Ten songs that should be cancelled immediately

In the spirit of Aretha Franklin’s “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman” being offered up to the cancel culture (or was it satire?) because the idea of a man making a woman feel like a woman is somehow excluding or hating on the LGBTQ+ community and women in general, I’ve put together a list! I love lists. This one is definitely satire. I’ll just come out (get it?) and say it, all of these better be cancelled in 2023 if mankind has any hope of surviving! To hear the full track of each song, click on the link but be warned, you might get triggered…

Aerosmith “Dude Looks Like A Lady” The video starts off with catcall which is right away a recipe for cancellation… or at least a monetary fine. This whole song focuses on a guy that looks like a woman and at one point she ‘whipped out a gun’ and let me just tell you, it wasn’t a gun. You can’t be singing about a guy who looks like a woman in 2023 because he might identify as a woman, therefore he doesn’t look like a woman, he IS a woman. Cancelled.

Elvis Presley “Dirty, Dirty Feeling” This one should be first on the chopping block. With lyrics like ‘drag you home with me’ and ‘chain you to the wall,’ I’m quite honestly shocked this song hasn’t resurfaced (it was recorded in the 60s for the movie Tickle Me) because of the dirty, dirty feeling it gives liberals everywhere. CANCELLED!

Lou Reed “Walk on the Wild Side” Why this song hasn’t been cancelled yet is beyond me. We’re now required to capitalize the b in ‘black’ when referring to African-Americans and yet lyrics for this one include ‘…colored girls go doo, doo, doo, doo…” and I haven’t heard a peep about it. Where are the justice-seekers on this one? Cancelled.

Beach Boys “God Only Knows” Cancelling this one should be obvious. Any song played on a non-Christian station can’t include God in the title or lyrics. Come on, man! To acknowledge a higher power, especially the one from the Bible, is a nod to the patriarchy in America. CANCELLED!

DCTalk “Two Honks and a Negro” If this band were more mainstream and not mostly categorized as a Christian group, people would be outraged at their short song from 1992. The title is exactly why releasing this song in 2023 would never fly, even if the three guys (ya know, the two white guys and the black Black guy) didn’t mean any harm by it. Cancelled.

Tone Loc “Funky Cold Medina” After the Bill Cosby fiasco, not to mention the “say, what’s in this drink” Christmas song, it’s no longer acceptable to tamper with drinks to get dates. So Tone Loc’s concoction of a song is wrong on more than one level. Not only does he offer someone a suspicious drink, but when he finds out ‘Sheena was a man,’ he immediately threw him out. In 2023, you can’t NOT date someone based on their gender! Come on, Tone. CANCELLED!

The Angels “My Boyfriend’s Back” A woman who depends on a man to save her reputation? Aw nuh uh, not in 2023! Women can do anything a man can do so if there’s another guy coming around and causing trouble for a woman, she needs not to wait for a knight in shining armor to rescue her. She’s her own hero! This song is cancelled.

AC/DC “Highway to Hell” To acknowledge there’s a place called Hell, one must also admit there must be a place called Heaven. If Heaven is real, then one must decide if there is a God in Heaven. If there’s a God in Heaven, a decision has to be made about what God is all about and if one considers this, they must also then decide what they’re going to do with the information they have about God. How dare this song possibly sing about Christian symbols and ideas! CANCELLED.

Pope “Common People” Lyrics that include such harmful words, no matter what they might mean in other countries (Pope is an English band where stuff like ‘biscuit’ means cookie), ought to be tossed out with last night’s stale crisps (those are chips, mate!). This song has the phrase ‘Smoke some fags…’ but it doesn’t mean winning a hundred yard dash against your homosexual classmates. But still, meaning doesn’t matter in 2023. This is cancelled.

The Police “Every Breath You Take” Cancelling this song shouldn’t come with any opposition. With lyrics fit for the most freakish of stalkers, ‘every move you make, every step you take, I’ll be watching you,’ unless there’s a restraining order. Of course, there’s that inconvenient thing that crazy people probably don’t care much about laws. Either way, singing about being a clingy, obsessive stalker doesn’t sit so well in 2023. Cancelled!

How do you feel about this list of 10 must-cancel songs? Comment below with your thoughts and in the meantime I’m going to drink a tea, or have a brekkie, or whatever British people say for eating lunch.

-Out of the Wilderness

I don’t *think* I have PTSD…

…but every time it storms I have a lot of anxiety. I mostly associate PTSD symptoms with heroes in the military and people that have faced real trauma and come through it. So this storm/falling trees/heavy rain thing is minor compared to what those people have seen! It’s too bad, though, because I used to love storms. The sound of far off thunder, the steady waves of rain banging on the roof. I loved it. In fact, I’ve been known to sit in outside just to enjoy the sights and sounds. That is… until a couple of trees were blown over in a matter of seconds, landing directly on my roof! A strong gust of wind (and if you live in middle Tennessee, you know what these can be like) knocked many trees down in my neighborhood and I’ll never forget the sound and the anxiety from those moments.

Now I live in a travel trailer so every slight breeze is felt. A light rain echoes like a snare drum. I am a lot less safe in the trailer than I was in that brick house so when it rains or storms, I’m on edge. These storms definitely don’t help with the whole “I’m trying to sleep through the night like a normal human being” thing, that’s for sure!

I guess there’s a glimmer of hope, though. I became less anxious when I dug down into the fear. It’s wind. It’s trees falling. I take comfort that the travel trailer is parked in a pretty safe place. I don’t know if a tree has ever fallen anywhere close to where the trailer is. The trees are pretty tightly packed together, so that helps, too.

So is this PTSD, I don’t know? But it is definitely anxiety. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to enjoy the pitter patter of rain again, or watching waves of rain pass through while listening to thunder roar overhead.

See you again tomorrow…

-Out of the Wilderness

“That ’90s Show” …too much gay, not enough funny

It’s a little disappointing when you binge a show about being a kid in the 1990s (which I was) and the content looks nothing like you remember. Now I get it, people have different experiences and there might be a lot of 40-something-year-olds who can relate to this show. But it definitely looks like a 2023 version of 1995, unfortunately.

I went into the “That ’90s Show” series as one who hasn’t ever seen a full episode of “That ’70s Show,” which is the prequel, if you will, to this new Netflix series. But on a weekend where I was under the weather, I thought watching this show was better than searching WebMD for what my symptoms meant. The enjoyment lasted two, maybe three, episodes. First of all, it’s not that funny. Thinking about the episodes now, I can’t recall laughing. But what stands out even more is that it seems to be focused mostly on sex among teens and putting the gayness of the gay friend on a pedestal. I’m not sure if Hollywood knows this, and I have serious doubts that they have any clue at all, but it’s very possible to be gay and NOT be extremely irritating. The problem with this homosexual kid on the show is that he’s both gay AND annoying, and I think that’s a pretty big error on the part of the creators of the show. Make the character gay, fine! I’ve had gay friends over the years and they are some of my favorite people. On TV, see Oscar in “The Office,” or the cast of “Glee.” Show creators can also create an annoying character, go for it! I’ve had annoying friends over the years and the are not some of my favorite people. On TV, see Urkel from “Family Matters” or to use “The Office” again, Dwight.

But there isn’t a show I can think of, or more specifically a successful show I can think of, where a character is both gay and irritating as h*ll. The closest match I can think of is Carol and Susan from “Friends.” Both of the women were gay and irritating, but notice how seldom they showed up in the episodes… very sparingly.

In “That ’90s Show,” the gay kid gets the most screen time apart from the main character. And even more noticeable is how he can do no wrong. He’s the smartest, the most clever, and he’s kind of treated as the guru of the group. But he’s just not at all likable. In my ’90s experience, there weren’t any, or at least not many, guys or girls as irritatingly gay as this kid.

With that and the constant sex innuendos, what’s billed as a situation comedy… the sit isn’t relatable and the com is missing.

-Out of the Wilderness

Roller Derby Names for Women

I’ve been skating around the neighborhood with my niece and doing so has reminded me of roller derby. I really enjoyed going to watch the bouts in Nashville and it was fun to find out Tallahassee has a derby team, once the season starts. I’ll have to try going to watch them sometime! I mused many years ago that if I had a roller derby name, because they’re usually some kind of pun or twist on words, mine would be Tom Bruise. Every time I say it, I look around to see if anyone else thinks I’m as cool as I think I am.

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I thought it would be fun to come up with a list of derby names for women, so here’s that list. My favorites are the last 3 at the bottom. Which are your favorites? These might already be in use by a derby player somewhere, I have no idea.

Rollie Pollie

Derby Debbie

Debby Does Derby

Far From Brittle

Jelly Roll

Dolly Partin’

Angelina Derbie

Kim KarJAMian

Jam-ela Anderson

Strawberry Jammer

Penelope Bruise

Angelina Rollie

Marilyn Mon-roll

See you again tomorrow!

-Out of the Wilderness

The Accenture Robo-Dog Commercial – The Music and More!

We can all use more dogs in our lives, right? Even if they’re robots, give us all the dogs! In 2022, there was this KIA commercial with an adorable e-pup (if we can call it that?). Now Accenture has an electronic canine for us to adore…

The Music. The soundtrack for this is a song called “Dreaming” by Blondie. Here’s the full track…

As much as this commercial is a fantasy, there is a real robot dog created by some part of Accenture. Here’s a video from Accenture Baltics…

Is it weird that even with this lifeless mechanical dog, I want to pet it and cuddle it and feed it and take it on walks and buy it a cute little charging station!? I have issues.

How do you feel about the robo-dog commercial from Accenture? Cute, right? Chime in below and I’ll see ya tomorrow.

-Out of the Wilderness