not by churches on every street corner, but by how well we all accept each other and believe everything is right? Where wrong is only wrong to those who think it’s wrong? If you believe in God, great. If you don’t, great. Jesus was cool, but so was Muhammad and Gandhi and Joseph Smith. Everyone can be right, it’s the great thing about acceptance and tolerance and it’s the future of America! Hooray. That’s not what I will be teaching my kids, if I ever have kids. Probably won’t have to worry about that, because this video hasn’t gotten me nowhere! And neither has this one!

Even with our society promoting an inclusionist behavior, and my sarcastic view on it all, I have hope still. Not sure why, perhaps it’s the faith passed down to me from my parents. Faith passed down to them from my grandparents who bore the weight of such harrowing opposition and became known as “the great generation.” Is that faith what keeps me hanging on to something, some thing that exclaims there is good in the world? There is a reason to have joy. Bring kids into the world and teach them about puppies, and rollercoasters, Coke floats, and football, freeze tag, flip flops and the beach, faith and love. Forget what our economy is doing, forget who our President is or isn’t, but teach about a deep and rooted faith in a bigger and higher and smarter and wiser and more loving Being, then there’s joy.

But I’m only thirty-one and I know less now than I did ten years ago. Wink.

Fantasy Draft 2010: The Wrap-Up

The draft happened without a glitch. In a 12-team keeper league, my three were: Tony Romo, Brandon Marshall and Greg Jennings. In the draft I picked up C.J. Spiller, Carnell Williams, Tony Gonzalez, Robert Meachem, LaDainian Tomlinson, Sam Bradford, Kenny Britt, James Davis, Mark Sanchez, Matt Prater (K), Tennessee (DEF). So all in all, I think I did pretty well. Since it was a keeper league, most of the top tier in each position were already unavailable, and since I picked ninth, I didn’t get a couple of my top choices. But we’ll see what happens as game 1 approaches! How do you think I did? Would you disagree with any of my picks? Who would you start of those players I have available? Respond below.

Fantasy Football 2010: Draft Order

As another year of fantasy football begins, I’m spending time preparing my draft order. I play in a keeper league and my three keepers are:
Tony Romo (QB)
Greg Jennings (WR)
Brandon Marshall (WR)

Unavailable players are: Ronnie Brown, Ray Rice, Anquan Boldin, Philip Rivers, Dwayne Bowe, Michael Bush, Ryan Grant, Roddy White, Steve Smith (CAR), Maurice Jones-Drew, Rashard Mendenhall, Shonne Green, Adrian Peterson, Michael Turner, Drew Brees, Peyton Manning, Joseph Addai, LeSean McCoy, Aaron Rodgers, Randy Moss, Cedric Benson, Andre Johnson, Steven Jackson, DeAngelo Williams, Calvin Johnson (DET), Larry Fitzgerald, Dallas Clark, Chris Johnson (TEN), Frank Gore, Tom Brady

Positions I need filled are running back, a couple more wide receiver spots, a tight end, kicker and defense. So of all the available talent out there, who would you recommend I pick first? Second? Third? I’ve done some research myself, but I’m curious about the small crowd of people who follow fantasy football managers and read blogs. If that’s you, tell me what you think! Should my first pick (9th out of 12 in the first round) be a running back, another wide receiver, or a different position? 

Here’s how I did in the draft.

Volume 3: Sharing A Yard With Dog.

My beagle Piper likes to chase rabbits. I like to watch her chase rabbits. Sometimes I like to chase her. She likes to be chased. And this chasing is fun for us when it is fun for us. When I get home in the afternoon we may enjoy a good run around the yard. Not so much early in the morning. Mostly later in the afternoon is when these chases go down. I’m chasing her not to catch her, just to be playful, all because the back yard is fenced in and I have little to no concern of her running away.FLASHback! Piper and I had been together for about a month, mid December to mid January. I learned very quickly that I needed a fence because I didn’t like going outside with her every time she needed to. And I bet she sure as heck didn’t like me staring at her while she had her personal time out there. But I felt it was a must. The second I took my eyes off her, she’d be gone in the woods like a wild maniac beagle! So most of the time spent together was me saying, “Piper do this, Piper don’t eat that.”Claustraphobia was setting in and I knew I needed space. See, most people think fenced-in backyards are for the dog! Wrong. This fence was for me. We both benefit from it, though; I have some me time, which you know from volume 2 is very important, and she can roam around relatively unsupervised.Piper in the snow with the new fence.As I designed the layout of the fence, I decided it would be fun to include a woodsy area for Piper. An area behind my house that has some undergrowth, a few trees, etc. so she could explore. Much more exciting than grass only.  

FLASHforward TO CURRENT TIME! In our 439th installment of “Chase me! Come on, chase me!” a lengthy holdout transpired. I was trying to coax Piper inside the house so I could leave for work. She must’ve thought “come here” meant “go there” because she kept running to her hiding place, The Forest of You Can’t Get Me (a.k.a. the woodsy area). I ran in, she ran out. I ran out, she ran back in. A chess match of chasing. And I stink at chess. She was clearly winning. I don’t know if it was a full moon or what, but she was faster, quicker, feistier and had impressive tactical manuevers that defeated every attempt I made at catching her. Finally appealing to her curiosity, I pretended I wanted to show her something. Pointing down to the ground, I said, “Piper, look here! What is it!?” When she got close enough, bam! I corraled her in. Check mate! Then she wiggled out of my kung-fu grip and we did it all again.  

I was late for work.  

Piper as a puppy. Such an awesome dog!

This is volume 3 of a series titled, “I Own You. I Own You. A Look Into Who Owns Who, the Master and Puppy.” Check back often for the next in this ongoing series!