Ali Fedotowsky The Bachelorette, Episode 1.

Meet the Bachelors!

Cue music, cue last season’s highlights, cue Ali Fedotowsky! Coming off a tough breakup with Jake Pavelka where Ali was “forced” to choose between her job and her man, she chose her job and lost her chance at love, until now— the sixth edition of The Bachelorette! Before 25-year-old Ali met the twenty-five guys, she rattled off a list of promises for this season:

1. not going to let fear hold her back.
2. find “that guy”.
3. not going to let go of love this time.
4. going to be strong.
5. grow and become a better person.
6. leave with no regrets.
7. determined to get that great man and move forward with an open mind and heart.
8. hoping she’s standing in some amazing place with tears in her eyes looking at a man down on one knee asking her to be his wife.

Also, if you didn’t hear the first 10 times it was mentioned, she quit her job and “left everything” to come do this show which, according to Chris, will be a party like we’ve never seen before! We’ll be the judge of that, won’t we? Time to meet the guys. The first limousine arrives with five men inside: Chris H., Jesse, Chris L., Ty and Frank. All five later get a rose. The second limousine arrives with Justin, Jay, Chris N., Kasey, and Kyle. Three of these men get a rose. Roberto, Craig M., John N., Tyler V. and John C. all arrive in limousine three. All but one later get a rose. The next limousine has four guys that will receive a rose: Jonathan, Craig R., Steve and Kirk. The fifth guy, Tyler M., made a fatal error in wearing boots just like Ali did when she first arrived to meet Jake. Only Ali didn’t wear boots. Goodbye Tyler. Limousine five might as well been decked out in camouflage because Hunter the outdoorsman is the only one who gets a rose. The other four include Derek, Phil, Shooter and Jason.

All the guys have arrived and Ali steps inside to begin the mingling. At one point Ali is asked what she’s looking for in a mate. She gives the formulaic answer of a guy who’s smart, funny, and wants to treat her right. Wow, that narrows it down.

For a closer look on each bachelor, click here.

After watching the two-hour season premiere, I’ve chosen who will make it to the top three. Ali Fedotowsky will pick either Roberto, Justin, or Kirk. But will she keep her list of promises? Will the man she chooses propose to her in some amazing place? We shall see! Thanks for reading, check out my recap for episode 2 here.

Will You Accept This Prose?

If dating were only as easy as The Bachelor makes it seem! The show is more of a scientific experiment than it is a true attempt at finding love. That’s why when you include the unknown variable, the X factor called “life,” the experiment most often blows up.

Jake Pavelka

If you can prove the success rate of that show is higher than the number of Yanni discs you have in your collection, then I will be a little more optimystique (optimism + still a little confused on where they mysteriously find the contestants for The Bachelor). Until then, I will have the sincerest devotion to the old-fashioned romantic moments I hear about when my parents or grandparents tell me how their stories began.

In my time, though, dating is a little different from theirs. Only slightly different because although the form or fashion in which relationships happen has changed dramatically (with the onslaught of social sites on the internet, ability to travel great distances quickly, revolution in sound technology, and, oh yeah, the internet!), the fundamentals of solid dating relationships remain the same: communication, common interests, mutual friends, keys to imagination and similar world views. The Bachelor includes one, maybe two of these fundamentals, and therefore, is starting behind the eight ball from the very beginning. The reason the success rate’s extremely low is because the relationships are formed in a controlled environment, just like an experiment. Once the show is over and the elements are introduced into the “real world,” the variables can no longer be controlled. Variables like career goals, family, location, ethnicity, and many more. To further my argument that dating is much harder than The Bachelor reveals, I give you… exhibit A: High School Ben Wilder.

My dating life got off to a slow start and to be perfectly honest, my first real kiss was in 10th grade. If I could tell you that secret with little to no embarrassment, then I’ve made progress in the 15 years gone by since. I often refer to my high school love life as “the private years” but again, to be perfectly honest, shrouding those years in privacy makes my love life sound so much more mysterious and exciting than it actually was. Tracy the softball player*. That’s who I kissed. Out of silence my love life burst into song!

Whether we were listening to “Sukiyaki” by 4 P.M. or the best of Yanni at the time, I can’t say. I was just happy it happened. A quick encouragement to readers patiently awaiting their first kiss: Hang in there and dare to dream!

To sum up, I hope these personal reflections of passion (I wouldn’t call my example of dating passionate, actually) help to prove the point that in dating, as in real life, sometimes you got to learn the hard way, not the live-on-television way. And yes I’m talking to you, too, Jake Pavelka. Vienna? Really? Reconsider Sheila Lidner (or return to suprise Ali Fedotowsky this season) before you tell Vienna, in one of your best Yanni voices, “niki nana.” However, if you end up marrying Vienna I’ll make a toast in celebration of life… and I’ll look up and whistle while I’m walking.

*I refer to Tracy’s love life in high school as “the chameleon days,” because I later found out she is now a lesbian. Hope it wasn’t because of me!