Ali Fedotowsky The Bachelorette, Ali Update.

In episode 1, Ali Fedotowsky rattled off a list of promises she’s hoping to fulfill this season. After numurous accusations of who’s “here for the right reasons” and a plethora of eliminations, let’s see how things are shaping up for her.

Promise #1: Ali will not going to let fear hold her back.
Early on she claimed to be afraid of flying, so with all the flying she’s done and the highwire act with Roberto on their date, she’s doing pretty well with this promise.

Promise #2: to find that guy.
If “find that guy” means “make out session with ten plus guys,” mission accomplished. Boots may have been made for walking, but Ali’s lips weren’t made for talking, if you know what I mean. This promise will end up unfulfilled. Ali may indeed get married at some point, but she will not find lifelong love via “The Bachelorette.”

Promise #3: she’s not going to let go of love this time.
Until she does.

Promise #4: she’s going to be strong.
She never clarified this promise. Did she mean physically strong? I haven’t seen her doing any push-ups or sit-ups. I see little to no definition in her arms, although there are signs of exercise in her abdomenal region. Maybe she meant emotionally strong? In the end, I hope she’s able to stand strong, stand proud, because voices that care are crying out loud.

Promise #5: not let everything that scared her in the past hold her back.
Only she knows what scared her in the past. Evidently she’s never been body slammed or watched Single White Female. Otherwise she would’ve eliminated Justin and Kasey much sooner.

Promise #6: to grow and become a better person.
The only thing growing is the risk of herpes of the mouth. That, and ringworm. I’m just saying ringworm spreads quickly, especially among wrestlers. I may or may not know that first hand, I’m just saying.

Promise #7: leave with no regrets.
There will be experiences she regrets from this season of the show. Not getting rid of Kasey sooner, for one.

Promise #8: move forward with an open mind and heart.
Seeing as how it’s impossible to move backwards, she’ll do fine here. I can’t say whether her mind and heart are open, but her mouth certainly is, if you know what I mean, heyyyoooo!

Promise #9: hoping she’s standing in some amazing place with tears in her eyes looking at a man down on one knee asking her to be his wife.
Hard to tell on this one. In episode 4 as she got her makeover, the makeup artist asked if the man she’d “end up with is here”? She responded with, “I do. I really, really do.” Sounds like she’s trying to convince herself. Too bad she let Craig M. go.

Check back soon for an update of episode 5!

Finders Keepers: An Insider View

You might wonder, as I often do, how people are discovering Out of the Wilderness. Well, I’ve listed a few of the most popular search terms that dump people here:

chuck norris xs
the driftwood guy
wise guy technological pro
resourceful is my characteristic
thrifty’s pizza wood stove

For those of you using these to find my site, I apologize. I have nothing to offer you. However, if you are curious about personality types, The Bachelorette, Droid vs. iPhone, ghost encounters, deal-breakers, Boney M, mustaches, or the sleeping patterns of Lost characters, then you just might find some worthy reading material.

Lastly, a quick sidenote: if you’re looking for pictures to use as a visual aid for the word “sleep” or “sleeping,” don’t do an image search for “big fluffy pillows.” You will not find fluffy pillows there.

Ali Fedotowsky The Bachelorette, Episode 4.

So far the least dramatic of the four episodes, but evenso, two guys struck out without a rose. The award for most entertaining goes to Jonathan this episode, impressing me each time he swung his bat and hit a comedy homerun, after all didn’t he say his secret weapon was humor? With a rich arsenal of words and phrases like “dolt,” “shmuck,” “this storm crapped in my face,” and “beehive of knives,” he hit enough homeruns for both teams!Between he and Frank the Smotherer I don’t know who is more desperate. Kasey comes in a close third, his desperation revealed in the first one-on-one date of the episode. The date card clued us in that they’d be doing “what comes natural.” So I guess they’re going to breath and sleep. Maybe, if the date goes well, they’ll poop. After their helicopter takes off from the USS Intrepid, they touch down in a field and have a picnic followed by a trip to the American Museum of Natural History. Oh, that’s what natural meant. Ali doesn’t think Kasey is being genuine and tells him that. Ali throws a curveball by not giving him a rose but! also not sending him home. Steeeerrrrike! The count is no balls and one strike. As referenced in meet the bachelors, Kasey will not last long if Ali doesn’t see a dangerous side. He may be a good man, but is he a bad boy? Back at the Bachelor suite, the group date card arrives with the clue, “let’s play.” This date includes Roberto, Jesse, Craig R., Kirk, Jonathan, Frank, and Ty. They all assume it’s some sort of sports competition, but are disappointed to find out “play” meant “theater.” Another curveball! Low and inside, ball one.

The guys find Ali at a Broadway stage where they’ll be auditioning for The Lion King. The director listens to them perform on stage and has the honor of choosing which bachelor gets the next date with Ali. Roberto wins the director’s vote based on his performance. He’s a baseball player but didn’t expect another curveball when he and Ali were told they’ll also be performing in The Lion King that night. Just a bit outside, ball two! Jealousy ran rampant among the other guys, especially Jonathan who’d love to have two balls thrown at him.

Ali and Roberto rehearse for their debut on Broadway, and of course Roberto does very well, making the guys jealous, again. At the end of the night Ali is “under the weather” and I don’t mean Jonathan the weatherman. He wishes! Or does he? In not-so-dramatic fashion, Ali tells the guys there won’t be a rose given out on this group date. Kirk kindly escorts her to the suite where he helps her drift off to sleep. What a kind and gentle competitor. We haven’t seen much of Justin up to this point, and we’re going to have to wait longer because Chris L. got the next one-on-one date.

Curveball! Ali is too sick to go on the date with Chris L. but she didn’t want to let him down on his birthday, so she invited him to her suite. “Sweet,” thought Chris L. Later Ali felt better so they spent the evening out on the town. Josh(who?)a Radin performs a few songs on a rooftop for them. Chris L. gets to second base and scores a rose at the end of the date.

Adding some overhyped drama, Kasey sneaks off to begin what will be an embarrassing story he’ll tell his grandkids one day, and later Jonathan sings to a girl, an embarrassing story he’ll tell his therapist one day. Highlight of the episode goes to Chris L. when he said about Kasey’s tattoo, “So you’re gonna be the tattooed bachelorette guy for the rest of your life. That’s gonna be probably your nickname.”

In the end roses went to Chris L., Kirk, Frank the Smotherer, Craig R., Chris N., Roberto, Justin, Ty, and Kasey. Sent home were Jonathan and Jesse.

Check back next week for a recap of episode 5!

Kasey's shield and heart tattoo.

Ali Fedotowsky The Bachelorette, Chris L.’s Birthday.

In episode 4 of The Bachelorette, Ali took Chris L. out his birthday, giving him the second one-on-one of this episode. Based on some amatuer research, I believe Chris L.’s birthday is March 26.

Here’s a recap of episode 4.

Personalities: Captains of IMDb

The person that quotes well-known movie lines and some abstract quotes only other “Captains” would know.

The description pretty much says it all. But first an explanation, IMDb stands for the Internet Movie Database. Any movie you can think of is listed there along with credits, gaffs, memorable quotes, and more. It really is a database of movie information. On the Internet. So this Captain, you know you know who I’m talking about. They have an unoriginal thought for every conversation. He (because this person is most likely a guy, we’ll get to that in a second) will extract a line from a movie and toss it into a conversation for the sake of humor or self-inclusion, both of which return unsuccessful, most of the time. Except for a courtesy laugh or if there’s another Captain involved who can validate the quote. This characteristic is a little different from the rest because at it’s foundation is not how they interact with other people, or why, but what they use to facilitate interaction. You see, other characteristics in “An Unschooled Look Into Personalities” are mostly based on a person’s inner self, they’re motivation for behaving a certain way, not their actual behavior. Therefore, Captains can also take on characteristics of any of the others listed. Let’s be honest though, a person who quotes lines from “Dumb & Dumber” isn’t exactly going to be the Indiana Jones of the South, if you know what I mean. Earlier I mentioned this person is usually a guy. Why? Well, it’s simple. Girls don’t think it’s cool to quote movie lines. Secondly, girls tend to think before they speak and guys rather pull lines from what someone else has already said, (requiring less thought). But mostly, girls don’t think it’s cool to quote movie lines.